Rihanna Gets a Body Scan. Well Played, TSA. Well Played…

April 28th, 2011 // 52 Comments

Here’s Rihanna receiving a full body scan yesterday which I’m sure had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she’s an attractive young woman with great tits that people want to see naked. She was probably just talking with that accent of hers again. I bet it’s that.

TSA #1: Did she just say, mon?
TSA #2: Ma’am, we’re going to need to make sure your breasts aren’t terrorists.
RIHANNA: This is some bad juju…
TSA #1: Juju, she said, juju! TASERS TASERS TASERS!

Stop me if I’m ripping too heavily from the headlines. Or horribly misrepresenting the people of Barbados. (I should have her swigging rum, shouldn’t I? Dammit. Stupid ignorance, always making me look bad…)

Photos: Bauer-Griffin


  1. Turd Ferguson

    That Tupac headgear made them fearful the conspiracies were correct.

  2. robjh1

    Well considering we have seen almost all of her body, what’s sacred?

  3. Yea Baby

    That is some hot monkey meat right there my friends. No bra is like bonus points in the foreplay portion of the sex olympics.

    Now if only she had two black eyes that would be really hot. I like my women submissive.

  4. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but pats and screens excite me!”

  5. Yikers

    A few days ago I was able to take 26 hypodermic/subcutaneous needles on a plane and the TSA didn’t even ask to see my doctor’s note. Oh well. Thanks, TSA, for protecting us from these dangerous Rihanna’s and Miss USA’s and whatnot, though.

  6. Rihanna Body Scan
    Commented on this photo:

    Razorblade necklace. That’s a great idea for when you fly on a plane.

  7. Theresa Ruth Howard

    Just about a month ago I had the great “pleasure” of going through international security at JFK. When I was summoned forth I stepped into the contraption and assumed the position; hands above head legs apart, and just a moment later I was asked to pass through. I peeked at the monitor where I thought my image would appear, but the woman told me that is was not located there, but in another area of the airport. I have to say that I was kind of disappointed, I wanted to see what I looked like, I was having a thin day. The agent asked me to wait with her before gathering my belongings, “I have to wait until they clear you” she said with her hand on the walkie talkie attached to her shoulder. While I awaited clearance I decided to get as much information as possible. “How much does it show?” I asked, “Like do I need to suck in my stomach?” She laughed and said that it wasn’t that bad, and that’s all she said, then waved me on. As a collected and reassembled my belongings I couldn’t help but think, that at there are so many times during the day that I have to worry about my body, Now I thought I have to diet before I go to the airport so that my full body scan! http://mybodymyimage.com

  8. Rihanna Body Scan
    Commented on this photo:

    She smells fried chicken.

  9. Rihanna Body Scan
    Commented on this photo:

    ugly shoes…weird pants

  10. Rihanna Body Scan
    Commented on this photo:

    I find her strikingly beautiful.

  11. Rihanna Body Scan
    Commented on this photo:

    How the hell did she get that razor around her neck through?

  12. Rihanna Body Scan
    Commented on this photo:

    what in GODS NAME is she wearing? Jeez.

  13. neeto

    Every single gossip rag has some story today showcasing celebrities going through security and not complaining about having their perineum massaged or being radiated.

    I prefer the threat of terrorism to this crap anyday, thank-you very much. You are all lobotomized tools.

    Fuck the TSA.

  14. “Settle down boys, them’s fakers,” said Old Frisky to the blue-gloved posse.

  15. the captain


  16. jackychan

    she was a cute girl. she is a very interest dancing but that’s a crime a girl, that’s is a very dangers girls. the police rested the girl on th road in a New York

    • Jesus H. Christ

      Could you get any worse at formulating sentences? Who the fuck did you pay off to pass your english proficiency exam?

      Isn’t there some Chinese fecal fetish site you should be reading/commenting on? Or is your Chinese just as bad as your English?

      Go home Jacky, us American’s have enough problems with abortions without having Chinese immigrants dumping the contents of female fetus’s from backroom abortions out on the street.

      Btw, have a nice day.

  17. Herman Bumfudle

    uuumm. delicious.

  18. Jack King

    I invented a brand new body scanner I can use on her. It’s in my tongue.

  19. Rihanna Body Scan
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m wondering how many days it will take before NAKED BODY SCANNER PHOTOS OF Rhianna shows up on the internet. Some fat, greasy pedophile TSA agent will download them from the airport naked body scanner, sell them on the internet along with naked pictures of 6 year old boys and girls. Then the media will say how wonderful naked body scanners are and how wonderful TSA agents are and that no matter what happens, TSA is god and we must accept this tyranny to keep us all save from Osama Bin Elvis who lives in a cave.

  20. Rihanna Body Scan
    Commented on this photo:

    “…Osama Bin Elvis who lives in a cave”.

    Not any more!

  21. meany

    I’d scan her with my slim jim.

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