While attending the press conference for Battleship in London today (above), Rihanna shot down rumors that she’s dating Ashton Kutcher and was actually pretty pissed someone even asked her about it because it’s not like she was spotted leaving his house at 4 a.m. and no one believes she’s stupid enough to fuck Chris Brown again. E! News reports:
“Wow, how disappointing was that question,” she said. “I’m happy and I’m single, if that’s what you’re really asking.”
Wow. I guess the lesson here is don’t believe everything you read in the tabloids, and always look at the facts. Which is how I figured out Rihanna is clearly dating Brooklyn Decker. They’re standing right next to each other! Also, if I close my eyes, I can see them washing each others jugs in a hot tub. They’re not even trying to hide it.