Rihanna In A Bikini Isn’t Politics

July 18th, 2012 // 37 Comments
Jurassic Park
Rihanna Topless Bikini Painted
Rihanna's Boobs Are Dinosaurs Read More »

They won’t teach you this one in journalism school because it’s dangerous in the hands of a novice, and I will sue them for stealing my invention, but it’s always a good idea to follow a polarizing story with bikini photos to pacify the portion of your audience that hates thinking and just wants a boner. After Watergate, Woodward and Bernstein suggested a similar approach to the Washington Post but their ideas were deemed “too mindfuckingly awesome and radical” for their time along with not being fair to the other papers. That said, keen observers will note Rihanna is black like our current president who clearly forced me to do this post before he rewrote The Hobbit so all the dragons are Mormon. The dude’s messed up.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    Give it a rest, you useless cow.

  2. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Gin&Tonic
    Commented on this photo:

    ah yes, the kissy pout face, I see rihanna has caught the benjamin button syndrome and reverted back to the age a 14 year old showing off her non-boobs on facebook

  3. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Her pics are better than the paparazzi’s. I hope you didn’t pay for these!

  4. Emma Watson's Vagina

    she does have a nice ass. but i have never jerked off to her.maybe that’s a sign i will have sex with her in real life. and all that saved sperm will shoot out of me like in the first Scary Movie with Anna Farris.

  5. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Cant she just overdose or accidentally impale herself on those stupid nails?

  6. Nice try, Comrade Superficial!

    Clearly RI-hanna is meant to make people think of RE-publicans. And Republichanna was beaten by a black man whose last name is even Brown, to make the Un-American connection even more obvious.

  7. virginia

    good grief she is so in love with herself, maybe if she went back to when she first came on the music scene I would take her seriously.

  8. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    neen
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a female friend? This has to be an assistant or a paid friend for the day.

  9. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    YoMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Girl Rule #1: Always sit next to a fug girl to make yourself look more attractive.

    Instagram and sepia tone don’t hurt either.

  10. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    I like these blurry shots because I can’t make out any tattoos.

  11. achilles wrath

    I’d prefer to discuss politics than look at this skank! lol

  12. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    YTBOY
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so freaking HOT!!!

  13. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    The Royal Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit that ass even if it had AIDS….I’d just wear a condom and hope for the best.

  14. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some classy broads she hangs out with…

  15. who is she

    She can really look trashy without even trying. What do guys see in her? She is ugly and cheap-looking. I think she already accepted the fact that people do not take her seriously anyway.

  16. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    no one loves rihanna as much as rihanna loves rihanna.

  17. Nope

    She’s making the duckface, which is the international sign for “I’m a complete dumbass & illiterate retard”…

  18. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    don’t know why i make myself look at her pics knowing that it’s just going to irritate the piss out of me.

  19. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Like a ducklips to water…

  20. Politics followed by tits. It’s the blogoshpere’s version of carrot and stick.

  21. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    SickOfMyOtherHandLe
    Commented on this photo:

    “ya come ‘ear an give mama a keyss”

  22. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    precious baby, I can’t get enough of her

  23. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Per-Øivind Skaarnes
    Commented on this photo:

    The bikini she is wearing is from Porto Br.

  24. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Per-Øivind Skaarnes
    Commented on this photo:

    A Norwegian- Brazilian brand

  25. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Per-Øivind Skaarnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Rio top and Sampa under in Green Palms print!

  26. Jawbone

    Just like Chris Brown, I’d hit that.

  27. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    shes attractive i like her older music but these days shes just so trashy, tries WAY too hard, and im over that robotic voice. its LAUGHABLE that she claims to be a size 0. not with that big ass….maybe on the moon.

  28. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:

    Celebs and air brush. It’s missing in this pic…lol. Looks at those spots on her legs.

  29. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Evangelista
    Commented on this photo:

    We get it Rhi Rhi, you’re pretty

  30. Athr

    I’m really tired of this very unattractive woman. Have I mentioned that her body isn’t particularly sexy and that she has no talent?

  31. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Laney
    Commented on this photo:

    look @ that Frankenstein forehead

  32. Rihanna Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I LOVE HER

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