Rihanna & Chris Brown married?

March 4th, 2009 // 124 Comments

Here’s the most believable news ever: Rihanna and Chris Brown are married, according to Star:

“All she’s ever wanted was to be with him forever,” a source tells Star. “Rihanna is looking for the husband-and-two-kids deal before she turns 25. She believes in fairy tales, and she wants to live hers with Chris. She was totally up front and confessed to him, ‘I can’t live without you.’”
The pair wasted no time making Rihanna’s fairy tale come true. They even called a minister to the mansion on exclusive Star Island!

Well, she already took him back and as I always say despite it usually ending in divorce and/or sexual harassment litigation, “When you’ve dug yourself a hole, the best thing to do is keep digging until the shovel hits you in the face.” Which, let’s be frank, is a likely scenario for these two.

Photo: Fame
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  1. Jennyjenjen

    @46, No you are wrong. The CRA was intended to stop red-lining and intended to provide mortagages for people who QUALIFIED. You must be a fucking idiot if you honestly think anyone intended for people without jobs or income to be provided with mortgages. BTW, it was the greed driven white folks who created this mess, taking out sub-prime and no-document loans for giant houses they knew full well they couldn’t afford, yet had to keep up appearances..

  2. Murf

    Well, you realize……….

    Now that they are married she cannot be compelled by the COURT to TESTIFY against her HUSBAND. I smell lawyer behind this! And yes, she is still retarded.

  3. I'm an Ape-man I'm an Ape-Ape-man yes I'm an Ape-man.

    #51

    Franklin Raines fully intended for that to happen. He gladly bought up billions in defaulted loans as CEO of Fannie Mae so he could make his quota, even though the mortgages would never be paid. And he is Obomma’s financial advisor. Fucking liberal retards, look at the fucking facts instead of churning out your preprogrammed propoganda responses….

  4. North American Street Ape Hunter

    Awww c’mon guys the Wall Street banksters bundled up the risky mortgages into high risk investment vehicles or some other mutation of derivative. This is all engineered just as NAFTA and out-sourcing with the nefarious plot being to plunder and loot our nation AGAIN! When the blood and dust settles our pathetic empire will be no more. No more overtime and employers will take mighty advantage of that mark my words. I love the concept of a “right to work” state. That means “no rights at work”!

    The jobs will come back and the wages will suck. We will be a second world nation and nothing more. Fuck all the stooge lying politicians. The poor will be treated like the masterful israelis treat their hated Arab Palestinians. Like fucking animals.

    God bless the New World Order!

  5. #53 I see you enjoy playing hide and seek with your penis and little boys’ asses as much as I do…………..

  6. Realtor

    #51,

    I’m a realtor in New Jersey, and let me tell you what’s happened over the past 20 years. Liberal gov’t programs “encouraged” banks to give very risky loans to people with poor or no credit, promising they would underwrite those loans if they defaulted. In areas of New Jersey, like Moorestown, and down toward the shore, especially in Egg Harbor and parts of Upper Township and into Vineland, there were literally thousands of minorities, (mostly Blacks) taking huge mortgages, moving into $400,000-$700,000 homes. They not only took subprime “gov’t encouraged loans”, they took adjustable rate loans. They would move their entire families into these beautiful, new homes, 3 and 4 generations, relatieves, etc.
    They would pay their mortgage payments at first, but when the 3 or 5 year fixed rate expired, their payments doubled and even more, so they quit paying their loans. They’d wait until they were evicted, which could take years, and then they would simply have another family member get another “gov’t sponsored” loan, and either re-buy the house they’re still living in, or buy a new one. The cycle would continue. Now you’ve got literally thousands upon thousands of once new, beautiful homes, utterly destroyed. And it’s all because of liberal gov’t programs. In this area especially, the blacks have definately had a huge negative impact on the housing market and especially financial institutions. I wish they would’ve stayed in Camden.

  7. Two appointees

    Michael Brown (head of FEMA) and Christopher Cox (head of the SEC).

    Two guys appointed by Bush. Both were political appointees (not professionals), and both stood by while their agencies shriveled, assuming that they weren’t really needed, at least not at the size and strength they were previously.

    Two historic disasters. Both would have been bad no matter what, but both were transformed into catastrophes because the two agencies had become weak, disorganized, and demoralized. In all the months and now years after Katrina, FEMA never delivered large-scale competent disaster recovery assistance. The SEC did nothing (except trivial-scale fines for minor transgressions) as the Wall Street finance sector built insanely risky debt-to-equity ratios and LIED to investors about balance sheets (telling them things were looking good only days before bankruptcy occurred, so that they could parachute out with their millions before the collapse).

