Rihanna In A Bikini Isn’t Politics

By: The Superficial / July 18, 2012

They won’t teach you this one in journalism school because it’s dangerous in the hands of a novice, and I will sue them for stealing my invention, but it’s always a good idea to follow a polarizing story with bikini photos to pacify the portion of your audience that hates thinking and just wants a boner. After Watergate, Woodward and Bernstein suggested a similar approach to the Washington Post but their ideas were deemed “too mindfuckingly awesome and radical” for their time along with not being fair to the other papers. That said, keen observers will note Rihanna is black like our current president who clearly forced me to do this post before he rewrote The Hobbit so all the dragons are Mormon. The dude’s messed up.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Splash News, WENN