Rihanna Denies Dating Ashton Kutcher, Kind Of Pissed You’d Even Ask

March 28th, 2012 // 40 Comments
Late Night Rendezvous
Rihanna Spotted Leaving Ashton's House At 4 a.m. Read More »

While attending the press conference for Battleship in London today (above), Rihanna shot down rumors that she’s dating Ashton Kutcher and was actually pretty pissed someone even asked her about it because it’s not like she was spotted leaving his house at 4 a.m. and no one believes she’s stupid enough to fuck Chris Brown again. E! News reports:

“Wow, how disappointing was that question,” she said. “I’m happy and I’m single, if that’s what you’re really asking.”

Wow. I guess the lesson here is don’t believe everything you read in the tabloids, and always look at the facts. Which is how I figured out Rihanna is clearly dating Brooklyn Decker. They’re standing right next to each other! Also, if I close my eyes, I can see them washing each others jugs in a hot tub. They’re not even trying to hide it.

Photos: Getty


  1. Cunninghan

    Let’s not all get violent, okay please?

  2. Motorboat Captain

    I had a brainfart and read the headline as “Rihanna Denies Dating Shatner.” We should get that rumor started.

  3. Cock Dr

    “no one believes she’s stupid enough to fuck Chris Brown again.”
    *waves arms in the air* Right over here Sir Blogger. That girl’s dumber than my breakfast toast….she fucked him, more than once, and plans to do it again.

  4. EricLr

    OMG, you mean there’s a DOWNSIDE to fame?!?!?

  5. hmna

    Why, oh, why does the “standing right next to each other” hyperlink take me to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber?!?!

    I’ve been Biebs-rolled.

  6. JC

    Why get all pissed off about that question? I can think of worse. Perhaps, “Why were you retarded enough to collaborate with the dude who beat the shit out of you?”

  7. She’s not dating him, he’s just sinking his battleship in her.

  8. Dramatic Puddle

    She’s happy and she’s single? Translation: She’s a ho bag and will continue to give Olivia Wilde a run for her money to win the 2010 – 2020 Whore of the Decade award. I don’t know why either one is famous; Rihanna is an auto-tuned drone and Wilde is a wooden actress, but they’re having their 15 minutes, and so the rest of us must endure the rapid-fire accounts of the army guys they’re spreading their legs for. Such is fame, huh?

  9. Richard McBeef

    it seriously kills me to say this. it kills me. but ok, here goes:

    Ashton is out of that skank’s league.

    There I said it and honestly, fuck you, i feel better now.

  10. Rihanna Brooklyn Decker Battleship
    Commented on this photo:

    that is a HOT ASS

  11. Rihanna Brooklyn Decker Battleship
    Commented on this photo:

    This was from a photocall for Battleship? All I take away from this picture is that Goldie Hawn wigs are coming back in style.

  12. Rihanna Brooklyn Decker Battleship
    Commented on this photo:

    Rihanna was amazing in this she should win an award.

  13. This guy

    Rihanna is gross!!! She is not even a tiny bit attractive.

  14. Apparently she’s working with the Ghostbusters and has seen things that will turn you white!

  15. Schmidtler

    wow, a movie about the game ‘battleship’? wtf, even stuck inside on a rainy day in the 1970′s that was about the most boring shit you could do with your time was play that dumbass game. When does ‘Checkers 3-D’ hit theaters? how about ‘tic tac toe, the movie’?
    and where’s the pics of Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker in a hot tub washing each others jugs? couldn’t fish at least provide us with an artist’s rendering in lieu of actual photos?

  16. Rihanna Brooklyn Decker Battleship
    Cardinal Fang
    Commented on this photo:

    Wil Smith in a blonde wig with friend.

  17. Rihanna Brooklyn Decker Battleship
    Commented on this photo:

    Her forehead is 10 inches long.

  18. electricgrl

    This rumor has to be true, don’t you guys remember when Kelso dated Hyde’s black sister??

  19. lawn

    Wait a minute. Isn’t she supposed to be black?

  20. ManTooth

    Ashton isn’t big enough to handle the Rihanna slip and slide.

  21. Remember Kutchie, 48% of black females have herpes 2. http://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/hsv2pressrelease.html

  22. [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/28/Janice-MuppetsTV-300_340.png[/img]

    totally looks like Janice.

  23. Mittens Santorum

    Of course she’s upset, how dare people question her decision-making skills when it comes to romantic partners! I mean really, its not like she went back to some dude who kicked the crap out of her or something.

  24. El Jefe

    So this is what she gets upset about? Not the not people thinking she went back to the psycho woman beater, but Ashton Kutcher?

  25. Dick

    The Reese Witherspoon look only looks good on Reese. This chick just cheapens that. No one believes you look like that for a second.

  26. Rihanna Brooklyn Decker Battleship
    Commented on this photo:

    With claws like that, I woulda scratched up Chris Brown’s face!

  27. Rihanna Brooklyn Decker Battleship
    Commented on this photo:

    What a plastic looking phony.

  28. Lulu

    So apparently Rihanna is white now and has Goldie Hawn’s hair.

  29. Louis

    She is so seriously over rated, but at least her spam has its own area code.

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