Reese Witherspoon gives terrible gifts

January 4th, 2006 // 24 Comments

reese_witherspoon_thumb2.jpgSome people are terrible gift givers. Usually these people are poor or old, and as such should be sold to Turkish slavers. But Reese Witherspoon has no such excuse, being neither old nor poor. And yet, as a Christmas gift to her husband Ryan Phillipe, she recorded two of his favorite Frank Sinatra tunes. The actress recorded the classics I’ve Got a Crush on You and The Best Is Yet to Come.

To make her gift extra special, she asked staff at Beverly Hills, Los Angeles restaurant La Dolce Vita to play her Sinatra renditions as the couple enjoyed a romantic pre-Christmas dinner. A source says, “Ryan is such a Sinatra nut, he was thrilled with the surprise.”

Note to Reese: if Ryan really wanted to hear you sing he would have stuck a microphone in the shower. I imagine the whole time he’s sitting there, thinking “Ooookay, smile and nod politely.” Then looking around, thinking, “I don’t…see a Ferrari anywhere yet.” Then cringing when the waiter comes up to him and says “what a pretty dress you have on, Mr. Witherspoon.”

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Comments (24)

  1. uncommonamerican | January 4, 2006 at 10:47 am

    I did the same thing with my girlfriend, but I sang the new K-Fed song instead of Sinatra. I got laid so fast it was unbelievable.

    Reply
  2. MortyFishbein | January 4, 2006 at 11:14 am

    I guess soap-on-a-rope or a gift certificate to McDonald’s would’ve been too ostentacious. I mean those gifts seem so over the top!

    Reply
  3. ~S.Starr~ | January 4, 2006 at 11:19 am

    There must not be very much celeb gossip in the tabloids today if this made The Superficial News. The headline should of read…

    “Celebrity gives husband gift from heart instead of spending thousands of dollars on pointless gift”

    OMG how could she!!!!! Doesn’t she know the rules of being a celebrity?? You have to get him a $300,000 car Reece…duh!

    Reply
  4. miir | January 4, 2006 at 12:57 pm

    That seems like a pretty awesome gift to me. If you’ve seen Walk The Line you’d know that Reese has an excellent singing voice.

    If Ryan wanted a 300k car I’m sure he could probably buy one himself.

    Reply
  5. HeeHaw | January 4, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    Well that’s The Superficial for you. Making news out of non news. Scraping the bottom of the barrel in their manic desparation to make fun of people, any people, no matter how stupid and trivial. “Let’s make fun of what Reece got for Ryan for Christmas!” “Oh look, it’s Britney and her baby! Quick, find something about it to make fun of!”

    If you’re going to make fun of people, at least have it be something interesting. I mean, haven’t Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston or Michael Jackson done anything lately??

    Reply
  6. sammygirl | January 4, 2006 at 1:06 pm

    Hey, if Reese wants pointers on giving pointless gifts, just ask JLo. I’m sure every guy in her life needs a convertible Bentley with chincilla-lined seats. Oh, and how ’bout a big diamond pinkie ring? Or a big worthless Fountain-O-Chocolate like what Beck gave to Posh?

    I think the song was a nice touch. But I agree with uncommonamerican, Reese’s own rendition of “PopoZoa” would’ve been way better than “The best is yet to come”.

    Reply
  7. sammygirl | January 4, 2006 at 1:14 pm

    P.S., Hee Haw, for someone who hates this website, you sure seem to spend alot of time here, reading and posting comments. Like others have already pointed out to you, the irony and facetiousness of this website eludes you. Instead, try billygraham.org. I hear they love to preach on that website, so you’ll be a good fit.

    Reply
  8. ~S.Starr~ | January 4, 2006 at 1:21 pm

    miir: The comment I made about Reece getting Ryan a $300,000 car was meant to be taken sarcastically.

