Rihanna Being The Rihanna Miley Cyrus Can Never Possibly Be

October 3rd, 2013 // 45 Comments

Because everyone and their brother released a video yesterday, here’s the official version of Rihanna‘s “Pour It Up.” Or as it will more affectionately be known as, “Get Your White Girl Ass Up On Outta Here, Miley Cyrus” because it’s never not fun talking like a sassy black woman. That’s how homosexuality got started.

 

And here’s the audition tape for the stripper played by Nicole “The Pole” Williams because why would you even question this being here? (h/t Amy Grindhouse):

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  1. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Nasty. She looks like the black drag queens that roam the French Quarter in Nawlins at 4 am.

  2. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “IT’S A MANNN, BABY!”

  3. Hey George, Watch Out!

    Another ugly as fuck american apparel model. Thanks, Fixh.

  4. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    CaribbeanLMo
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry I’m a Rihanna fan but in this pic she looks like something coming out of the primordial ooze. And it’s not good.

  5. mk

    Samuel L Jackson in drag?

  6. breonam6

    Not the Rihanna I used to listen to!!!

  7. j-sin

    She looks fine as fuck. Think i watched this like 80 or 100 times.

  8. So is this Rihanna’s Public Service Announcement encouraging young girls to pole dance and give lap dances….or did I get it wrong?

  9. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Co.
    Commented on this photo:

    dirty shit

  10. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Co.
    Commented on this photo:

    ugly prostitute with little ugly tits and deep throat !

  11. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Co.
    Commented on this photo:

    close your damn legs please and shut that dirty stinky tunnel for god’s sake , biitch

  12. Good god this is the shittiest music ever. She’s great looking, but her voice is crap and her “music” is garbage.

  13. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Commented on this photo:

    And that my friends is why you never buy a used throne.

  14. Also, we are about 3 years away from Music videos becoming 5 minute porn vids. The music style and choreography are all moving straight in that direction.So hang tight everyone and you might see Miley Cyrus just banging a guy with a shitty soundtrack in the background.

  15. Pretty sad that these top women singers have to degrade themselves like this, stopping to the level of shitty strippers to sell their music. This gives me a lot more respect for women like Arianna Grande and Taylor Swift.

    • Becca

      I agree with you, except about respecting Taylor Swift. Many people feel she’s a better role model for girls because she doesn’t dress “slutty” or dance provocatively. However, she’s still a poor role model because her main message is, “Boys and relationships are EVERYTHING. Having a boyfriend is the best thing ever, and breaking up with someone is life-ruining. But remember, if you break up with a guy, it’s completely valid. If he breaks up with you, it’s because he’s a horrible, selfish, cheating meanface (don’t swear!) who will never appreciate your mediocrity and will die alone. Also, publicly degrading him is completely acceptable.”
      I would never let any of my daughters listen to anyone like Swift.

  16. Cock Dr

    I feel the need to take a shower now. The emphasis on cash & luxury designer accesories is a bit disturbing.
    Lousy song. I guess it needs this type of visuals to keep a person awake during play.

  17. rican

    Now it makes sense why she got beat up.

  18. Bonky

    I love porn as much as the next filthy bastard, but these bitches got to slow it down. All these young women are trying to out-whore each other and that’s just sad. Leave the crazy sex shit to the pro’s and just make regular music videos. You can be sexy and not do shit that makes it embarrassing to watch a video with your family.

  19. Wow…. Rihanna’s mother must be so proud of her right now.
    Stay classy, Rihanna…

  20. oh i know

    yikes, don’t care for the song or the video BUT I have to give props to Nicole “the pole” in her audition tape– she knows her stuff!!

  21. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Commented on this photo:

    Both her and Miley need to put their shit away. It’s tired. I know you boys like to see it all, but, whatever happened to a little mystery ffs? Disgusting.

  22. Her ass doesn’t look sooo much better than Miley Cyrus. It’s probably a little less flabby and tigther but Miley’s isnt that horrible to begin with. The post makes it seem like Rihannas ass is so much bigger.

  23. I’m so confused. This is like Viagra and an advertisement against reproduction all at once.

  24. That pole artist’s audition tape was amazing. I have a lot of respect for that sort of physical agility.

  25. Nigga high as fuck.

  26. OK, I’m with the Republicans now. Time to get the women back in the kitchen. They had their shot and blew it.

  27. I’m hoping that one of these days pole dancing will become an Olympic sport. Just imagine the qualification rounds prior to the actual games…

  28. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Ginger Failed
    Commented on this photo:

    I appreciate the nod to realism in the form of tan lines…

  29. me

    When did they start making mini-porns for b tracks?

  30. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever since this bitch got brave enough to leave Chris “Beat me’ down” Brown, it’s like she’s gotten more trashier and sluttier with her shit. I wish this musty attention starved ho would join hands with Miley Cyrus and jump off the highest bridge they can fucking find.

  31. Audition video was way, way better than the actual music video.

  32. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Allion
    Commented on this photo:

    The fucking ape.

  33. Rihanna Naked Stripping Pour It Up Music Video
    Commented on this photo:

    For some reason I can see Conan the Barbarian just about to move into shot here.

  34. carl

    what’s left? I guess very soon the only thing left to show us is their anus.

  35. gigi

    I was just waiting for somebody to start actually singing… she basically ‘talk’s all her songs I guess…. feh

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