Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal officially dating

October 24th, 2007 // 73 Comments
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Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are taking their relationship public after months of rumors. After promoting their new film “Rendition,” Jake and Reese took off to Rome for a romantic getaway. The two were spotted holding hands and “canoodling” with each other. The Daily Mail reports:

Witherspoon, 31, whose divorce from former husband Ryan Phillippe was finalised this month, had previously denied a romance with the Brokeback Mountain star.
The pair first began dating around March this year, although they were careful to avoid being photographed together. However, Reese, who has two children Ava, 8, and Deacon, 3, called the romance off in June, according to reports.
Now it’s clear their love affair is most definitely back on.

I don’t want to say this is the least interesting post I’ve ever written, but I’m currently in a coma. I’m dictating my thoughts by blinking in Morse code to a chimp with a typewriter. Dash. Dash. What the hell is canoodling? Dash. Dot. At least Jake’s not dating Kirsten Dunst. Dot. Dot. Dash. She’s a freaking vampire. Dash. Although Reese Witherspoon’s chin could cleave a watermelon. Dot. Dot. Dot. Make this funny. Dash. Dash. Dot. Talk about bananas and I’ll sell you to NASA. Dot. Dot. No, wait, don’t type that. Dot. These people will go all Ellen DeGeneres on me. Dash. Dash. Dash. Are you typing all this? Dot. Dot. Dammit.

superficial

  1. ad

    not normal

  2. Bill Brasky

    FIRST

  3. Oh! Well there you go!

  4. Christina

    The least interesting couple… ever. If there are two people I would least like to imagine having sex, it’s these two. He looks like a freaking lemur and she’s just dull. If I had to choose between reading another story about these two or open heart surgery, I’d cut my own chest open.

  5. Breezy

    Why does Jake look terrified??

  6. South African Hotie

    third!

    americans r pointless!

    all of u!

  7. veggi

    I’ve had boyfriends just like this. The only problem is when you get really really drunk and decide, what the hell, why not do it? But the next morning you’re always hungover and hate meat more than ever.

  8. Hey, #6…what are you third at? World Nation?

  9. South African hottie

    Thirdx 2 that is…

    bet u american cant add!

    South Africa Rocks! n we won the rugby world cup…do u knw that america is the obly country that broadcasts american football, its coz it sucks! it doesn make sense…fuch all u americans

    Johannesburg Babe!

  10. bosendorfer

    keep selling your soul, reese, soon there’ll be nothing left!

  11. Mindy

    He must love to have a chin stabbing his taint and the head of his penis “accidentally” bitten. Repeatedly.

  12. kpol

    She looks way too happy. He looks like he’s not so happily picking his teeth and wishing she would get the Brazilian wax.

  13. #9 “bet u american cant add!”

    No, but we can count..

  14. kpol

    When did Krazi hot kelli move to South Africa? Oh well, their gain is their loss.

  15. FRIST I have a confession. You know that picture you have on your page, with the bare arms and legs and bent over? Everyday, at least once, I rub one out while pretending to play Rear Admiral with you in that room.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rear+admiral

  16. South African hottir

    Hey frist!

    “next year 9/11….ill sacrifice my own life”

    thats all im gonna say

  17. What the hell was going on in the Jessica post?????

    And why do care about these assholes?

  18. To Darkie

    I didn’t even know that S Africa had computers

  19. Bush

    Bring it on bitch.
    I don’t think your AIDS will let you live until 9/11 next year.

  20. Andy

    #17 – Jake wears panties and Reese wears a strapon. I thought they’d be your ideal dinner guests.

  21. @20,
    Well why didn’t they say so?

  22. whackjob

    6 & 9: yeah, South Africa Rocks! America sucks, we’re pointless, we can’t add and we have the NFL. At least we don’t have fucking Rugby. And have average life expectancies beyond 42 years old.

    Oh yeah, and we have superficial websites like this for international nutjobs with nationalist insecurity complexes, who by-the-by, can’t fucking spell.

  23. Tyler

    I think its funny that Texas mentioned assholes, considering the Brokeback Mountain incident and myself anal raping Reese last weekend

  24. South African hottie

    come on americans……

    that stupid country will soon b wipped off the map!

    ur role model: Paris Hilton
    Ours: nelson mandela

  25. T. Cruise

    Ok, guys raise your hands (I see yours is up already, Jake, you know me so well!) if you hate it when you get a coughing fit in public and the semen starts trickling out of your ass.

  26. kpol

    @24-

    Nelson and Paris have a lot in common. For instance they both went to prison, and I don’t want to see either naked.

