Rihanna Puts Curse On Chris Brown Haters,
Has A Penis

February 20th, 2012 // 116 Comments
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On Friday, Billboard posted an open letter to Rihanna explaining to her that she’s sending a pretty shitty message to female fans by essentially letting Chris Brown off the hook by allowing rumors about them getting back together run rampant and featuring him on her next single. What follows is Rihanna’s response on Twitter which may or may not just be a huju curse on America for failing to properly honor the spirits via butt sex parades which is something we should probably hear her out on on. I have similar concerns:

Go head talk shit…its all in da paper!!! Lemme grab my dick while ya sit on top!!!

Chiefin’ while ppl spend hrs on letters… *kanye shrug* #phuckit
Who Jah bless I say NO MAN CURSE! Ting’s gettin better when they thought it would be worse
I’m so solid as a rock, they just can’t stop me now!

Of course, my favorite tweet was this one because I’m pretty sure it means one day Rihanna and I will meet, and she’ll rum hump me like a Newfoundland:

Fuck a blog dawg, cus one day we gon’ meet

In the meantime, Chris Brown’s girlfriend Karrueche Tran is apparently still with him and entirely cool with the Rihanna rumors because it’s not like she doesn’t know what will happen (Gracias, Tamara.) if she’s not cool with them. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Karrueche Tran tell TMZ she is unfazed by the recent rash of RiRi rumors. In fact, we’re told CB and KT are now actually living together.
As for CB showing up to Rihanna’s birthday party, we’re told that didn’t bother Karrueche either … because he came home to her that night and whisked her to Miami the next day to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

And speaking of Miami, I added pics below of Chris and Karrueche at the beach over the weekend where she spent her time wearing a tiny bikini prompting him to scream at seagulls, so now I’m almost embarrassed for suggesting their relationship was over. Everything looks healthy here.

“I can see my girlfriend’s titties. I’m gonna punch you, bird!” – Things Normal People Say

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Look bitch, if you want to offend someone you need to actually learn how to spell and construct an english sentence. Most of us can’t read ebonics or gang speak.

  2. karlito

    here we go again, another pop star with low self esteem and a deep desire to self destruct. “heh, i’m just a regular girl who can’t help but be attracted to a bad boy who beats me up and treats me like dog shit because he really wishes i was a guy so he could suck my dick and i could fuck him up the ass”. another one whose career will implode before their 30.

    • Carla

      Seriously, it makes me wonder if the rumors early in her career are true — that Jay Z screwed her while she was still underage and passed her around as a party favor.

  3. I would think it would take more effort to type like that than to just type properly. Poser.

    • Anon

      That’s what I always wonder. Like when I have, for whatever reason, some “friend” on Facebook who types ridiculous statuses like that. Do they actually think “dis” in their heads instead of “this” ? Is reading all that much harder, besides the obvious lack of brain activity, because they actually have to translate “da” to “the” in their head?

    • Carla

      For real, exactly what I was thinking.

    • Most people talk like that in Barbados, sadly, she probably thinks like that.

  4. MarkM

    It’s good to know the mentally retarded can still succeed in this country.

    • Spain made you slaves

      I get it now, if you don’t buy Rhianna’s music it’s because you’re racist. Got it, thanks for clearing that up. Awkward to notice you’ve forgiven Spain for making Africans slaves for 400 years while you’re being so moral.

    • Barbados became a British colony in 1627. And it was also the British that brought the African slaves over. The Spanish plundered it, but never claimed in as a colony. People from Spanish colonies are usually Spanish speaking- the official language of Barbados is English.

  5. Rooster

    bravo on the bulbous forehead blocking bangs, bitch.

    *alliteration provided by C. Stodden.

  6. Napoupi

    You can take the girl out of the ‘hood, but you can’t take the ‘hood out of the girl…

    • Lakeesha Renee

      You’re racist if you don’t like rihanna, you’re racist if you don’t for Obama.

      • Mitch

        You’re racist if you vote or Obama because he’s black, or mulatto anyway. You’re racist if you only listen to Rihanna because she’s black. You’re ignorant if you give your bastard children stupid names that will screw them later in life when they send out resumes to try to get a job. Oh wait, they won’t have resumes.

  7. Grand Dragon

    We white folks are screwed now. I’m sure tomorrow we will no longer own everything and be in charge of everything.

    • El Jefe

      Interesting, I did not realize that the Arabs and Chinese and other asians and Indians were now considered white people now….

      But yeah, you still own and control everything…

      • CranAppleSnapple

        God, humourless people are DEPRESSING.

        Also, trailing off like that…. is really fucking annoying. Perhaps you had no idea where you wanted those sentences to go.

    • SJ

      What exactly are you in charge of? I am not talking about other people in your race, but you as an individual. And by the way, have you ever seen a picture of the president?

