Reese Witherspoon has no breasts

January 17th, 2006 // 58 Comments
witherspoon-gg.jpg

Maybe I’m just ignorant, but didn’t Reese Witherspoon used to have breasts? Either she lost her mind and got a breast reduction, or she’s the world’s greatest magician and has made her chest totally disappear. That, or her baby got overzealous while breastfeeding and totally drained those things. I’m not a doctor, but that’s possible, right? No? Not possible? How about you just shut up then.

NOTE: Contrary to popular belief, wearing a ballerina outfit to the Golden Globes is totally appropriate. Even more appropriate, however, is throwing on a potato sack and maybe cutting some holes in it.


  1. missburd

    And WHAT is with those gumbs? Keep the mouth closed honey, it suits you better.

  2. BadGoat

    Number 42

    I’m not a celebrity sympathizer exacttly, but of course that depends on the celebrity. If your story is true, I apologize.

  3. CASHIN

    YUP-HAVING KIDS RUINS YOUR BODY! LOOK AT HEIDI KLUME RECENTLY!!

  4. fartsalad

    Whenever I see her picture, I think she is saying, “I’m cute…despite the hair on my chinny, chin chin.” Why is that? However, she’s a cutie and is aging well. Doesn’t look like a mommy of several kids. A chinny, chin chin she has.

  5. fartsalad

    Whenever I see her picture, I think she is saying, “I’m cute…despite the hair on my chinny, chin chin.” Why is that? However, she’s a cutie and is aging well. Doesn’t look like a mommy of several kids. A chinny, chin chin she has.

  6. ILOVEMARIAH

    Mariah’s perfume is going to be awesome!!! There is nobody better than her therefore her perfume will be amazing!

  7. All of you idiots are so pathetic. Mariah is a grown-ass woman, and if she chooses to dress like a whore, that’s her perogative. To hate on anyone based on how they dress is like me hating on you all for obviously being retarded. Stop hating on people who actually have a career, rather than posting negative comments about them while at your pathetic little office jobs, if you even have one…

  8. mariah carey fan

    um well she is more succesful then many of you
    i bet you couldnt design a perfume

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