Renee Zellweger is single

December 22nd, 2005 // 16 Comments

*renee_zellwegger_thumb1.jpgSome things are destined to come to an end. Youth. Life. My collection of Dustin Diamond nudie photos. And now we can add Renee Zellwegger and Kenny Chesney’s marriage to the list.

Their annulment was finalized by Los Angeles Superior Court this week. Despite a recent string of secret dinners fuelling speculation over a possible reunion, the couple are now officially separated. Sources say the couple’s split is amicable, despite Zellweger citing fraud as her reason for wishing to dissolve her marriage to the country star.

Once upon a time Renee Zellwegger was very attractive, in a girl-next-door kinda way. But then she started to melt. I have my doubts that she’ll be getting married again anytime soon. Having sex with her now would be like having sex with a bean-bag chair. But at least the bean bag chair doesn’t complain when I pee on it aftewards.


  1. hafaball

    She’s not melting, I think she’s just made of plastic. She’s always so shiny… :o Good actress though, melting and/or plastic or not.

  2. sedation

    fraud? can someone fill me in?

  3. Icequeen

    Fraud basically implies he portrayed himself to be something else than he actually was.

    HMMM what would that mean!?

  4. iamboredatwork

    I think she is beautiful and I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.

  5. DrDanny

    The last time I spoke with the happy couple, Renee admitted that she was in fact the same squinty-eyed ugly skank she’s always been, and that Kenny Cheezwhiz was “fraudulent” in the sense that he claimed to be a cowboy but is in reality a dyke in cow-drag.

    Let this put an end to all those nasty rumors about Kenny. He’s not gay, she’s just confused.

  6. MortyFishbein

    I’m willing to go with that, Dr. Danny. But Ms. Squinty Eye must’ve thought she was marrying Tim McGraw or Toby Keith. When she finally opened her eyes and took a good look, she realized what happened.

    She had married a country singer with the fashion sense of a twink at a Christopher Street cookout.

  7. emazing

    Y’know, we watched “Cinderella Man” the other night, with Russell Crowe (I want to say he’s an “amazing” actor…but then I would break my own rule about that overused idiotic word) but he IS SO GREAT, and I mean that……..and Renee acted JUST LIKE SHE DID WHEN SHE WAS PLAYING ROXIE in “Chicago”. I KNOW it wasn’t the same movie! There’s no singing or dancing in “Cinderella Man”! Nor is there any CATHERINE ZETA JONES, that gorgeous, talented woman! But EVERY SCENE RENEE was in, she acted like she was Roxie talking to Richard Gere’s BILLY FLYNN. Her range is………she has no range. Just that squeaky voiced, turn your head down and look up with what you wish were really sexy eyes, and squeak some dialogue. AND SHE WON AN OSCAR for playing a MOUNTAIN WOMAN for like TEN MINUTES in that movie “Cold Mountain”. She married Kenny “THAT FAG” Chesney. And she wanted to marry the TALENTED but GHOUL LIKE JACK WHITE. What-EVER is her deal? Guhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  8. ki

    Renee Zellweger has one of the most kickable faces I’ve ever seen. I’ve never done martial arts or pretty much any physical exertion beyond opening a twist-off cap on a bottle of Yoohoo, but when I see her squinty little fish face I feel the urge to leap up and roundhouse kick her in the grill.

  9. derekd

    I totally agree with the Super that in Jerry Maguire she was cute in a girl-next-door sort of way. Now I can’t get over the fact that she always has a face on that looks like she just sucked on a lemon. Anyways. 1 to 10. she’s a 6.

  10. Zanathon

    Judging by the expression on Renee’s face, I’m guessing that the ending of her marriage was bitter-sweet.


    Would it be fair then to say that her relationship with Kenny had soured?

  11. celebritywhore

    I like her. it’s sad when marriages don’t work out. just because she’s a celebrity doesn’t mean we have full rights and authority to shit on her.

  12. MrIcedivr

    As far as I’m concerned, the fact that she’s now single means that I’m back in the running. And I think my mom will love her.

  13. sadietolstoy

    What happened to Renee Zellweger? 5 years ago she was so cute, now she looks …not right. But I still like her.

  14. Kenna

    “Renee Zellweger is single”

    You’re kidding?! Frozen face and no man?!

  15. Kenna

    “Renee Zellweger is single”

    You’re kidding?! Frozen face and no man?!

  16. phm

    I hessitate to sign up to a site whose members are so full of vitriole, but it may be worth it just to tell you that you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

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