      • DNA doesn't lie

        SJ The president of the United States is half white, sorry to inform you of what must be terrible news. If you’re living in the USA and think you’re black chances are you’re mostly white, don’t be sad you were just bred that way. Oopsie.

  8. if you’re reading this Rhianna, i want your asshole in my mouth! cause i care!

  9. grobpilot

    Love it when two girls mash their titties together.

  10. That Billboard open letter to Rhianna was condescending and backwards – the overall position was advising her to think and act not as she would, but as the author would. It’s not exactly the highest example of morality to advise someone to respond to injury with a resounding “Go F— Yourself”, especially in the context of advocating that response as a way to IMPROVE their message to their impressionable audience. Hilarious and sad at the same time. “If you want to be a good role model, you should treat your attacker with hatred, not forgiveness.” I guess it’s a radical repositioning of the Christian ideal……now to go read the open letter to Chris Brown…

    • Carla

      So much stupid, so little time. RhiRhi is not being asked to respond with “hatred,.” She’s being asked to respond like a self-respecting human being who doesn’t run back to her assaulter, one who bit her face, slammed her head against a windshield repeatedly, and left her for dead. Man or woman, you don’t have to be “hating” to know it’s all kinds of fucked up to want to cuddle up next to a psychopath who beat your ass stupid.

      • Carla

        Oh and I don’t recall Jesus telling his flock, “Thou shalt cuddle up to your pimp and be best friends with him after he busts your face with his mighty pimp hand.’

      • I guess they meant “Go F— Yourself” in a nice, loving way….

      • NY*NY

        exactly Carla –and the way Rihanna responds she sounds like she grew up in a trailer to respond to someone telling her to have some self respect to tell them something about a man curse and to “phuckit” she is such a piece of shit and so is he (Chris). They deserve each other but i wish they wouldn’t be role models for the dummies who look up to them!!!

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Jesus Christ. Oh yes Glassman, if the victim of a hateful assault is angry afterwards, that means there is something wrong with THEM.
      I’m with Carla, there is no time for people like you. Fuck off and die. And never have kids.

      • duder

        Yes, fuck off and die please. Or, or, stick with me here, eat shit and die. Either one is just great! Thanks!

    • Brooke

      Oh, Glassman, you are so lost… Read Carla’s wonderful response and try it again.

  11. Kiss My Ass Elmo

    Hey Fish, Where the fuck is the most important people on the internet?
    It’s Monday. I’m hung over. Kinda pissed. And now I’m let down. Don’t just sit there. Help me, you bastard!

    • Johnny P!

      Ditto.
      Last week just didn’t ‘end right’.

    • He put up a Facebook/Twitter post explaining that due to the holiday weekend, he and Photo Boy were going to get hammered rather than put TMIPOTI up. Frankly, given that excuse, I’m surprised they showed up for work today.

      • duder

        Ah, well, it makes sense why they wouldn’t put that info up on the fucking site to which it pertains. lol. Ah well. Did they post on FB why we can’t see boooobies anymore?

  12. Johnny P!

    Ebonics.
    Because the English language is so hard to master.

  13. Mandy

    I can’t understand anything.

    I don’t get her hair. She obviously just had it dyed, since we saw pretty recent pictures of her with the darker colour. Her roots are dark, but it doesn’t seem like it has been long enough for them to grow out. Does that mean she purposely didn’t dye the roots blonde? I don’t get it.

    • Krissy

      She purposedly dyed her hair that way. The first pictures of her after getting it dyed blonde had regrowth, so she had the colorist do it that way. She likes looking trashy, remember?

  14. Cock Dr

    Douchebag Brown misses her pegging, and Rihanna just don’t give a shit.
    That’s what I take away from her gobble-de-gook.

    • Snack pack

      Don’t care about Chris Brown at all (except that I’d really enjoy some truly shitty karma landing on him), and we clearly need to stop caring about RiRi. Neither of these two are worth anyone’s time.

  15. Having the shittiest Monday till I read my shoutout from Fish… thanks buddy ;)

  16. My kids are two and five, and they can babble and mumble at times. I’ll ask them, “What?”. If I still don’t understand, I’ll say, “Say again?”. And if I still don’t understand them, I’ll say, “That’s nice” and walk away.

    Moral of the story, Rihanna… if you have a point, express it coherently. If I barely care to figure out what my own kids say, how much effort do you think I’m going to waste on you, you cum-guzzling blight on the ass of society?

  17. El Jefe

    I think it is pretty safe to say that Rihanna is a complete idiot.
    She is 24 and her life is a complete mess and her career probably has about 5 years left in it at best. After that it is going to get real ugly.

    • Newtz

      Is it wrong to look forward to her stint on Celebrity Rehab?

