No, Ric Flair Didn’t Bang Halle Berry

I’m going to start this by saying I have no clue what the fuck Ric Flair has been doing since I stopped paying attention to him when I was 11 and realized that professional wrestling is for morons. That said, he’s apparently got a podcast, because they give those away like pens now, where he claims he had sex with Halle Berry. He didn’t, but I guess we’re doing this anyway. Via TMZ:

The Nature Boy started a firestorm on the web this week when he proudly declared on the “Ric Flair Show” that he hooked up with Halle in Atlanta … right after she divorced David Justice.

More specifically, he mentioned her name when someone asked him if any celebrities ever “rode Space Mountain,” which I guess is his nickname for his dick, because there’s a good chance you’ll puke after being on it. Anyway, Halle Berry hasn’t personally responded but “her camp” has denied the claim so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if Ric Flair was getting his face beaten in with a baguette as we speak. So I’ll move on to my own evidence that I discovered that also proves that in no way did his penis get anywhere near her.

Exhibit A – Has looked like this in public once in his life.

Ric Flair Sweatstains

Exhibit B – Known association to monster face jackass.

Ric Flair Mickey Rourke

Exhibit C – Why would she go for this when Hulk Hogan’s Thermos penis theoretically existed at the time? C’mon.

Ric Flair Hulk Hogan

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