The Irish Made Rihanna Cover Up

September 27th, 2011 // 106 Comments

If you clicked through yesterday’s The Crap We Missed, you might have noticed Rihanna shooting a video in Ireland wearing what appears to be a bikini made out of red bandanas. Turns out the farmer who owns the field also noticed and found his Christian sensibilities to be offended. BBC News reports:

“I thought it was inappropriate. I requested them to stop and they did,” he explained.
“I had my conversation with Rihanna and I hope she understands where I’m coming from. We shook hands,” he said.
Mr Graham admitted that he did not know who the 23-year-old sex symbol was when he got a phone call to ask for the use of his field in Bangor, County Down, for a pop video last week.
“I didn’t know who was coming. If the name ‘Rihanna’ had been mentioned, well, no disrespect but it wouldn’t have meant anything,” he explained.
… “From my point of view, it was my land, I have an ethos and I felt it was inappropriate.
“I wish no ill will against Rihanna and her friends. Perhaps they could acquaint themselves with a greater God,” he said.

I should probably mention that photos came in this morning showing Rihanna running around completely topless during the shoot, so there’s that. But just for future reference, let’s make sure we’re all clear on what’s acceptable in Ireland and what’s not:

- Drinking yourself into a state of self-pissification. Acceptable.
- Punching women in the face. Acceptable.
- Practicing a religion that allows clergy to rape young boys in the mouth. Acceptable.
- Blowing up Protestants. Acceptable.
- Women’s breasts in a field. Unacceptable. “Yell fright’n the pataydoes.”

Photo: INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Rihanna Topless
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t say I blame that poor Irish farmer for making a complaint.
    This would scare the horses. If you scare the horses than you should find someplace else for your activities.

  2. Jigs

    I heard him on the wireless this morning. He said he’d keep what he said to Rihanna between the two of them but from what he said, it sounds like he was mostly offended by the toplessness of it all. When the host asked him what part of bikini top and jeans he didn’t like, he said she was wearing less than a bikini top “but of course jeans” when he saw her and decided to put a stop to it.

    Oh, and for the record, the ‘remote field’ was next to a major road and there were cars and buses going by and people stopping to watch the shoot.

    • Dan

      I would have put a stop to it too since a girl is running topless in your field is being a tease.

      Show all the goods or nothin’ all is what I always say.

  3. Wonder if he would have said the same thing had it been Kelly Brook?

    • Kim

      I know this is all for funnies, but Bangor is in Northern Ireland, so there is a good chance the farmer is protestant.

      • Uh, my comment had nothing do to with religion.

        Personally, I would not let this POS run around my farm topless unless they paid me big bucks for the pain and suffering it would cause my eyes. Now on the other hand, if they told me Kelly Brook would be frolicking around topless..well she could do that for no charge.

      • Liz

        He’s from *Northern* Ireland, not the Republic. Different countries, genius. He’s a member of the DUP. And yes, he’s a Protestant.

        Honestly, as a Protestant from the Republic of Ireland, I’ve never had problems from my compatriots. I loathe Irish-Americans, mainly because they were mostly born elsewhere but they think they’re more Irish than I am. I’ve been told that “being born in a stable doesn’t make you a horse”.

      • Liz

        Uh, I was replying to Kim, not Fletch.

  4. Lucy928

    Her outfit is cute and doesn’t seem offensive… but it’s this guy’s farm, so he can ask her to cover up, right? It’s not like he called the cops or anything about it. Not a big deal. Also, there’s really no correlation here between the Catholic sex scandals and this story… no need to bring it up.

    • Sure there is. Website hits can be converted into sweet, sweet vodka.

      • TomFrank

        Yes, website hits can be converted into vodka…as can potatoes. And yet, in all those years, the Irish never came up with potato vodka on their own, did they? How did that not happen?

    • Anon

      Yeah, I agree… I doubt this particular guy hits women in the face, I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t get himself piss-drunk, and he’s probably Protestant. So, I don’t know… He never said it shouldn’t be allowed in Ireland; he just said he didn’t want it on his property once he saw that she was topless. Really not a big news story.

      • Liz

        Again, he’s not Irish, he’s Northern Irish. And he’s a Democratic Unionist Party member, which means he’s almost certainly teetotal.

  5. Irish Girl

    Nothing Racist about ye…!!!

    And how do we know what Religion this Farmer was..?? It was in Northern Ireland, BUT we have lots of different religions in the Republic also..

