Richard Simmons says Jessica Simpson is 268 pounds

February 19th, 2009 // 65 Comments

Richard Simmons understands Jessica Simpson is fat and, dammit, he wants to do something about it. But first he’s going to equate her with being a 268 pound behemoth. That should start the healing. Us Magazine reports:

“I was 268 pounds — I’ve been there,” the weight guru tells Entertainment Tonight.
“We eat for so many reasons,” Simmons says. “Most of the reasons are emotional.”
Us Weekly has reported Simpson packed on pounds because she’s insecure in her relationship with Tony Romo.
“We have to start liking ourselves more before we start taking better care of ourselves,” he goes on.
Simmons says “it’s just so tough to be exposed, and let people see you gain weight. I pray for all those celebrities who are having a really tough time,” he goes on.

So, basically Jessica Simpson eats because she’s insecure, but she’s insecure because she eats. You know how you break that cycle? Stripping. Let me lay it down for you:

1. It’s an immediate confidence builder. Otherwise, you become the shy dancer who doesn’t make any tips and ends up living behind the bowling alley with her cats. True story.
2. You can’t eat when you’re giving me a lap dance. Sure, I might let you have a bite of my chicken wings, but that comes out of your tip. I’m no Commie.

It’s post like this that make me wonder why I’m never invited on Oprah to empower women. It’s a shame, really.

superficial

  1. insecthero

    I’m not one to trash a girl just because her figure’s gone a bit, but those mom jeans sure as hell aren’t helping her any.

  2. lina

    #48 Kim

    you are mad because you are FAT. i can give you free pass at my GYM. come and loss that fat ass.

  3. oneelusivegal

    #4, you may be thin, but you are obviously illiterate. To quote “i heat fat fat people, i am thin”. Who gives a shit? What the hell is wrong with society that people “heat” other people because they are fat. I hate ignorant people. I hate mean people, I hate pedophiles, but I sure don’t hate anyone based on a physical attribute. Lina, grow a brain!!!

  4. Kim (not Kardashian)

    #52 lina

    you seem to be hung up on this whole fat thing. No where in any of my posts did i defend the fat jessica simpson, so i don’t know why you think i must be fat.

    Plus after reading your posts, i stand by my conclusion that you are mentally disabled, and fat.

  5. Kim (not Kardashian)

    #53. oneelusivegal

    You are correct about lina being illiterate. just look at the ongoing attack between the two of us. I don’t really think i’m going to resolve anything with this “person” hopefully I just piss them off a little.

  6. Curtis Overdrive

    I want to tap that even more now that she’s put on some weight… I love mopeds.

  7. omg, seriously! did you see jessica simpson a week after the “fat pictures” surfaced??? she looks great! all that was wrong that day was a bad styling job.

    www. provocativeremarks.com

  8. SomeGuyinCali

    Jessica Simpson is NOT EVEN 170 lbs. I’ve seen 170 lb people her size. I’d put her at 155 MAX. And, though she’s a bit chunkier, she NOT obese by any means. I like a woman with a little bit of meat on her bones.

  9. Sloppy Seconds

    Are you kidding? She looks adorable at this size. I would happily make hot sweet love to her, and then take her out for donuts afterwards.

  10. lina

    #53 and #54 you are both have fat ass that is way you are mad!
    i heat fat people.what you gonna do about it fat ass!!!

  11. kendra

    EVERYONE NEEDS TO LAY OFF EACH OTHER. I swear some ppl are so damn stupid. Don’t dwell on other ppls comments. ANYWAYZ~~Richard Simmons is dumb if he thinks she ways 260+ lbs. Maybe 160 tops. Leave her alone, so what if she gained weight. She is dating a ftbl player and she probably eats alot of chips and cheese dip. If you’ve ever gained a little weight then u know what its like. Just cuz shes famous doesn’t mean everybody and their momma can talk shit. Back of Jess! You go girly, EMBRACE YOUR CURVES AND ROCK YOUR UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. woj

    I’d still beat the stank off that shit. She aint fat whatsoever unless your talking PHAT.

  13. brittney laux

    MAN I LOT OF YOU PEOPLE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELFS!!!!!! IM 18 AND IM FAT AND I CAN AND I SAY IT SAY ALL THE TIME AND IM TRYING TO BE HEALTHLY AND IM LOSEING THE WEIGHT BUT DAM JESSICA ONLY LOOKED LIKE THAT CUZ OF WHAT SHE WAS WEARING AND HOW THEY EDITED THE PICTURE AND YOU ALSO GO TO REMEMBER SHE AIN TALL TALL SO THE FUCK WHAT SHE GAINED SOME WEIGHT BUT I THINK IT WAS MAD BULL SHIT THE WAS PEOPLE PUT HER DOWN AND HONESTLY ALOT OF OF YOU ARE JUST SO DAM JELIOUS BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM FAT BUT IM BEAUTIFUL WEATHER ANY OF THINK THAT FAT IS UGLY OR NOT ATRACTIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROW THE F*** UP PEOPLE

  14. I am glad that I lose my appetite when I am stressed or sad, because my kind of work can be stressful at times. People need to do something different when they are sad and eating as exercise walking or get a hobby.

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