      • Snack pack

        Yes, because they don’t actually rehab. I’d rather see these celebrities on some sort of Fear Factor/Wipeout/Amazing Race kinda show. Where they compete like hell for foodstamps or something.

  18. Wait now—that gibberish was Ghetto-ho-ese? Rats. Here I was, all warm and happy, because I thought she was talking about Jell-o Pudding Pops.

  19. Crabby Old Guy

    Later, Old Five Head went on to text: “And Lawdy Miss Scarlet, I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no babies!” It’s all part of her “Black History Month” one-women play.

  20. Newtz

    She should be glad someone is trying to intervene for her career, since she wants to throw it into the shitter. Oh yeah and If she is cursing white folks I hope it’s not to give us a five head like hers.

    • Carla

      Unfortunately I think she’s doing what she’s being told to do by her corporate overlords, who also own Chris Brown’s financial ass. They’ve sunk a lot of money in Brown’s cock-loving closeted ass and they’re desperate to recoup their investment. What better way to fight back the first-hand accounts of his cock love & bottom boy antics than telling RhiRhi to feed the rumors that she’s still doing him, after buying him two performances in the Grammies?

      • Carla

        So I hope more dudes who have ridden Chris Brown start talking. Fucking sad but true that to the demographic both he and RhiRhi are marketed to, beating a woman gives you street cred but being a homo gets your career in the crapper.

      • El Jefe

        That was an utter disgrace he was allowed to attend, perform and win a Grammy. I thought the Oscars were an embarrassment when they nominated Jonah Hill for an Oscar but the Grammys managed to top them.

      • Newts

        It’s not going to sell records though. You would think Jay-Z would try to protect his investment better.

  21. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    Fig Newton
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s looking a little hotter, but she still doesn’t make my penis erect. Just doesn’t do it for me.

  22. six head

    only Five Head? You can seriously see where her ego is; her head even made space for it. Ugly both inside and out. She should really go and stand back on her street corner now.

  23. marianna

    PEOPLE she doesnt say anything about white people, she says chiefin whILE people spend hours on letters. WHILE with an L. Chiefing is slang for smoking weed. So she is basically saying she is chilling and smoking weed while people are writing long ass letters, and im pretty sure she mentions kanye cuz he needs to chill with the long ass letter writing and just relax. thats not to say what she says is comprehensible but still people, read a little better and also chill out who cares. she is a young girl who is not responsible for the choices other young women make in life. think about when you were her age, did you have it all figured out and the ability to school and represent young women everywhere? thats not her job, her job is to sing and entertain and i honestly couldnt give less of a shit how she speaks or who she dates cuz im not gonna go ahead and speak or date like her. just cause shes famous doesnt make her life choices correct-in fact it probably inhibits most of her choices from being correct so we should stay even farther away from her as a role model. she is a fucking awesome performer and really thats all that matters. she just turned 23 today she is so young and she has all of you freaking out and even judging her language skills. im sure she can listen to all of you sing or dance for 5 minutes and judge you on that. everyone has different talents and i bet her talents supercede any of the ones you have since im sure she makes the most money out of any one of the people who have commented here. lets not dwell on things we really shouldnt care about. chilltime

    • marianna

      honestly some of you are so unnecessarily mean. its useless hatred like that that makes the world allow for behavior like chris brown’s. she is a beautiful young woman and even if she weren’t it doesn’t matter does it? i mean does it really affect your life? just let it go and don’t be SO mean and judgmental. objective observations stated in a not so derogatory way would be better. you guys get mad about how she speaks but you all curse so much more disgustingly in all of your comments. you pride yourselves on your spelling, grammar and vocabulary because its all you can show off with when commenting on a blog- but what you are saying is still uncalled for and completely lacking intellect and manner. gossip blog or not we are still human and for some reason we think its acceptable to vent in an animalistic way on the internet as if we are not actually interacting with other people.

    • El Jefe

      Paragraphs and spacing are your friends.

      And also

      TLDR

      • Carla

        El Jefe rules.

      • marianna

        i wasn’t preparing a formal document like I do every day for university. im sure it was too long for you to read since you probably haven’t picked up anything longer than a paragraph in a while to see if its worth it and then make judgements. i bet twitter is your BEST FWIEND

      • CranAppleSnapple

        I’m so sick of people saying we are judgmental about this topic. I can visualize the typist, sitting there nursing a black eye, fearful that they won’t get all the hand-towels in that neat little row before the King gets home.
        (No Elvis was maligned in that commentary.)

  24. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    skunk
    Commented on this photo:

    chiefin black bitch tryin to be blonde haired

  25. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    Tom
    Commented on this photo:

    For someone who is obviously racist and hates white people, she sure goes out of her way to look white yet tries extra hard to maintain control over her ebonics.

    What a douche.

  26. inka

    Can someone translate her tweets to me? I’m too white to understand them I guess…

  27. vekfan

    What’s the difference between rihanna and the twin towers ?

