So Rihanna Might Be Banging Ashton Kutcher

March 22nd, 2012 // 26 Comments
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So Rihanna might be having sex with Ashton Kutcher now if I’m reading this extremely subtle TMZ report correctly:

According to the photographer, the “Birthday Cake” singer got to Ashton’s home right around midnight … and didn’t leave ’til roughly 4 AM.
As we previously reported, Justin Bieber recently checked out Ashton’s $10 million bachelor pad on his high-end real estate hunt … but we’re guessin’ Rihanna wasn’t there for an open house.

“We’re guessin’ she was there for some DICCCCKKK,” is what I’m assuming the next line was. On that note, it’s nice to see Rihanna finally banging men she can easily take in a fight. (Shameless plug: I bruise easily.) Seriously, one punch to his finely coifed hair and I guarantee Ashton Kutcher would start popping up open Cool Whip cans to lure Demi Moore back. The dude has the constitution of a pixie’s vagina.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Maybe they were just painting each others’ toes.

  2. You might as well just go with “So Rhianna is might be banging everything in sight”

  3. Bonky

    I must say that I have great respect for Rihanna’s insatiable freakiness.

  4. Rihanna Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Wasn’t she black at some point…? What the hell’s going on?

    • Realistic Dude

      She’s part black like most “african” americans. For actual black visit Africa.

      • Is she even a citizen of this country? She was born in Barbados and came here when she was 16; Barbados-American?

      • Hillbilly Hank

        Using you’re logic Charlize Theron is African American being born in Africa. However me being an expert on race residing in the south, I will tell you African American is just a way of saying black instead of colored or negro as previous.

      • AceDan

        Since Africa isn’t a race, CT has every bit a right to call herself African-American. More so than the blacks who call themselves that who have never stepped foot there.

  5. Lauren

    They’re both gonna need some antibiotics. I’m 100% sure Rihanna has Syphilis.

  6. coolio

    Why would anyone famous bang this?

  7. Wow! Who knew Ashton Kutcher threw punches? Color me surprised.

  8. El Jefe

    Ashton Kutcher and Rihanna, I am not quite sure what to make of this.
    He has no history of beating the shit out of women and she is not 45 years old so I have a hard time believing this could happen.

  9. it had to be said

    I feel like Kutcher probably punches like a little bitch, so I can only assume they skipped the foreplay.

  10. vekfan

    There’s no way he’d touch that skank,

  11. Da Cheese

    Ashton won’t beat her but probably beat off in her.

  12. she looks like aunt jemima fell into a vat of bleach

  13. oh, and i hope ashton kutcher gets raped with a 10 inch dildo

  14. Rihanna Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t get it. The handcuffs are sewn into the shell of the handbag? How do you get to them in case of an emergency? Y’know…an emergency that requires handcuffs.

  15. I’m betting this was an honest mistake. She was probably looking for Justin Bieber’s place.

    (Don’t hurt me)

  16. Herman Bumfudle

    hello! beautiful mama! lol! pink and blue, you should see what beyonce is wearing?!@ 1 + 1 have fun.

  17. jen

    wow, she has great taste in men.

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