    Just two examples out of the many huge mistakes made by Bush that have put this country in the hole that it’s it right now. Yes, conservatives, this stuff WAS his fault. Nobody believes all evil is caused by Clinton and then Obama, except maybe people who recite fairy tales to themselves every day, like, say, Rush Limbaugh.

  8. wwwc

    Criticize their behaviour all you want, but the racial slurs only make you sound like an idiot redneck.
    This story has nothing to do with the fact that they are black. Whites and Asians beat their girlfriends, too.

  9. Massa'

    The only thing Porch Monkeys have ever been succesful at is destroying inner cities and ruining local economies.

    In fact, the only time the negro ape was ever organized or productive is when they were slaves.

    Even though every other race has been able to come to the USA and thrive within a generation, the blacks are still complete failures, even though they have more programs and assistance available to them then any other race….

  10. Apes in the White House

    #57 I see you’ve learned how to ‘copy and paste” propoganda off of moveon.org…..nice try you pillowbiting liberal….

  11. Reality

    Nice try, Mr. Realtor, but the subprime loans worked perfectly fine until Wall Street invented funds based on bundled mortgage-backed security derivatives and got away with calling default insurance “credit default swaps” to avoid federal regulation. As you know real estate has always be cyclical so a downturn was inevitable. We’ve had plenty of times when real estate prices have dropped and more mortgages have gone into default, as a correction for the inflated prices that always develop during economic expansions. But this time that ordinary downturn caused a national (and international) finance collapse because it deprived these risky “investment instruments” of the bottom-level cash they needed for credibility (forget actually providing real capital to back them up, that was never the case). Once investors started questioning whether financial institutions were offering real investments, vs. semi-fraudulent schemes, the gig was up. If it weren’t for the Wall Street guys – the same ones who took big bonuses while everything crashed – the current times would be an ordinary recession and we’d be in recovery by now. Those are the facts and everybody who doesn’t listen to talk radio knows them.

  12. Tim

    #60′s comment means “you used words that are way too big for me”.

  13. Mr. Jones

    Yes, talk radio is mostly bullshit, with nitwits climbing over themselves to agree with each other.

    But so is moron.org – an echo chamber of empty minds

    You red/blue idiots amuse me. Read “Gulliver’s Travels”. Grow an independent brain cell.

  14. Mr. Smith

    #63 – weigh in on the issues or stfu, nobody’s impressed with your “I’m above it all” posture.

  15. Good n Proud right winger wearing a diaper

    Starting an illegal war, idolizing Rush Limbaugh who is merely an entertainer with a paltry degree in broadcasting, having a president with the mind of a child and the work history of a failure, leaving the economy $9.5 trillion further in a debt that will NEVER be paid back to our owners the banking industry (Fedreral Reserve is private for profit of our masters dumbfucks), having the rest of the world hating us, Bernies Madoff sitting at home in luxury and the rest of Wall Street exposed as a cabal of thieves and liars endorsed by an administration that hated the United States and it’s Constitution not to mention the destruction of the middle class and outsourcing of millions of our jobs to communist china and elsewhere.

    But we are still proud of what we done did. Cuz we’re strong unlike you little pinko lib’rals. Hardee har har *belch*

  16. me

    Nobody messes with my farm equipment.

  17. Duh

    I love how she’s wearing a peace necklace. Something tells me “peace” had nothing to do with the pistol whipping C.B. bestowed upon her.

  18. Still White on the Outside

    It’s funny how you liberal clowns defend yourself, by attacking a radio host. It’s sad that even an overweight pill popping asshole can easily see the flaws in the mighty plans of the one.

    Instead of attacking Rush, or the 7/11 clerk jindal or whoever, why can’t you defend this RIDICULOUS stimulus bill and the complete retards that wrote it. It gives money to ACORN for god’s sake. How the hell is that going to stimulate jobs? It gives 5k to students in return for 1 year of public service. WTF? 5k is like 2 classes. How in the hell will that stimulate the economy, other than pump more jobless college dropouts into it?

  19. Mr. Jones

    #64 – I’m not “above it all”, I just don’t buy these false dichotomies.

    Go to a zoo, and watch the monkies throw crap at each other. Funny, isn’t it?

  20. I just want Rush to run for public office. Let him put him money where his fat fucking mouth is.

  21. RD

    I hope he smacks her around on their yet to be released (you know it will be out eventually) sex tape, though he should have taken a few lessons from Mike Tyson & used the open palm. It never left a bruise on Robin Givens face.

  22. Still White on the Outside

    @70
    Rush is a loser with no business being in office.

    Defend the stimulus bill.