    Reply
  9. suzy | January 4, 2006 at 1:35 pm

    she could just buy a 300,000 dollar car whenever she felt like it… so she could afford.. but why.. they have 2 kids, they don’t need a ferrari.. and just because they can afford it, doesnt mean they should buy it.. i mean what she did with the songs came from her heart, not her bank account

    Reply
  10. LoneWolf | January 4, 2006 at 1:59 pm

    I’m no fan of the Reecemeister, but when you’ve got as much money as they do, you have to start going for simple, meaningful gifts – they already have all the toys they want. She did well.

    Plus, Ry-Ry can sell it for big bucks on e-Bay when they break up.

    Reply
  11. HollyJ | January 4, 2006 at 2:19 pm

    Ryan prob either already has a 300K car or can get one whenever he wants.

    I think she overestimates Men just a tad. Men want one of a very few things: sex, money, or big expensive machinery (like stereos, LCD TVs, and fast cars).

    To go through so much trouble probably went way beyond him. He probably didn’t even hear it, because he was justs fantasizing “God, I hope I get a blow-job when I get home.”

    Reply
  12. ~S.Starr~ | January 4, 2006 at 2:52 pm

    Okay suzy…ya got into that one a bit to far. No need to convince us…we got it.

    Reply
  13. ~S.Starr~ | January 4, 2006 at 2:55 pm

    Oh…and I think you people are OVER estimating how much money Ryan has…When was the last time you saw him a big movie?

    Reply
  14. I love K-fed's Corn Rolls | January 4, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    Reece must be friends with David Beckham…
    Maybe they are sleeping together, they both give lame ass gifts… let’s start that rumor…

    Reply
  15. amma | January 4, 2006 at 3:59 pm

    …I think Ryan probably hangs with KFed…as for the gift, I think its so romantic;)

    Reply
  16. WaitWhat? | January 4, 2006 at 4:23 pm

    Hooray for Reese!! She actually put thought and feeling into a gift, even though she’s rich.

    Reply
  17. hafaball | January 4, 2006 at 5:07 pm

    Haha! that’s all I got, this one was great :)

    Reply
  18. ILoveTheSuperficial | January 4, 2006 at 5:15 pm

    HeeHaw, for someone who hates this site so much, you certainly visit frequently… Perhaps you should take your contempt elsewhere. This is funny and I doubt anyone except you takes this site too seriously.

    Reply
  19. andrewthezeppo | January 4, 2006 at 6:30 pm

    But he gets to have sex with Reese, isn’t that the best gift of all?

    Also, you know she also got him a new big screen tv and an X-box 360, and paid for the house

    Reply
  20. derekd | January 4, 2006 at 7:00 pm

    When you have everything there is to get in your price range(NOT speaking from experience) it becomes rather difficult to gift shop. I hope one day I have this problem.

    Reply
  21. esther sativa | January 4, 2006 at 7:38 pm

    its all good and yea ss starr i agree. if he wanted a car he would go buy one himself. reese just gave him something from the heart. they are married with kids they are not interested in going and buying big bling fur coats and fast cars and chocolate sculptures or whatever the hell hollywooders are getting eachother these days. the present only would have sucked if she couldn’t sing but she can.

    Reply
  22. bluecanary | January 4, 2006 at 7:47 pm

    If there’s one thing a real Sinatra fan knows: we don’t want to hear other jerkoffs trying to sing Sinatra songs. Only Sinatra can do Sinatra.

    I’ll bet he was irritated as hell.

    Reply
  23. AD | January 5, 2006 at 4:23 am

    Am I the only one that read the word “extra”, as in, “To make her gift extra special,” as meaning… that she could have easily gotten him something else, and sang the songs just as a.. I dunno… EXTRA thing?

    >_> maybe it’s just me -_-

    Reply
  24. HollywoodSnark | December 12, 2006 at 11:26 am

    Uh, lets see….millions of dollars, fame, oscar…ok, now she can’t even pick out a good gift…http://hollywoodsnark.com

    Reply

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