Rihanna is Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive. Also, Naked.

October 11th, 2011 // 137 Comments

Here’s Rihanna posing nude for the November issue of Esquire where she’s earned the coveted title of Sexiest Woman Alive 2011. And while they don’t specifically spell it out in the interview, just assume it’s because of the 24-hour butt sex jamboree/Barbadian rum mixer. Esquire’s fancy like that.

Photos: Russell James/Esquire, Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.


  1. Mr. Poop

    looks like a hunk of poo…right down to the specs of green

  2. DKNY

    She’s gross. She’s not attractive, and she’s extremely whorish. That doesn’t make you sexy in any way at all.

  3. Mee Mee

    Rhianna…really people?

  4. Cock Dr

    She has beautiful eyes and seems very much uninhibited. I kinda enjoy watching Rihanna’s semi-nude world tour.
    After outraging the Irish may I suggest a visit to Saudi Arabia?

  5. it had to be said

    Esquire needs to get out more. I saw three women sexier than Rihanna getting on the train this morning.

  6. Rihanna Bikini Stage Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL at the blonde in the backround…

  7. XFX

    WTF? I mean she’s attractive but sexiest woman alive? Not even remotely kind of not exceedingly far.

  8. Rupert Giles

    I have a problem with her eyebrows. Not the eyebrows themselves but the brow ridge. Its like her dad was Richard Kiel…check out that cro-magnon brow.

    Rihanna’s dad

  9. skunk


  10. Rupert Giles

    Okay, so html appears to be turned off….

    Rihanna’s dad: http://tinyurl.com/3thh8kp

  11. Richard McBeef

    smart move covering up the bulbous six-head with greasy locks of jheri curl.

  12. Rihanna Nude
    Motorboat Captain
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody help me out here – what’s the appeal?

  13. anonymoose

    Isn’t that a typo? Don’t they mean stupidest woman alive?

  14. one of the sluttiest looking, sure. sexiest? not by a longshot. gays really don’t know how to evaluate women do they.. :P

  15. Jiminy Cryptic

    Looks like she just crawled out of a dumpster.

  16. anonymoose

    How much did her publicist pay to get her placed at the top of Esquire’s list?
    She is revolting, and is an embarrassment to the gender.

  17. Dave Mustaine

    Really? An “Alien Head” is considered the sexiest woman alive? Not by a long shot!

  18. this chick isn’t even a little bit attractive.
    she has the face of an overgrown fetus!

  19. black

    she is black that is not sexy how about milla kunas i would hit that

  20. not even in the top 50. Hell, 50 year old Liz Hurley is about 5 times as hot.

    • Erin

      i agree, or sharon stone or pretty much any actress in hollywood. terrible choice. really bottom of the barrel.

  21. lolz

    It looks like she needs her next fix. Not sexy, not hot, not beautiful. Just Uggggggggggh.

  22. Frank Burns

    Not surprising, the girl can really fill out a bikini, without surgery, and without feeling self-conscious about it all the time.

  23. anonymoose

    What’s with the grease and the green slime on the cover? Is that “sexy,” too?

    Man, Esquire could have picked someone with talent, humor, skills, a brain, wit, moderately attractive…like Betty White. What a disservice they have done to the real sexiest woman alive: Kate Beckinsale.

    I bet Jada Pinkett is maaaaad about this.

    • Austin "Danger" Powers

      Yeah but Jada is a no talent, man-looking sour puss so who gives a shit what she thinks? AMIRITE?

    • kimmykimkim

      Betty White on the cover of Esquire would be tits! Let me rephrase – would be awesome! But Esquire is too serious for that I’m sure. So instead they picked a water buffalo. Eh, whatever puts food on the table, I guess.

  24. Well at least they do offer watches, politics & sake…

  25. Deacon Jones

    Considering Esquire is written by either gay men or feminists, listening to them about who is the “sexiest” woman alive is like taking advice from them on who to pick in the NFL suicide pool I’m in.

    • Same applies to People magazine. These people don’t know shit about “beautiful” or “sexy”. Hell, Courtney Jailbait is better looking than this POS and for that matter so is Pippa’s ass.

  26. Bringbackbabalu

    Wow, she looks as ugly and apely as ever. Wow is she ugly, I don’t get this.

  27. Rihanna Nude
    Commented on this photo:

    This is such an unappealing photo. I blame the photographer.

  28. OnTheRealThough

    love rihanna but that video was trash

  29. Meth Head

    I’ve seen her at the local safe house, it’s clear she went straight to the shoot after a week long binge.

    Glad to see her representin’.

  30. Kevin

    Slutty is the new sexy aparently. Women, next time you are called slutty it’s actually a compliment…

    • anonymoose

      skeezy. a marked woman. skank.
      like lindsay loho.
      Esquire obviously has that green paste over its eyes and can’t tell sexy from skeezy from stupid from sludge.
      I wish they would stop encouraging rihanna. if we stop looking maybe she’ll go away.

  31. Buddy the Elf

    She isn’t even top 50, sorry.
    She is trash and tried much too hard. Yuck

  32. Rihanna Nude
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not a gun pointed at her tit, that’s the inflation tube that you blow in to fill them up.

  33. forrest gump

    in europe she should be black but in the states for promotion & racist reasons they photoshopped it to a white skin.

  34. MJB

    I guess out of all the pop tarts (Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Ke$hit, et al.), Rihanna is the prettiest. But the sexiest woman alive? Someone who makes vapid disposable music dressed like a $20 dollar hooker on Halloween?
    Yeah Esquire, good call. *rolls eyes*

  35. Freebie

    I guess if you take off your clothes nowadays, you are considered sexy.

  36. Scott

    That’s not a gun tattoo pointed at her tit, that’s the inflation tube that you blow in to fill them up.

  37. Drew

    As someone that loves girls that appear to be easy (who likes to work for pussy?), she’s gross.

  38. Mandy

    What’s with the green duct tape? I guess they were going for some kind of “jungle” theme, but it looks stupid with just two random pieces on her body.

  39. fatlip

    Will someone please explain to me what’s going on with her lower lip? I have big lips too and mine have none of that crooked underlip puffiness going on…

  40. imabrat

    This is laughable; if this is the sexiest woman alive, the human race is in trouble.

  41. Umm


    ….they were being sarcastic, right?

  42. Mr Obvious


    I mean I wouldn’t kick her out of bed but there are sexier celebrities.

  43. SSHGuru

    I’d rather have sex with a horse. By horse I mean Sara Jessica Parker.

  44. EsquireSucks

    Puke. Bitch is not attractive.

  45. Not buying what Esquire or Rihanna is selling. God, I literally see 100′s of gorgeous women a day who would put this five headed skankaroo to shame.

  46. Venom

    Clearly the people at Esquire have never seen a photo of Selena Gomez or even Victoria Justice, Cheryl Cole, Mila Kunis, Nina Dobrev….and the list goes on and on.

  47. Somehow, Rhianna naked and covered in dumpster garbage neither shocks nor surprises me.

  48. Lydia

    Rihana is ugly and soo not talented. Thi sis why I stopped reading magizines as it seems like the people who write for them seem to be on the weirdest drugs

  49. Bleh

    No thanks! This woman is not attractive.

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