Resistance To Alexander Skarsgard is Futile

June 12th, 2012 // 51 Comments

“Subject resembles KATE BOSWORTH. Initiate FORCED INTERCOURSE sequence. Beep boop bop.”

(Before everyone gets bent out of shape, a.) This. b.) There’s only one “victim” here and it’s that guy whose girlfriend is five seconds away from cheating on him right on top of his shoes. He’s the wounded gazelle.)

NOTE: It helps if you imagine this playing out of The Skarsgard’s chest as he stalks his prey.

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Stupid

    Who really cares about this guy.

  2. Deacon Jones

    Anyone else think True Blood’s premiere this SUnday was a fucking disaster? The whole episode seemed like it was on fast forward

  3. EricLr

    I don’t want to frighten everyone–but take out any picture of your girlfriend, look carefully in the background, and try not to panic.

  4. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    Throjo
    Commented on this photo:

    His rape assistants are looking especially rapey today.

  5. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    Soon to be heard, “HEY!!! HE’S RAPING ME!!!!” followed by “Heeyyyy, he’s raping me”

  6. Cock Dr

    It might be a good idea to get that girl a sandwich & a beer before the copulation process begins.

  7. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    Commented on this photo:

    Say goodbye to what used to be your vagina, lady.

  8. Lemmiwinks

    I don’t know if this is pertinent but Alex has copyrighted the phrase “Dancing With The Skars.”

  9. I don’t think she’s that guys’ girlfriend. I think they’re coming from watching Sweden lose to Ukraine in the Euro 2012, he’s Ukrainian, and he just won a bet.

  10. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    chrissie
    Commented on this photo:

    does anyone else think these 2 were together and being VERY careful about being seen that way? isn’t she the russian model from the Calvin Klein shoot…..

  11. Does the Skarrsgard effect work on other Swedes? I assume she is swedish since she is wearing a Swedish Football Association shirt.

    • MyRightOne

      Yes, yes it does. The Skarsgard Effect is in the early stages of study, and it has been observed to be impervious to demographic factors such as nationality or ethnicity. True fact.

  12. lol

    Sunday TB premiere needed more Askars. I thought is was good, but yeah, they really need to drop at least 5 story lines. And kill some characters off god dammit.

  13. dooood

    isn’t like 80-90% of all mating in the animal kingdom rape?
    sure when rothlisberger does it, we’re all pissed but when this guy does it every body swoons

  14. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    Commented on this photo:

    That chick is so fucking stupid! She cut her shorts so short that her pockets are hanging down. Blondes.

    • Veronika Larsson

      Well, at least that way it’s easy to know if she has holes in the pockets.

      And are you seriously objecting to a woman wearing short shorts? You are a heterosexual man, yeah?

      • kimmykimkim

        Veronika, don’t let your coochie swallow your coochie cutters over this. Have a sense of humor.

      • C’mon, kimmy. It took a lot of guts for Veronika to speak up on a soccer/football-related post the day after her country lost to Ukraine. Ukraine.

      • Veronika Larsson

        Buwahahaha…we LET Ukraine win, because it’s all their country has.

        Now be nice to us Swedes or we’ll cut off your supply of busty blondes and easily-assembled furniture.

        And we might even consider a Skarsgard embargo! But that’s our ultimate deterrent.

  15. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    Whit
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s Anne V, Adam Levine’s ex girlfriend.

    • INFO

      Anne V? LMAO… she wishes… that famewh@re who will try to sell herself to anybody to get press ;)
      No that’s Caroline Winbers, a way better looking girl and a Swedish supermodel.
      Anne V can go jump a cliff now, thank you.

  16. Kiki

    Yep, Whit’s right, that’s Anne V. She and ASkars are supposedly “dating”.

  17. Veronika Larsson

    The Force is strong in Alex: yes, it works on all us Swedish women.
    I would assume a tall blonde woman wearing a Swedish football shirt is Swedish, but you never know.

    Alexander, du är den sexigaste mannen!

  18. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    rape me, please.

  19. El Jefe

    She looks like Nikki Hilton.

  20. Frenchgal

    I dreamt of this man the other night, fuck I had to wake up, but I really really really want him to do whatever the fuck he wants to me. And this is comin’ from a proud backdoor vurgin !

  21. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    nisse
    Commented on this photo:

    no, that is caroline winberg, a swedish model (done victoria secret facshion show etc)

    http://www.supermodels.nl/carolinewinberg/pictures/1

  22. El Jefe

    I love reading the bullshit about this dude. Notice no women have actually ever come out and said he was amazing in bed, had a large blah blah blah or even seem interested in being with him long term?

    All show and no go.

  23. Superficial writer dude – You should so use the JAWS soundtrack for a Skarsgard post. It would be so good…like this girl is walking along and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3wGsVdAlnc

  24. gigi

    yikes… muscle tone anyone? she looks bulim-ish/ana-ish… Alex doesn’t want that… Swedish meat needs a nice soft warm home

    • She’s got the dream body for a pedophile. The only other way anyone would find this bitch attractive is if they had a crackhead fetish.

  25. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    instahater
    Commented on this photo:

    In every picture like this, there is a skarsgard lurking in the background, looking rapey.

  26. MyCoworkerIsHot

    He is so fucking fine. I have the dirtiest thoughts about him.

  27. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is Alexander staring at that young boy in the yellow shirt?…That’s beyond creepy!

    • INFO

      Alex is Bi… He is widely believed to be Nevis Devine Moniker.
      He likes both ways so he probably likes the guy too.

  28. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are the ugliest little-kid legs I’ve ever seen on an adult woman.

  29. locknload

    Ha, the music never fails to get me.

    Well done, SW. Well done.

    Okay, I tried to comment without saying something about how hot he is, but damn. It’s like impossible.

  30. Alexander Skarsgard Swedish Soccer Jersey
    Angie
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t like here so much in true blood. I men, she’s pretty and stuff but sohemow I imagined Sookie to look different. and without that huge gap between her front teeth.

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