Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe have separated after seven years of marriage and two children. In a statement issued today their publicist says:
“We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time.”
Reese initiated the split, though sources say it wasn’t triggered by a single event but rather it was “cumulative.” Which is a nice way of saying Ryan Phillippe’s been a jerk for years. Plus I bet he can’t benchpress an elephant or defeat ninjas in hand to hand combat. So pretty much I win at everything.
One can only hope!! ha!
ooh, I mean *wretched*. too much candy.
CANDY!!!!
I’m doing the Snoopy Candy Dance as I type.
Candy, candy, candy. Is that an Iggy Pop song? I’m lapsing into a diabetic coma . . . . .
I think I’m gonna be one of those cheap fucks and hand out those red and white striped peppermint balls this year. Which reminds me, I have to get to the diner before the lunch crowd takes them all.
#55, Nooooo
How could you?! I don’t care how big your cock is, that’s just wrong.
I just ate 7 individual Reese PB cups, two mini banana laffy taffies, 4 Rolos and a small box of Nerds. I think I’m about to have a seizure.
gotcha beat jrz… because I have not yet eaten lunch, I have resorted to the offcie candy bowl. Wherein I have consumed, within a 6.5 minute time period no less, 3 Reese’s pumpkin chocolate things, 4 mini Twix bars, 2 packs of smarties and very soon I will have a small bag of skittles. Followed by a cigarette. And a diabetic shot of insulin. And vomiting. Lots of vomiting.
it all looks really hilarious in my garbage can next to my desk.
Biatcho–nice. I think my fucking flu shot is slowing me down today. OF ALL DAYS! I’ll let the EMTs know your intake when the big sleepy coma sets in for you.
I was gonna dress up my 6 month old, but for what. The little fucker will just drool all over the costume, and by the time he’s old enough to actually eat the candy, I’ll have given it to next year’s trick or treaters.
I used to try be pervy when I knocked on people’s doors… DICK HER TEETH!!!… then when the asked me what I said I politely asked for candy.
This morning I am watching my local traffic & weather channel and the weather guy literally says “It’s gonna be a great day today and I have tricks for you if you have some treats”. I nearly shat my pants with hilarity!!!!!!!!!!! Even better is that it loops every 2 minutes for an hour with the same thing. I wonder how many people are complaining.
biatcho and Richport, your such quiet, unassuming souls. Loosen up a little.
On my blog I posted a story that the director Kevin Smith told about what a bitch Reese is in real life. Looking at her chin she just has that neurotic pissed off school marm look.
And I’ve heard that he might be “A gay”
He’s kinda weird looking. Yep…he’s a gay alright.
#63 the only thing loose on me is my stool.
And maybe a screw or five.
OMG! He’s trying to grow facial hair!
How can Charlize get divorced if she’s not even married?!
Wow a career driven woman in Hollywood not being able to keep her marriage together? Say it aint so!
@ The Angry Ferret
Nice try.
@36,38 rori
- seppuku is suicide.
Yeah, I know that. It was a joke and you misunderstood that. So either you’re stupid or the joke is not funny at all. But the joke is funny.
Supposedly Abbie Cornish is the adulturous wench he was cheating with.
I posted this on a different site that didn’t support plus signs. Here goes nothing.
Ryan Phillippe + No-Name Actress x Piece of Shit Movie = Hot sex in trailer
Reese Witherspoon + Ca$h x Oscar = Mr. No-Dick Witherspoon.
@42: That was excellent! Totally helped me maintain the sugar high I have been on all morning from eating my children’s Halloween candy!
You mean you can’t base an entire relationship on the filming of the first in a long, terrible, softcore series of Cruel Intentions movies? Oh Shit, MY wife and I are DOOMED.
On a happy note, at least “The Santa Claus” franchise is going strong…but next we’ll be hearing that Tim Allen stopped sleeping in the same bed as Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Tear.
too bad…they were good together
eu sou fã da REESE WITHERSPOON!!! ela e linda!!!!
TE ADORO!!!!
REESE WITHERSPOON!!!!
VC E PERFEITA!!!!
that’s a shame, they look so cute together.