    Now, please, go do us all a favor and pull a lion’s tail.

  27. Brokeback Mountian is in Wyoming.

    Dipshit.

  28. South African Hottie

    #22

    u dont make sense….all of u…period!

    American Idiots!

  29. ...and everybody groans

    I thought Brokeback Mountain was in I-da-ho

  30. Fag

    Wide O ming

  31. ba-zing

    South Africa’s role model – for most of the black population, based on their behavior – is Winnie Mandela, unfortunately.

    uh…continue with the ur dum stuff or wtv (gosh!)

  32. laugh out loud

    Reese has the longest ugliest chin I have seen on any woman….makes Aniston’s manly chin look feminine….just sayin’

  33. The movie is set in Wyoming, but was filmed in Canada.

  34. Click on my URL to see a family picture. See how hot I iz?

  35. ReeseLooksIntelligentNaked

    If only Reese would wear clothes that proves she is as intelligent as Britney and Jessica then you would all stop. On a different note, Hey South African Hottie sends us a picture so we can figure if your intelligent or not. I can’t figure it out from your posts.

  36. WhichOneIsYou

    Hey Hottie in your picture: which one is you?

  37. South african hottie

    i take back what i said about 9/11!

    hope u all accept my apology
    We,South Africans, Don Roll like that!

    bt i still say…..fuck all of u!

  38. Ript1&0

    1)Don’t ever say the word “canoodling” again
    2)At least get the chimp to suck you off to wake you from your coma

    While you do that I’m gonna go play guitar in the subway for awhile. Enjoy.

  39. Ang Lee

    That’s correct. And since filming, “The Brokeback” has been the most popular lunchtime sandwich in Canada (canadian bacon in a hot bun).

  40. dicktionary

    “canoodling”: the act of a couple posing dreamily for the camera while thinking about big throbbing cocks spurting hot ropey semen (the guy) and castration by chin-chop (the girl).

  41. I thought she was rumored to have a thing starting up with corn-toothed James Blunt?

  42. Tutu

    Yeah, South Africa is a great place to be. The “Rainbow Nation” LOL

    20% of the population has AIDS/HIV.
    It is estimated that more than 1000 people die in South Africa every day because of AIDS and that six million people in the country are expected to die in the next ten years.

    That’s where I want to live.

  43. jaykaydee

    It’s all a sham created by jake’s studio. He’s very, very gay and they’re doing everything they can to cover it and keep him bankable as a hunky male star. Very well known to be the case in Hollywood.

  44. Ann

    She just couldn’t share Blunt’s vision of achieving absolute-zero muscle tone.

  45. Rock Hudson

    In my day it was called a “Lavender Wedding” #43

  46. Blue Angel

    They make a sweet sweet couple.

    http://WWW.NICOLERICHTEA.COM

  47. Fag

    SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — A 59-year-old convicted sex offender in Illinois tried to castrate himself using a filet knife after he got the urge to “touch and hurt children,” according to the Daily Herald.
    The man, who was not identified, removed one of his testickes, flushed it down the toilet and severely injured the other one.
    He called a friend for help and when paramedics and police arrived, they found him bleeding profusely.
    The man’s sex offense happened in 1984 and as a result was required to register as a offender.

    NOW THAT GUY HAS BALLS………………….ERRRRR……………BALL.

  48. Auntie Kryst

    What’s this post about? Oh, these two…meh. Not enough for me to make fun of.

  49. Samuel

    This is from a recent interview with Jake. It’s all you need:

    Fawning dipshit interviewer: What do you find attractive in a woman?

    Closeted actor: Well, probably just an innate quality of being comfortable. That is sort of the biggest thing. Beauty is not always bad. For me, I think it’s the comfortable factor. How does she feel about herself? Is she happy? That is so powerful and sexy to me.
    …..

    Please. He’s so gay he can’t get far enough away from the mere concept of a vagina during his answer. I guess his answer is what you’d say if 99% of your brain was shouting “Icky! Smelly! Yucky!” But it’s 2007, for crying out loud. Why not just say “I find women attractive when they make me put on panties and lipstick and then ram their 8-inch cocks mercilessly up my ass while making me sing ‘I Feel Pretty’!” Now I would have respected him for that answer.

  50. Jake's favorite wrestler

    Here’s a true story about a high school wrestler who decided to do a little finger banging on the mat. I’m betting Jake will film his next movie in South Dakota.

    http://www.queerty.com/queer/news/wrestling-rape-trial-wraps-up-20070316.php

    (make sure you read the comments too)

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