Rihanna ordered to testify against Chris Brown

May 28th, 2009 // 37 Comments

Chris Brown’s assault trial is apparently full steam ahead because Rihanna has been ordered to testify against her abusive ex. E! News reports:

The singer’s attorney, Donald Etra, told E! News that Rihanna will be called to testify at the June 22 preliminary hearing in Brown’s felony assault case.
“The judge advised me that there will be a subpoena for Rihanna as a witness at the preliminary hearing,” Etra said following a morning hearing. “She will definitely comply.”
And she will be doing so while facing her alleged attacker.
“He has to be here anytime a witness is called,” Brown’s attorney Mark Geragos said, confirming that the “monster”-denying R&B star will indeed be present to hear the testimony.

Things Chris Brown Should Probably Not Do During Rihanna’s Testimony:

1. Scream “I’ll kill you!”
2. Wave his fist at her. Then the jurors.
3. Dance for the judge. (That’ll be a tough one.)
4. Hug O.J.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Hash


  2. Pat

    Who does her hair, Kim Jong-iL?

  3. Kelley

    Rumour has it that SHE freaked on him physically when he got a text from another girl … apparently she threw the first punches, so this should be interesting !!

  4. Richard Leakey

    GADS MAN! I have discovered the missing link! Right between man and ape no less. Don’t get too close they stink. Hose the animal down while you’re at it!

  5. pappy smeary


    I am doing an adult remake titled “Sabrina the Teenage Cunt Muffin”

    2 Parts remaining:

    I am looking for teenagers with vaginas that resemble baked goods, specifically muffins. ($150/scene)

    Also, I am looking for a black cat who doesnt mind performing cunnilingus on a teenager with a muffin shaped vagina. ($40/scene)

    Contact me at powrightinthekissa1@yahoo.com

  6. Valerie

    I never seem to understand what’s going on on top of her head.

  7. Venom

    OMG I am laughing.
    Your writing is off the chain for this one.

  8. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    I’d beat my porch monkey girlfriend if she had that hair do also. No matter how tight her butt hole is!

    Pappy, that is some funny shit.

  9. Mr. Jones


  10. Judging my her hair, the prospect of testifying is scaring the shit out of her…

  11. Bots

    God, your so stupid. Just shuttup already.

  12. gigi

    the Kid & Play light skinded brotha + Morrissey = their love child, Rihanna [in these shots] hahahaaaaa

  13. lucci

    rihana back from the future – 1980s hair.

  14. Alli Watermelon

    She had better stand up to this bastard. And if she did throw the first punches, I haven’t seen any physical proof of that. Needless to say, if a girl punches a guy, he has every right to restrain her. But..I’m pretty sure we ALL saw the photo. That was an attack, not self defense (if he tries to claim so).

  15. gho


    You did it, you were first!

    Congratulations! Here come the paparazzi.

    Enjoy your life on the red carpet, you’ve sure earned it!

  16. effyeray

    The bitch attacked him (while driving.. what a stupid fuck). He defended himself & when he dropped her off she looked fine…. THEN out of nowhere she’s all fucking beaten. So you can add false police report to the fake, ugly, talentless bitches resume.

  17. Ask Away

    Is her head super small? Or does she have a tree-trunk neck? Either way, Chris Brown should be horse-whipped in front of the commoners (ie. on Entertainment Tonight).

  18. Bad hair day. She has some bad angles.

  19. Gando

    Her hair looks wild and her pants have holes! Obviously the poor girl has a rough time lately!

  20. Uncle Eccoli


  21. DCMikeRotch

    FREE OJ!


  22. mikeock

    Dumb bitch is channeling that guy from Kid ‘N Play

  23. Beastman AIDS

    goodbye erection.

  24. what?

    It’s Kid from Kid N’ Play!!!

  25. tom

    she’s kinda cute, but, I’m tellin ya there is just something not quite right about the shape of her head.

  26. lindsay

    wow, rhianna looks just like north korean dictator, kim jong il. faaaaaantastic work.

  27. ToTellTheTruth

    This charlie brown block headed bitch is crazy and SHE started the fight between them because she’s possessive and controlling and that guy got tired of it and freaked out and whipped the bitche’s ass. ALL those island people are nuts and have VERY bad tempers.

  28. hair style, cool… I came across an online community for individual seeking interracial love. It is blackwhitemeet.com All singles there are seeking interracial relationships. Interracial is not a problem there, but a great merit to cherish!

  29. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Nice hair, ERASERHEAD!

  30. Kelsey

    Wow did the last writer get fired? This place has actually been amusing again.

  31. WhoLovesYa, Baby

    This chick needs to ditch the brovahs and have her some sweet white meat.

  32. Tom K

    I see she is back to not covering up that space alien forehead of hers.

  33. yayifellup

    this bitch knows how to dress…..and all the assholes talking about how ugly she is are just sad sad people

  34. Mr Semprini

    Man her hair is high enough to hide Chris Brown in it… sayyyy

  35. Rinisama

    First of all, all you people saying she got what she deserved are either Chris Brown Lovers, or stupid men. No man has a right to beat up a woman like he did to her, no matter what. He could have easily restrained her skinny ass if she WAS the one swinging first. That girl probably weighs like a buck fifty wet, so there isn’t any reason in the world he couldn’t have stopped her without hurting her like that if she DID start it.

    You people are a peice of work, supporting this sort of bullshit. Let’s see what you think if it were to happen to you or someone you care about. I mean honestly, no matter how you think about it, what he did was wrong. Especially when he went on about his mom going through the same thing. You’d think he’d think of other ways to end it.

  36. Rihanna will face her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown in court after she was ordered to testify at his upcoming trial for domestic violence.
    The Barbadian singer has been served with a subpoena to appear in a Los Angeles courtroom on June 22 and intends to ‘co-operate fully’.
    But last night the 21-year-old put a brave face on as she joined her pop star friend Fergie to help her launch the Black Eyed Peas’ latest album.

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