Rihanna Should Never Leave Barbados
Here’s a still-swimwear clad Rihanna in Barbados over the weekend where she also performed for her homeland and continued to convince me that bending over suggestively is how these people say, “Hello.” So thanks to America’s credit being downgraded because one half of our political system has decided to demonstrate to the world just how phenomenally fucked we are – “Hey, look, a major political party purposefully making government fail so they can turn around and say it doesn’t work. This’ll work great!” – I’ve decided to move to this drunken, magical, butt sex wonderland. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll blend seamlessly into their island culture.
ME: Good evening, dawg. One light beer and a water with lemon please.
BARTENDER: … OUTSIDER! OUTSIDER! FEED HIM TO DA KRAKEN!