Rita Ora’s Nipples: An Extended Report
You may have seen Rita Ora’s nipples in yesterday’s The Crap We Missed, but what you didn’t see is the ten other slightly different angles of them that you’re now getting in today’s gallery. “Slow news day?” you may ask, to which the answer is yes, maddeningly so, yes, but what you couldn’t possibly be aware of is this site’s secondary protocol. It goes like this, our prime directive is to get the clicks with the boobs, but sometimes we go all Kirk and attempt to squeeze some social commentary in between them (Sadly yes, this is the closest we’ll ever get to making out with a hot black chick). What we’re not supposed to talk about, however, is the ongoing mission to eliminate Kardashians in any way possible, but it has to look like an accident. Showcasing the boobs Rob Kardashian never gets to touch again is actually a black bag op for us.
“Slaughterhouse to Hog Farm, do you have visual confirmation of target, over?”
“Affirmative, Slaughterhouse, he’s on his laptop, can confirm target has seen the nipples, over.”
“What effect is the weapon having on him, over?”
“Results are expected, he’s on his third milkshake and hold on, we may have problem, he’s doubled over, he may be purgi– Nevermind, he was picking up some pizza off the floor.”
“Excellent. Get ready to deploy the deed to his 17-year-old sister’s house to his email.”