  6. Rihanna Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    You can even see anything! This picture sucks!

  7. fish you can smite my (our?) church all you want but easy on the blowing up of protestants. they fucking started it by occupying the land.. and i rem bloody sunday like it was yesterday. we had a longass silence in assembly the next day to remember the teenagers shot in the back by the british army for peacefully demonstrating.. brave bastards those english were

    • Richard McBeef

      *making jack-off motion with hand*

    • Liz

      Clearly an ignorant, uneducated Irish American – but I repeat myself…

      • the only irish in me is guinness. i’m half english. nice try tho. and at the risk of repeating myself as well, liz…

      • Farmer Dan

        Hey Liz, I agree with you totally. Really can’t stand Americans, describing themselves as ‘Irish’, ‘French’, ‘Danish’ etc. They’re ignorant, uncultured morons, what they mean to say is that’s their heritage. This is why the world laughs at them.

      • Michael

        While I get most of the dumb ass comments despite the fact that the article was written by an uneducated moron, could someone explain the punch in the face comment? Also most Irish people north or south couldn’t give a toss about religion and would have no objection to Rihanna showing her assets publically. As for the farmer, if he didn’t want it on his proprerty then surely that’s his good right. What the hell is all the fuss. I’ve lived in the US and there is far more bigotry there, religious, racial or otherwise then virtually anywhere in the world. Bloody hell you still have dry counties where you can’t get a bloody drink and you elected the Bushes…three times. What the hell is that all about?

    • well

      Wait, so the British government occupying Ireland means it’s ok to blow up innocents protestant and British civilians? I guess you’re ok with 9/11 then, seeing as that was about the U.S government supporting oppression of Palestine? Or maybe you’re just a massive fucking hypocrite. Terrorists are terrorists, killing innocent people because of what their government did is never justified you utter cunt. Stop spending so much time with plastic paddys with an axe to grind.

      • @wait, it takes a lot to drive a person to blow themselves or others up. irish republicans and palestinians are human beings too and if pushed to the bring (read, if it was your state under brutal occupation) any human’s capable of taking that road. and farmer dan i’m not fucking irish, im american, of mixed ancestry (and race).

        try just bring guided by truth instead of jingoism and READ a little history.

      • Richard McBeef

        stick to the penis jokes d@d.d

      • @Beef, all this shit in the end is one side being played against the other by those with all the money. you know, the ones we bailed out a couple years ago, now they’re hoarding a record amount of money that’s killing any chance of job creation. there’s a site called GetMoneyOut that keeps “crashing” that’s essentially a petition to ban $$$ from the election process in the US.. THAT’s where the healing will begin my friend.. that and a return to the days of free love….

      • Liz

        Oh, for god’s sake, Dudewiththestoooopidname.

        Firstly, if you’re not Irish (and no, Irish Americans do not count), THEN STOP FUCKING TRYING TO TALK FOR US. We don’t want Northern Ireland. Northern Ireland was never “occupied” – the places where the majority wanted to be independent formed a Republic. The places where the majority wanted to stay, stayed in the Union.

        And if you want to talk about oppression, how about the Protestants who were kicked out of the Republic in the 1920s? No, it wasn’t official. But if the new Constitution sets it out as a Catholic country with a Catholic govt, and the police either turn a blind eye to the murders, beatings, rapes and thefts or actively take part in them, and the govt is confiscating your property, then there’s not a whole lot of difference.

        Try READING a little bit before you make a fool of yourself on the interwebs. Unless this was just intellectual masturbation.

      • liz for the third goddam time im not irish fucking anything. but i did grow up with a *lot* of irish orig from NI, who shared plenty of first hand horror stories about the conditions there. to clarify that was almost 40 years ago now, so idk how old you are, maybe you have it easier than they did. but fwiw you come off like one of the protestsnts there who keep going on about how all these referenda come about to stay part of britain–ignoring the fact those “irish” who vote to stay in the uk are fucking english decendents, and not exactly true irish. i could give a fuck about ireland to be honest i only drink guinness and banged a few paddies in my day, but saying they’re terrorists for trying to kick the brits out of their island is to ignore hundreds of years of murders going back to pale, the rebels in corke, etc.. so fuck off yourself

      • p.s. look liz i’m not trying to put you down. i know u ppl are fed history from the victors (britain) in school and the media about how youd be shite without england wiping ur arses, but look at the southern hemisphere and tell me british, french, and dutch imperialism have produced anything but banana republics. take it from someone in a place that did already give england the royal boot, try self-determination. americans were branded traitors and terrorists once, but america can kick englands ass to kingdon come now.

        your gdp is €37B. that equals the state of idaho here (43rd out of 50 states in gdp, a place known only for potatoes). you’re a glorified third world state being used to produce cheap ships and textiles for england. but be slaves and bury ur nut in the sand. ignorance is bliss.

        forgive me now tho i have tits and arse to get back to cos that’s what’s important to me. i’m already in a place that’s figured it out :)

  8. Not Long

    Made Rihanna cover up? The Irish must burn in hell…

  9. Richard McBeef

    If he was just wanting to cover up her bulbous head with a paper bag I would throw his name in the hat for Nobel Peace Prize.

