Rihanna finds a rebound

May 21st, 2009 // 42 Comments

Despite the office pool (consisting of me and a stapler) that she’d go lesbian, Rihanna has found herself a new man, according to Page Six:

The Barbadian beauty showed up with a group of friends Monday at Lucky Strike Lanes & Lounge on West 42nd Street, but spent most of the night locking lips with Canadian former child actor-turned-rapper Aubrey “Drake” Graham. “She was drinking whiskey and apple juice and making out with him all night,” says a spy. “They were really cute together.”

Talk about a sweet gig for this Drake fellow. All he has to do is act like a decent human being by not hitting Rihanna, and he’s on his way to Vaginatown. Now, I’m not saying he should thank Chris Brown or anything because that’d be messed up, but would it hurt to send him a card? Just for the sake of being polite.

Photos: Getty, Splash News
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  1. Beau

    1st!!!! HotnesS!!!!!!!

  2. ashley

    first

  3. Deva

    Good for her. I hope this guy beats this piss out of her too!

  4. He looks like the hood version of Ross from Friends…

  5. Mr. Jones

    She should date Mike Tyson. He once smacked Robin Givhans so hard she bounced off the wall. He said (actual quote) that the punch was the best of his career.

  6. He look like the previous loser with a lazy eye!

    Id love to rest my beer can on her forehead in bed at night!,,,ohh i can only dreamz!

  7. Deacon Jones

    He looks like he should be on the FBIs most wanted list.

    And who the fuck drinks apple juice and whiskey? Do they give you a diaper along with the drink?

  8. jaime

    SW, why the hell did you change the comments link?
    that said, can’t wait til she tries to send some nude pics to this new guy so we all get them!

  9. plant huggers oath

    It’s always nice to see Degrassi stars making it big.

  10. Deacon Jones

    If I was an airport screener, I would just beat him over the head repeatedly as soon as he stepped in line. LOL

  11. what’s up with the hair? she looks like a pencil troll.

  12. Fuck U

    So the stupid bitch decided to pick up another womanbeater huh?..
    Good for her…this time perhaps he’ll finish the job…

  13. Dabney

    I think that’s Jimmy from Degrassi: the Next Generation! He is too sensitive to beat up anyone – good choice!

  14. Rinoa

    Hey it’s the dude from Degrassi!

  15. Fati

    Black women should not wear red lipstick. Scary.

  16. Dread not

    He should send Chris Brown a card. It should be a picture of himself balls deep in Rhianna, while she hooks her ankles behind her head. Instead of the “wish you were here” standard greeting on a post card, it should read, “I went to Vaginatown and I got a whole helluva lot more than a stupid t-shirt!”

  17. mafme

    Whiskey and apple juice? I almost threw up. It sounds like something a shitty parent would give a baby to knock it out.

  18. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Its Jimmy from DEGRASSI and he can walk again! LOL!

    Is it just me or is RIHANNA getting really weird looking? Is it the Joker lipstick , the KID N PLAY hair-do or both? Or all that and more?!

    Ahahahaha – Jimmy From DEGRASSI! I was always a “Craig Girl” myself!

  19. steve

    Gotta be a fake story. I mean, look how it begins: “The Barbadian beauty…”

  20. Trey Newman

    OK what the hell is this isnt she suppose to b with charles hamilton

  21. Trey Newman

    OK what the hell is this isnt she suppose to b with charles hamilton

  22. effyeray

    #20 steve- Hehhehee. Your post is funnier than anything the chick who writes this site has ever come up with. Because seriously… “beauty” & this fugly bitch just do not go in the same sentence. Ugly bitch is ugly.

  23. The nose knows

    This beast is ugly look at the deformed forehead and fat wide nose. Ape. Or half of an ape.

  24. Her jacket is making me dizzy.
    It seems that she’s “dating” a new guy every week. These stories are ridiculous.

  25. Dominatrix

    #24,
    sounds like you must have had your pooper chute hole split by a big chocolate stick. No?
    remember..if it looks bigger than yours…then you probably shouldn’t try sticking it in.

    Just saying :]

  26. givemewhiskeywithagingerback

    Whisky and apple juice. No shit? That is the worst drink order I’ve ever heard.

    On another note, her hairdos just keep getting worse. I’m getting horrible House Party flashbacks.

  27. givemewhiskeywithagingerback

    Whisky and apple juice. No shit? That is the worst drink order I’ve ever heard.

    On another note, her hairdos just keep getting worse. I’m getting horrible House Party flashbacks.

  28. ChristheFuzzy

    When will women learn that they look hideous in bright red lipstick? Also men, but you don’t run into that as often.

  29. ZOMFG ROFLMAO rhianna and jimmy brooks….

    I’m so sad that this is SOOOO funny to me….

  30. negroes amuse me

    silly negroes, who the fuck cares.

  31. danny c

    i think she should find a decent hair brush before
    finding a new bloke ….

  32. danny c

    i think she should find a decent hair brush before
    finding a new bloke ….

  33. danny c

    i think she should find a decent hair brush before
    finding a new bloke ….

  34. mon

    Oh my god… that IS jimmy from degrassi! She went from Chris Brown to some Canadian-teen-drama-actor–trying-to-turn-hip-hop-star? Ha!

    Well, at least this guy won’t beat her. Cause, you know, he’s Canadian. And let’s face it, they couldn’t kick ass in a fight with a chipmunk.

  35. Johnny Bravo

    @ 31 Go eat a dick !!

  36. Johnny Bravo

    @ 31 Go eat a dick !!

  37. Johnny Bravo

    @ 31 Go eat a dick !!

  38. debutante

    HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE A CAMEL.

  39. New new

    Thatz trif she is gonna end up getting slaped he is sooooooooooooooooooo much betta than than that i wanna slap both of them because she is nothing bet jellocey soon as drake grtz bigger of a star she is gonna fight hom itz going b the same thing

  40. both chris and ri gotta lotta mo livin to do, GOD sends us signs and it’s up to us to read that sign and learn from our mistakes and decisions, i wish them both the best

  41. froufrou

    #35 and 39, eat shit. I bet today you’d suck his dick even if it had sour cream and pickle juice on it. This guy is a total star , with talent.

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