“That did it. That left the streak.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t that seal? That seal looks suspicious.”
When we last left Adrian Grenier‘s smelly wiener it was getting shot down by Nina Agdal. And now it’s the chapter of a whole book by reality star Courtney Robertson because they’re literally giving deals to anyone while I’m still here making jokes about Kim Kardashian‘s butt. *caresses bottle of scotch* You’re right, I don’t need their stupid book deals. I don’t need anybody… Post? What pos- oh, shit. E! News reports:
In the chapter entitled “Catwalking & Starf**king” Robertson remembers her days and nights frolicking around Hollywood with hot actors like Adrian Grenier.
According to the book, they met at an A-List mansion party; she writes that they bonded over a “mutual loneliness in LA,” yet she didn’t feel a spark. She did, however, feel a fondness for hooking up with him and claimed/bragged/overshared, “He had the biggest penis I’d ever seen—and the biggest bush!”
The TV personality claims they never had “actual sex” in the six years the Entourage star (Vincent Chase)d her and he is still in hot pursuit, booty-call texting her to this day. According to the book, the last time her wrote her, he asked, “Are you still on that show?”
So, basically, Courtney Robertson saw Adrian Grenier’s naked penis and went, “Nope, that thing’s not going in me.” Wow. That is actually fucking amazing because I’ve never once had that happen to me. I get plenty of eye-rolls, laughs, snickers, and an almost guaranteed, “Fine. Let’s get this over with…” but not once has a woman ever looked at my penis and went, “WHAT? No.” Which I feel makes this extremely appropriate once you discount his wealth, fame, physical fitness, and overall financial security for the foreseeable future:
SUCK IT, ADRIAN GRENIER! I AM YOUR GOD NOW!