    The twin towers went down after one hit .

  28. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    Truk
    Commented on this photo:

    ANGRY INCH!!

  29. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    NOI
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she black anymore?

  30. Once a punching bag, always a punching bag.

  31. Herman Bumfudle

    hey beautiful mama!

  32. Wink

    Jesus. I can’t believe her handlers let this fucking mongoloid continue to speak publicly. I mean, Chris Brown just won a Grammy, so obviously retards will support your music no matter what you do, but white people are her demographic.

  33. Shway00

    funny how those white people are paying her bills.

  34. jules

    Oh man, look it. I’m going to make one more comment on these cursed pages and then I’m cut off, cold-turkey goddamnit.
    Whenever the world gets you down, and you feel like human society is a shitty, careless, stupid place to be, just remember these three things.
    Idiots say and do the darndest things, male or female, rich or poor, on blogs, in comments, in physical reality all the live-long day. It’s not a mystery. Secondly, in the words of John Connor and the Terminator:
    We’re not going to make it, are we? Humans I mean.
    And then the terminator goes, It is in your nature to destroy yourselves.
    And pursuant to that, in the words of that goddamn Billy Joel song my dad played every hour on the hour one summer – hey man, I didn’t start the fire, no, it’s been always burning, since the world’s been turning, and therefore, since I didn’t start the fire, and it’s always been burning, conflagrated by a bunch of idiots, it ain’t my fault, the gods must like it that way.
    However. I have to stop paying attention to what idiots are saying and doing. It’s fun, but it’s poison. I just accepted that. So I quit this site, and I quit tv, today, for good. Amen.

  35. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    ozmosis
    Commented on this photo:

    From this angle she has a rather bulbous head.

  36. It seems like Rihanna may have moved further along in the grieving process than many of the respondents in this thread. I guess that’s ok, but it speaks well of her that she appears to be beyond her anger. For those stuck there, good luck working it out.

    • duder

      True. She has moved beyond anger and completed the cycle back to being a victim. All right, sweetie: put your face back on the tee and I’ll grab the bat. Open wide, bitch!

      “Yes, daddy Brown!”

  37. NewGuy

    I want to stick my penis in her vagina.

  38. Asian Guy

    Who?

  39. Unbunga Muwanga

    She’s angry at the white man because Chris Brown tried to murder her, typical white girl.

  40. Mr Left eye

    As much as i don’t like rhianna because of her mental hair extensions, shit face and david guetta collaborations i do agree with the massive paragraph girl that the quote said while with an L and not white, so there is no racial abuse going on in my eyes. So lets stop this turf war with white vs black because its just gunna make us that tiny bit more cynical and racist towards each other and thats not how i want to celebrate my christmas.

  41. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    Clown Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    For a black chick, she’s pretty hot for a white girl.

  42. Marion DingleBarry

    Somebody needs to get her a room at the Beverly Hilton.

  43. the snowman

    you really have no idea how glad she is she can call people “N*ggers” now…………….
    (this white faker)

  44. Joaquin ingles

    Chris Brown needs to hit harder next time.

  45. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    Grace
    Commented on this photo:

    Crikey, she has to have the absolutely worst sense of style and grace. An absolute train wreck of bad fashion choices and hair decisions.

  46. puhleez

    Whatever Rihanna wants to do is none of anyone else’s business…no matter how dumb it looks

  47. Rihanna Cleavage Stella McCartney Special Presentation
    Sin
    Commented on this photo:

    Rhianna be sweating up a storm. Look at that dark sister in the background hating on Rhianna.

  48. Oogidyboogidy

    It’s funny that THIS is the IQ level of the dipshits who are currently occupying the airwaves.

    Remember when we had musicians who could not only speak like a grown-up, but were actually SMART? Didn’t matter how crazy they dressed…I mean man, Dee Snyder was one smart motherfucker in front of Congress…even Marilyn Manson surprised us all by being intelligent. Crap, even C. C. Deville surprised the hell out of me on Celebrity Jeopardy when he mopped the floor with everyone (despite sounding like he had taken a barbiturate cocktail before the show).

    And now? Rhitard’s street-speak basically says it all. No brains, no intelligence, no literacy.

    • angela

      Who gives a shit if musicians are smart or not. They’re here to entertain, nothing more. I would be far more worried if teachers had low IQ.

  49. angela

    Are white folks so paranoid that they really mistake the word ‘while’ with ‘white’ and rushed to make a blog post about it? Get a grip guys.

  50. toastandjam

    I like the pic of CB running from the bird. It must have been a male bird. If it was a female he would have punched it the face a few times, said he was sorry, gone on GMA, freaked out when asked about said bird, and then reconciled with it and cut a few songs on the birds new album. Remix of Hit Me Baby One More Time?

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