Despite rumors to the contrary, Rihanna is fully cooperating with the district attorney’s office on Chris Brown’s assault case. Probably even more so now that they’re “on a break.” Us Magazine reports:
The Los Angeles County District Attorney denies that Rihanna is no longer cooperating in the Chris Brown case.
“We deal with her attorney who says she is a cooperating victim,” L.A. County D.A. spokesperson Sandi Gibbons tells Usmagazine.com.
According to FoxNews.com, the “Umbrella” singer “wants the whole thing” to go away and isn’t helping the D.A. prepare his case against Brown for allegedly assaulting her Feb. 8 — hours before both were scheduled to attend the Grammys.
Adds her lawyer, Donald Etra: “She will do everything that the law requires her to do…nothing has changed.”
Wait a minute. FOX News was wrong? Fuck, how does that even happen?! Well, it’s been fun, everybody. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sit in the bathtub with my G.I. Joe’s and wait for the universe to implode. Let’s roll, Serpentor.