Rob Kardashian Is In The Hospital Again
As everyone awesome continues to die even in the last stretch of 2016, one of the repeated cries has been, “Please, for the love of God, take a Kardashian.” So I’m here to tell you that 2016 has responded, and it’s answer is, “Perhaps I’ll do the bare minimum of that. Maybe. I’m kind of busy.” Then somewhere an adorable puppy died. TMZ reports:
Blac Chyna and Kris Jenner rushed to an emergency room Wednesday night after Rob Kardashian went into “medical distress.’ … TMZ has learned.
Chyna and Kris arrived separately — Kris was with Corey Gamble — and rushed into the ER at 9:45 PM near Hidden Hills, where the family lives.
Sources connected with the family confirm Rob had checked himself in earlier in the evening.
Rob and Chyna have been living separately, which explains why she showed up later.
Wait, Kris Jenner is by his side? Holy shit, he’s dead. Rob Kardashian died. There’s no way this didn’t happen.
“Hello, Rob. It’s your mother…”
“No… no… Diablo… ayudame! AYUDAME!”
“Still having sex without a condom, are we, Robert?”
“You cost me gold. That requires payment… with a soul.”
“She’s unhinging her jaw! Why is there no one in this hospit-“
*CRUNCH, SNORTLE, CRACK, SLURP*
“Khloe, dispose of the carcass.”
[Chewbacca roar here.]