Ricky Martin pulls a Clay Aiken who pulled a Michael Jackson who – you see where I’m going with this

August 20th, 2008 // 50 Comments

Ricky Martin is apparently the father of twin boys. Unmarried, ungirflriended Ricky Martin. Turns out he decided to rock the ol’ rent a uterus and had a surrogate mother deliver him a pair of sons. The AP reports:

“The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky’s full-time care,” said the statement. “Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children.”
A representative said there was no further information on the details of the children’s birth.

Ricky Martin, much like Clay Aiken, has been constantly plagued by rumors that he’s gay. And, much like Clay Aiken, he chose the absolute worst possible route to dispel those rumors. What did these two sit in a room together and spitball ideas on how to look straight?

RICKY: We could maybe make love to the strippers, no?
CLAY: I dunno if that’ll work, Ricky…
RICKY: How ’bout if we impregnate a woman?
CLAY: Wait… that’s it. We’ll impregnate women! But without touching their vaginas. My God, it’s perfect.
RICKY: Why would we not touch the vagina? What’s wrong with vagina?
CLAY: Christ, man, have you ever seen one before? I hear they not only have teeth but can look into a man’s soul.
RICKY: I’ll get the test tubes.

superficial

  1. Alex

    Chicks in bikinis ONLY, please. Preferably ones with normal sized feet.

  2. Hey! What tha…

  3. Ted from LA

    I heard both babies are living la viva loca.

  4. A vagina took five minutes from my life. And I want it back.

  5. bakinmycake

    “She bangs???…ewwww”

  6. veggi

    @3 – living la vida loca, dumbass

  7. gobats

    LOL fuck no, this shit is too funny!!!!

  8. Barak Obama

    The way I heard it was that Ricky tried to impregnate Clay.

  9. rough daddy

    you know! i never believe internet rumors till i see concrete proof! I guess mr shake your bon bons is a full fledge fag…which theres nothing wrong with that of course….why hide it!

  10. Crystal

    wow, where has he been, he is so hot! I really do hope he is not gay, that would be a waste.

  11. WhoCares!!

    Another FAG!!

  12. gobats

    Sorry honey hes gay; what person would do something so rediculously stupid like this when people are allready saying your a fag?

  13. haqikah

    Something not right about dude.

    http://www.NycCelebs.com

  14. britney's weave

    he used to be attractive–what happened?

  15. dont be rude

    First of all, it is totally unnecessary to use the F word – have some manners. Secondly – this blog is so damn hilarious! I about split my side laughing over all your aside notes. LOVE IT!

  16. Rose

    Wait@@@@!! I am just wondering if he is still a single? I saw his personal ad with many photos at a beautiful site named Richromances.com. He looks great over there.

  17. Ben

    Did you have to use the term, “spitball”?

  18. Turd Ferguson

    I have nothing wrong with gay people wanting children. Kids are cool.

    I feel sorry for people that believe the BS that Ricky, Clay and Tom’s handlers spin to keep their clients in the closet.

    In the end(no pun intended), as long as the kids are raised properly, who cares? I’d rather be raised by a rich gay guy(Madonna included) than a strung out crack addicted mom.

    Did I really ust type that????

  19. TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

  20. Angel0nline

    He still looks pretty hot to me! To bad he is so GAY!

  21. cock

    THIS GUY IS AN ASS!!!

  22. hello……………………………………HELLO……………………………………IS THIS AMERICA?

  23. A reader

    No podria ser que Ricky Martin no quiere complicarse la vida con una mujer y el matrimonio y decidio ser padre soltero?

    Naaaaaaa, yo estoy en negacion y no lo quiero aceptar, duele ver la realidad, es gay

  24. Effyeray

    This kinda crap needs to end asap. If you, for whatever reason are unable to have kids, tough shit. It;s nature saying: NO! Barren wombs, fags/ dikes, old bitches… you weren’t meant to procreate so don’t.

  25. The REAL BARELY

    In an effort to save time and streamline MY day I am paying someone to bang both my wife and my mistress. I can now turn my full attention to figuring out what the f*ck is wrong with a world that keeps perpetrating the myth that Spencer Pratt is somehow newsworthy in any way, shape, or form…

  26. The Swami

    If I had the money I’d do the same thing, and I’m not gay.

    If you are a guy who wants kids you basically have to go this route or get some woman pregnant. And she’ll probably want to be married as well.

    Given the high likelihood and astronomical cost of a divorce, once you total up alimony/palinomy and Child support, not to mention loosing half your shit, and realising you’ll only be able to see your kids once a week at most (assuming your ex hasn’t fabricated abuse charges) surrogacy is a pretty good option.

    I guess Ricky’s a lot smarter than I gave him credit for.

  27. jbl

    I guess he gave up trying. I didnt think he was gay, but that speaks volumes.
    And did anyone else notice he ls trying to look like Dane Cook.

    and #26, naah dude, you’re totally gay.
    #25, you too. You’re having people (me) bang your wife so you can think about Spencer Pratt

  28. Bigo

    Gays should have also been born sterile! … all this IVF is gonna do bad to the world, bringing children just because someone desperately wants a child… specially these celebrities whom I think are the worst parents of them all, they spoiled their children and that’s why they end up jailed for drink and driving

  29. The REAL BARELY

    jbl – Did she do that thing she does where after you’re done she yawns, rolls over, and farts…?

    ahhh yeah…that’s my girl…

  30. Trent Fournier

    RICKY: Why would we not touch the vagina? What’s wrong with vagina?
    CLAY: Christ, man, have you ever seen one before? I hear they not only have teeth but can look into a man’s soul.
    RICKY: Worse if I marry one, she’ll own my soul!