  23. I can’t defend anything to ideological wackos, especially on the Fish. But the GOP had unfettered control for eight years, tripled our debt and squandered our surplus. In fact, the conservatives are at the heart of most, but not all, of the lobbying scandals and loss in confidence overall that the average citizen had for its government. Time to give the other guys a chance. Seriously, where were you morons when W treated the treasury like his piggy bank? All this racist BS and other crap is pointless. Stating that the market was at 14200 12 months ago is a BS arguement too, especially if you haven’t been living under a rock and realize that, again the GOP had 8 years to fix whatever the Dems (way back to Carter, of course) supposedly broke. And, it’s not a stimulus bill, I do believe it’s the law of the land. But I’m not surprised that you like to live in the past.

  24. Anon-E-Mouse

    My first instinct is not to believe this story since it’s from Star Magazine. However, they were one of the first people to announce Rihanna and Chris was back together so who knows. Hopefully, it’s not true.

  25. Sarcasm

    Sure… spending the economy out of a recession… makes sense… why not?

  26. Diaper load of Republican nonsense

    I hope the president fails. That’s why I signed a contract for half a billion to sit behind a microphone and babble to idiots. What do I care about the middle class, the poor, or the state of affairs of any one nation as I have invested well in multinational corporations!
    And people actually listen to me!
    Ahhhhh haaaaaa ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    (the fat slob pulls his soupy diaper off and wiggles his ample buttocks shaking free a few loose stools in the process, sits back down and eats. alot)

  27. It Me

    Donkey punch does the body good!!

  28. pleasurep

    This news gets funnier and funnier each day…. I saw some crazy stuff at chrisbrownsupport.com where they have a game to beat up chris brown then kiss him, u should play, lol. Be easy everyone

  29. Lux

    Yeah. Right. Darwinism will solve it all.

  30. CLAN Master

    Glad to see all me ignorant brothers are here right on time.

  31. Aja

    Why are the comments so political and racial? LOL, this is a CELEBRITY GOSSIP SITE. PLEASE BRING YOUR BORING CONVERSATIONS ELSEWHERE.

  32. Richard McBeef

    @80 CLAN Master – it’s klan as in kkk. are you talking about the foot clan?

  33. Richard McBeef

    @81 – no shit. nobody wants to hear that rubbish.

  34. Tom K

    *SIGH*

    @ 33. The Music Elitist

    People are calling these two “monkeys” because they are acting as such. They are both acting wild and irrational! You have Travis the chimp “aka” Chris Brown riding on Jet Ski’s and living it up after beating his girlfriends ass. Then you have Rihanna who gets her ass kicked in public and runs back literally three weeks later to lick his yellow gorilla penis. Their behavior is completely jungle and animalistic.

  35. Somebody

    Somebody get Rihanna the cd single “Womanizer” by Britney Spears.
    Play it until she breaks up with Chris “Wife Beater” Brown.

  36. CLAN Master

    Sorry but we int to bright round here 82

  37. CLAN Master

    Vanilla gorilla clan
    All of our entertainers are upstanding people of unquestionable character. They never do anything wild or irrational.

  38. that would be crazy if Rihanna and Chris Brown got back together; in any case, there is probably more going on behind the scenes than the media can pick up on

  39. Sauron

    The answer is yes.But stop posting irrelevant Chris Brown posts.I start to get irritated by this ungrateful guy.Yes!

  40. Jin

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    Good luck for you, wish you find your girls or guys.

  41. me

    Nlggers are the reason our economy is in the tank. We gave them loans that they never intended on paying back. It’s just part of the negro lottery. There’s a reason why every negro country is chaotic. They’re all criminals who only care about themselves. They don’t even cars about their niglets unless they can make a buck from them.

  42. Lowlands

    Sauron is the real guy you’re looking for.His email adress is confirming this.Chris Brown is an ungrateful guy! He’s a spoiled virgin in the real world! And his virginity needs to be taken in jail! I’m going back to this really big club. . .Sniff. . . My email adress wil confirm this.

  43. Darth

    Sauron is loyal,modest and the coolest person i know! And his heart is made out of solid gold!

  44. Gando

    I would throw my sandals direction the head of Chris Brown.But i would throw red and black roses to Sauron’s head! He’s blessed with wisdom!

  45. Lio

    animals…only low life animals do this shit.

    fucking young rich herbs, don’t deserve shit.

  46. Lio

    @ 60

    you are a piece of shit, wtf? what kind of loser copies and pastes comments on google to see if its that guys comment is a bite off of some political commentary website.

    get a fuckin life, loser. go to school or something.

  47. CLAN Master

    Its dem poor ass blacks done ruined our economy and causing all the problems in this once great country of ours I tell ya.

  48. Sauron

    My answer is still yes to the marriage! Since everybody is talking about this.Become a member of marriage.com! Where you can find hearts made of solid gold!

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