    • Crabby Old Guy

      McBeef, as always you have cut right through the other’s religious/political asshat comments and have NAILED the salient point. Thank you!

  10. Sarcasm

    what a dick. i would have told him to shove it. she should be able to wear whatever she effing wants. i dont know why this makes me angry, but it did. for some reason. uhm….women’s rights! or something.

  11. RoboZombie

    So we’re “made in God’s image”?? And God has a problem looking upon the purest form of his image?
    I love religion…so dopey.

    • Anon

      I’m not Christian, but if you’re going to insult something, at least be well-educated, geez. Yes, made in God’s image, but after the Fall, the original sin, they became aware of their nakedness (which shouldn’t have been a problem), and they clothed themselves.

      In 1 Corinthians (ch. 15? I don’t remember; don’t feel like looking it up), Paul talks about how our forms on Earth are just that… Earthly bodies. They’re temporary. He then says that after resurrection, we will take the REAL body, the spiritual body, the one that resembles God.

      So at least know what you’re talking about before you make dumb statements like that. Dopey.

      • Anon

        One more thought — Christians don’t think that nakedness is a sin. But, come on — what Rihanna’s doing is sexualizing herself to make money. That is definitely not following Christian morals. Don’t be such an idiot next time. It invalidates everything you say.

      • Mike Walker

        Nothing dopier than a pedantic analysis of socially biased, second hand translations of 1500-2000 year old writings that were bullshit when they were first scribbled down.

      • Anon

        All that I’m saying is, if he’s going to make fun of religion and the followers of that religion (however bullshitty it and they may be), at least get the actual beliefs RIGHT, so that you can make fun of them.

  12. Ed G.

    If you can believe Wikipedia, County Down “is one of only two counties of Ireland to presently have a majority of the population from a Protestant community background, according to the 2001 census.”

    I’ld say that lashing out Northern Irish Catholics might be a wee premature.
    (drinks another Guinness)

  13. Philliesfan36

    There’s no fucking difference between a catholic and a protestant. They’re both fucking idiotic cults who praise the same “god” but can’t even agree on how to do it. You Irish are as fucking stupid as the muslims.

    • Farmer Dan

      Says the American…

      Protestants, Catholics, Jews and Muslims all share the same ‘God’, educated much you dumb piece of shit?

    • Ok iam catholic i don’t make a fuss on my religion or obey every commandment but protestant was made by Henry 8th cause he wanted the religion but he wanted to be able to sleep around and as for other comments about british being fucking saints and making us out to be terriost what they dont tell you on the british news channels bbc, utv, 5 etc is when an irish man gets killed for being irish or a police man murdered for being irish they just say a man died but when a orange cunt dies theres a big fuss. and the guy who wrote this and said our priests are pedos and we hit women there are far more pedos in america i love america but some people can be extremely thick and bigots and i dont know where you get saying that.

  14. Ecce

    Feckin’ cultchie. Don’t assume that most of Ireland is like that. Just the boggers are.

  15. Nathan

    Pretty sure the guy wasn’t Catholic, going by his surname and the fact he is a member of the DUP.

  16. Rihanna Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    I would like to know how one gets that man’s job.

  17. titsonsnack

    “If you clicked through yesterday’s The Crap We Missed, “… sorry but I never do. The “crap we missed” posts could be filled to the brim with the most crazy celeb news of all time and I still always just kinda skim over it without really reading/clicking on anything because it’s so half-assed phoning it in. Write actual entries :( anybody could just make a list of what all the other blogs are posting about.

    • buy fish a boat with your click dollars

      I used to skip TCWM for the same reason, but then I realized it is a treasure trove of lulz from the commenters.

  18. LeGrouch

    LMAO!!!! “Good catholic sensibilities” he’s an alderman with the DUP, as Protestant as they come, not sure he’d take kindly to that reference. Shows good old Norn Iron (Northern Ireland) as the backwards ass country it is though. I’m sure the Irish would have had no problems at all with it.

