Return of The Most Important People On The Internet

By: The Superficial / May 10, 2014

As prophesied in the books of old, The Most Important People on The Internet has returned now that the FreckleTits have perished and Dem Babies have been offered as a sacrifice to the Terry of Uncles. Let us drink thirstily from its cup as it runneth over with jokes about Jon Hamm’s penis and quotes from Tim Burton’s Batman. Heil Baphomet, may he reign upon the land of cheese for a thousand years. (Did this put me on an Illuminati watch list yet? I made New Year’s Resolutions, dammit.)

EDIT: Almost forgot I had this gem marinating on the shelf:

Kate Middleton

“The beat spun back, and the song snapped again into its primal drum beat. Her body relaxed. She loved the feeling and thoughts the music drew forth. To have lived this long without knowing it shortened her breath, and for a moment, the sting of ignorance and captivity bit her heart. But today was here and limitless, as were all those that followed. The beat was hers to master, or perhaps it would master her. It didn’t matter. Once she slit the throat of the DJ with her queen’s blade for daring to touch the royal hand, she would take the music for her own.”

Said Gilberator on The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.23.14