Rihanna Wants To Babysit Snooki’s Baby

“And here’s how you wash your ass. Something your mama will never teach you on account of Ewoks liking their fur dry…”

According to Us Magazine, Rihanna apparently offered to babysit’s Snooki’s newborn son Lorenzo which makes me feel much better now about her pretending to get back together with Chris Brown because clearly her endgame all along was to preserve the gene pool.

RIHANNA: Yo, Chris, this baby just peeped your phone!
CHRIS: Is it smaller and weaker than me?
CHRIS: Then I’m gonna fuck it up.

Ha! For a minute there I thought she was going to have sex with him again. Could you imagine?

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Splash News