So Rihanna Might Be Banging Ashton Kutcher

So Rihanna might be having sex with Ashton Kutcher now if I’m reading this extremely subtle TMZ report correctly:

According to the photographer, the “Birthday Cake” singer got to Ashton’s home right around midnight … and didn’t leave ’til roughly 4 AM.
As we previously reported, Justin Bieber recently checked out Ashton’s $10 million bachelor pad on his high-end real estate hunt … but we’re guessin’ Rihanna wasn’t there for an open house.

“We’re guessin’ she was there for some DICCCCKKK,” is what I’m assuming the next line was. On that note, it’s nice to see Rihanna finally banging men she can easily take in a fight. (Shameless plug: I bruise easily.) Seriously, one punch to his finely coifed hair and I guarantee Ashton Kutcher would start popping up open Cool Whip cans to lure Demi Moore back. The dude has the constitution of a pixie’s vagina.

Photos: Splash News