Reese Witherspoon has no breasts


Maybe I’m just ignorant, but didn’t Reese Witherspoon used to have breasts? Either she lost her mind and got a breast reduction, or she’s the world’s greatest magician and has made her chest totally disappear. That, or her baby got overzealous while breastfeeding and totally drained those things. I’m not a doctor, but that’s possible, right? No? Not possible? How about you just shut up then.

NOTE: Contrary to popular belief, wearing a ballerina outfit to the Golden Globes is totally appropriate. Even more appropriate, however, is throwing on a potato sack and maybe cutting some holes in it.