  19. Schmidtler

    I can’t stand her ‘music’, but there’s just no arguing she has a smoking hot body, a nice rack, sweet ass, and it seems she likes to grind her ass on everyone and everything, and run around with no top on. So we dislike her why now? She can say and do any crazy shit she wants to, just keep showing off the T&A!
    All that said, bitch best not be peepin my phone y’all.

  20. TheListener

    Of course the crew had no problem leaving after a hand shake. They already had the topless money shots. Why would they need to stay?

  21. Paul

    Wow What a crap article the guy is a unionist so a member of protestant faith. Not a catholic as your idiotic article suggests. Why not get your facts right next time.

    • Farmer Dan

      Because Fish is American, poor chap doesn’t know what a fact is, but he runs a good site!

    • Amy

      technically he could be a Unionist and a Catholic, there is a lot of assumptions going on with and attached to this article

  22. Dude of Dudes

    Banging sheep: Acceptable.

  23. Rihanna Topless
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She always keeps it classy.

  24. Elle

    She must have been wearing her “cunt” necklace.

  25. naano

    i’m just kinda confused how rihanna has mad T+A and yet she appears to be square from the front

  26. Oogidyboogidy

    “A greater god?” Ok, where’s Odin? What’s his stance on scantily dressed ladies?

  27. Rihanna Topless
    Ben Dover
    Commented on this photo:


  28. Robert

    You are a complete idiot american the farmer is a protestant DUP counsellor which means he’s British get your fucking facts straight

  29. Rihanna Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    You just know his son came home after school to be told what happened, at which point he just looked at his dad with a slack jaw and then started banging his head off the table while groaning.

  30. Rihanna Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Go figure that the pap photographer messes up the money shots!

  31. anonymous

    bitch tries way too hard to be sexy. it’s about time someone told her cut that shit out.

  32. FreshFacedRecuit

    Paul and Robert must be new to the internet. The order of truthiness is thus: 4chan > Wikipedia > The Superficial > > >

  33. Kevin

    “DUP Alderman Alan Graham ” as quoted by BBC. He’s a protestant alright and a unionist to boot. Which means he is more of a puritan that the crack pot religious weirdos we have in government in the US. Live and let live mate Me Graham; they are just a pair of tits.

    Superficial try and get your facts right. This man could not be further from an irish catholic. Not that those fukking religious weirdos are any better.

  34. Helen

    Could you not insult the entire country … condescending American moron! Go and learn some history before making broad statements like that. Ignorance sucks

  35. Stephen from Belfast

    You ignorant,narrow minded, uneducated arrogant prick.

  36. Rihanna Topless
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Ma, I’m gonna go work out in the field. I see a nice spot to lay my seed in.

  37. Rihanna Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    Do they look better if I do this?

  38. Rihanna Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    The dangers of wearing a tube-top. She’s pulling up that bra in so many of these pictures, this is where she just gave up altogether.

  39. Rihanna Topless
    Commented on this photo:

    down with religion :)

  40. TomFrank

    Wow, who knew you had so many Irish readers, Fish? I guess you’d better mollify them tomorrow with some Pippa Middleton butt-shots. Oh, wait, it’s the Dutch who go for that. Let’s see…more Michael Fassbender? Start a rumor about Liam Neeson giving Sinéad O’Connor “the difficult brown”? Upskirt shots of Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter films? (She’s Irish and she’s 20 now, so it’s cool.) That’s the best I can come up with.

  41. beebee


    bangor is in wales.

  42. beebee


  43. Rien

    @lucy928: there’s always reason to bring it up. As far as i’m concerned, everyone should talk about nothing else until the sheep that follow and support that ridiculous abomination are forced to do something about it just to shut us up.

  44. Rihanna Topless
    biff boof
    Commented on this photo:


  45. Rihanna Topless
    King Billy
    Commented on this photo:

    She was in Northern Ireland – Not Ireland (two separate countries)……..Lets get things right here!

    Would still smash her back doors in

    Protestant Billy In Belfast…..

  46. Bob

    The article explains the famer is part of the DUP

    Based on his policical background It is highly unlikely he would be anything other than Protestant. He probably calls himself “British” or possibly “Nothern Irish” but not Irish.

  47. Chris Brown

    A Rihanna story saying the Irish think it is okay to punch women in the face? How is Chris Brown still selling records?

  48. Gene

    From the looks of it, it is quite simple. He did not agree with semi-public nudity and therefore requested that it not go on on HIS property. Sounds perfectly fair to me.

  49. Mayara

    Rihanna = hollywood whore

  50. dave

    Another review by a d**k who has never been in ireland!

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