  31. Jakey

    Don’t know how to break this to you, but Ricky Martin doesn’t deny those rumors at all. Not much of a scoop.

  32. Jakey

    Don’t know how to break this to you, but Ricky Martin doesn’t deny those rumors at all. Not much of a scoop.

  33. Jakey

    Don’t know how to break this to you, but Ricky Martin doesn’t deny those rumors at all. Not much of a scoop.

  34. Jakey

    Wow, sorry for the triple post. I NO HOW TO USE THE COMPUTAR!

  35. mimi

    Ricky Martin was born gay. It’s the way God wants him to be.

    Now, let’s stop praying for Amy. God has predetermined everything, according to the bible.

    Thank You

  36. LaraCroftsmole

    Actually pretty hot, gay or pussylover, only too clear he keeps away from living in Hollyweird otherwise he’d turn in to a botoxed freakoid overnight a la Spencer Douchebag Pratt.

  37. Lux

    “out of the public spotlight”

    MWOUAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Seriously, who’s this guy?

  38. whitebeeeaaaaar

    he’s gay!!!! yaaaaaaaay, i’ve been waiting for this day for so long, so, if any of you sorry arses remember he had a gorgeus girlfirend for ages, which means he swings both ways, oh happy day! honeeeey…..

  39. jean

    Ricky’s surrogate is NOT going to share in childrearing with him. He may not have even known her before she was inseminated. She may not even been the biological mother. The eggs may have even come from an egg bank. My hair stylist had his son conceived that way. His sperm, egg bank eggs, close female friend as the surrogate. Surrogate no familial ties to the child. Ricky’s may have been a ‘business agreement’. Michael Jackson’s children are NOT his biologicially. No one will ever convince me that they are. Clay and Jaymes have had a very close relationship for years. Jaymes had 2 miscarriages during her 23-year marriage that ended in divorce. This ‘may’ have been the only way she could conceive-via IVF. Don’t know; just a maybe. Jaymes, most likely, was first to approach the idea of Clay fathering her child. I think Jaymes realized that Clay, at this time in her life, was the best choice. And I don’t doubt Clay will be the best father this child could have. I wish Ricky, Clay and Jaymes and their children only the best. But DO NOT compare Clay with Michael or Ricky. Besides, millions of heterosexual couples can only conceive by IVF, also. I have a gf who could only get pregnant via IVF, her mucus was killing off her husband’s sperm before they could reach their destination!! Twice they had IVF done and, lucky for them, it took the very first time, each time!!

  40. zoe

    I dont care, fuck – he´s hot

  41. Todd

    Here is the actual transcript:

    Ricky Martin: “Ew…vag are icky pants!”
    Clay Aiken: “Hells yeah.”

  42. Kayla

    Ricky has openly admitted he is gay. I am surprised people don’t know that.

    Clay has denied he is gay, and for good reason. He is not. I would NEVER have chosen this route for him to get a child, but I think he did it for Jaymes, who was desperate to be a mother, and had no hope of reaching her dream. Clay is her closest friend, and will definitely help raise the child, and do it beautifully. Still, I am surprised.

  43. clay aiken's mom is on here

    mrs. aiken, your son is gay, sorry. stop going on the internet making false posts.

  44. Australian

    My God, you Americans are homophobic!! Not to mention stupid!!

  45. peg jud

    That is what is wrong with America. The actions of people who are morally wrong in so many ways. God has everything to do with it. People wake up and understand this nation will not be blessed if we continue to sin against God. Homosexuality is a SIN AGAINST GOD and read your BIBLE to understand why it is and will be the downfall of our GREAT NATION!!!
    Men and women who have SINFUL LIFESTYLES and do not turn from their wickedness will suffer the punishment of an eternal life in hell.
    BE A FOLLOWER OF JESUS. He is way, the truth and the light against the darkness. I encourage you to pray or our decaying nation, before it is to late. Matthew 1:21 + Romans 5:8 God Bless

  46. peg jud

    That is what is wrong with America. The actions of people who are morally wrong in so many ways. God has everything to do with it. People wake up and understand this nation will not be blessed if we continue to sin against God. Homosexuality is a SIN AGAINST GOD and read your BIBLE to understand why it is and will be the downfall of our GREAT NATION!!!
    Men and women who have SINFUL LIFESTYLES and do not turn from their wickedness will suffer the punishment of an eternal life in hell.
    BE A FOLLOWER OF JESUS. He is way, the truth and the light against the darkness. I encourage you to pray or our decaying nation, before it is to late. Matthew 1:21 + Romans 5:8 God Bless

  47. Scorpio Man

    Hey peg jud, FYI, Jesus was gay. Who else in the world could be so compassionate toward straight dumb asses like you?

  48. peg jud

    Scorpio Man
    God loves the sinner not the sin. FYI-Jesus was a man of intergrity, love, compassion, forgiveness (he still is) and yes he had a GAY (happy, joyful) dispostion, but not one of HOMOSEXUALITY.
    I’m sure that is what your referring to.
    I encourage you to read Jeremiah 33:3, Call to me, and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. This will bring you the true identity of Jesus, if you only open your BIBLE and ask of him. He is waiting. Go in Peace my friend.

  49. matteroffact

    Fag Ricky is probably like most boys today that have limp dicks which means they are no longer males. What a shame…No VLC,etc. viagra,levitra,cialis,etc recovers manhood -it fled!

  50. Fags SUCK !

    I hope the SICK FAGGOT hurries up & gets Aids – What a Piece of QUEER SH*T !

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