Rihanna cooperating with DA’s office

March 31st, 2009 // 56 Comments

Despite rumors to the contrary, Rihanna is fully cooperating with the district attorney’s office on Chris Brown’s assault case. Probably even more so now that they’re “on a break.” Us Magazine reports:

The Los Angeles County District Attorney denies that Rihanna is no longer cooperating in the Chris Brown case.
“We deal with her attorney who says she is a cooperating victim,” L.A. County D.A. spokesperson Sandi Gibbons tells Usmagazine.com.
According to FoxNews.com, the “Umbrella” singer “wants the whole thing” to go away and isn’t helping the D.A. prepare his case against Brown for allegedly assaulting her Feb. 8 — hours before both were scheduled to attend the Grammys.
Adds her lawyer, Donald Etra: “She will do everything that the law requires her to do…nothing has changed.”

Wait a minute. FOX News was wrong? Fuck, how does that even happen?! Well, it’s been fun, everybody. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sit in the bathtub with my G.I. Joe’s and wait for the universe to implode. Let’s roll, Serpentor.


  1. Jrzmommy


  2. Maybe they were hoping she would do a duet with RNC chair Michael Steele.

  3. Backwood Bitch? where you been buddy? got struck by the economic hardship?

  4. Rhialto

    Weird,i’m wondering what’s really going on!

  5. Isn’t Fox news STILL reporting on Natalee Holloway too?

    I’m just sayin’…

  6. Nero

    Why can’t people just act normal!??

  7. joh

    Girl is just sticking to her guns! (har har)

  8. Nero

    The key of the whole story hangs on her necklet!

  9. Snaggletooth

    I still want to see her come out and say, ” All this bullshit has made me question my values and I’m playing for the other team now.”

  10. ph7

    How’d she end up with Gwyneth’s bra?

  11. Gando

    Michael Jackson hairdo!?

  12. ilovefox

    Fox news is never wrong. it’s the world that doesn’t go according to their reports!!

  13. Galtacticus

    Do i see a lill moustache there!?

  14. Faux News

    How dare you question our integrity! Haven’t you noticed the flag that waves continuously in a corner of the screen? Does CNN have that? Huh? Does it? Maybe one that’s BURNING!

    Our reporting of the news is appreciated by all patriotic citizens in the pro-America parts of the country, and that’s all we care about.

  15. Sure

    I think you need to read her lawyer’s statement a little more closely. She didn’t say she was cooperating (which she wasn’t initially), she said she would do what the law requires, which are two totally separate things.

    Oh, but you’d have to actually be able to read and comprehend words to realize that, my bad.

  16. I hope he gets in so much trouble he can’t even see daylight.

  17. Sarah Palin

    See, this is what I been tawkin abowt. When you tell Gawd’s truth, the liberal media gets all angry-like and starts spreadin’ its lies. It’s like Trig said the other day: “gaaaaaahh duuuuuhhh….doye?”

  18. Douchey! The only hardship you are experiencing are the ones pounding your gaping asshole. Figured I would find you on a fox news post, knob jockey.

  19. haha! I see, youre as lamer as ever!

  20. I heard Backwood Bitch been selling my quotes on Ebay to make ends meet!…

  21. #17 – Sadly, that mad me laugh.

  22. Jrz

    Nice. Ghetto. Tips.

  23. The Community

    Has anyone made a “Rhianna, Stop Snitchin!” T-Shirt yet?
    Cause she’s sending a bad message to the community with all her talking with the Man

  24. Gratuitous elipses following an exclamation point. Nobody does english grammar like you douchey!

  25. Laughing idiot

    This pig can’t even sing. Seriously. I listened to a few of her songs and she flat our sucks. How is this cunt rich and famous and what the fuck is wrong with her skull? She looks like a female frankenstein.
    Hopefully Mr. Brown will beat some more sense into that long noggin next time she pisses him off.

  26. Mr. Jones

    Chris will beat her in court – with a tire iron.

    He will file a writ of Beateus Corpus.

  27. Ein

    Such a ridiculous bitch.

  28. CakeSnifferer


  29. You’re attacking my grammar now BWB? Do you even know what ellipsis even mean Fool?

  30. I completely adore Rihanna and her entire body of work…

    …but I can’t help but notice that she’s experiencing male pattern baldness earlier than her (male) ex-boyfriend. What’s up with that hairline?

  31. Nabi

    FOX shouldn’t even be commenting on crap like this. One of the biggest scandals is how crappy our news services have become. The gossip and superficial garbage–and I’m not saying it has NO value–should be left to sites like this one. You guys don’t have to take yourselves so seriously.

  32. bleh!

    nice fur you skank!

  33. ada

    Lincon said all people have the right to love somebody, included LGBT. Now I can speak out loudly “hi everyone, I’m a bisexual. I love the world.” without any hesitation. No matter we are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, our heart is full of love. And we also hope to have life-long love” said by one of my bisexual friends met at the bisexual club http://www.seekbi.com on heart blog. Most of us like-minded people are deeply moved by her honest words. Thanks for making us accepted by others. We are really proud of us. happy life is up to you.

  34. Right

    It’s funny how you liberals discount Fox News just because they don’t tell you what you want to hear and what you’ve been brainwashed to think by the liberal run gov’t schools and media. So just keep on thinking that Biraq Obummer is gonna save the country by expanding the gov’t and turning the dollar into a peso by spending more money than Bush could’ve ever dreamed of. Silly little liberal sheep. Hey, did you get your bribe money for voting for Obummer yet? Didn’t think so.

  35. cheech

    at # 30

    she’s going bald because she messes with her hair too damn much with all the dyes, relaxers, and weaves. traction alopecia will mess your shiiiiiit up!! its bad enough she has a huge ass forehead, but the fact that her hair line is receding, exposing her five head even more is just plain out funny. i wonder what her hair line will look like in a couple years, i can imagine it will be completely destroyed, and be pushed back to the crown of her head.

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  43. Adds her lawyer, Donald Etra: “She will do everything that the law requires her to do…nothing has changed.

  44. a?k ?iirleri süper bekliyorum.

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