Reese Witherspoon Specifically Tells Her Kids Not To Be Like Chris Brown & Rihanna

February 29th, 2012 // 55 Comments
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Despite the pervasiveness of whore-fueled disaster zones like the Kardashians, Lohans, Hiltons, etc, you’d just assume that everyone in Hollywood raises their kids to become degenerate shitbags with no moral compass because, fuck it, they’re rich. But then there’s Reese Witherspoon, who, yes, probably lets Chelsea Handler near her children, she at least has the wherewithal to point at Chris Brown and Rihanna and say, “Don’t do that. Don’t ever do that. I know where you sleep.” People reports:

Witherspoon’s two children – daughter Ava, 12, and son Deacon, 8 – have also talked with their mother about a recent public case: the felony assault by Chris Brown on then-girlfriend Rihanna in February 2009, after which he pleaded guilty.
“My daughter knows what happened. My son knows as well,” says the Oscar winner. “We talk about what is abuse. I think it’s important to talk to our daughters – and our sons – in order to educate them at an early age about what’s appropriate and what is absolutely not acceptable.”

Of course my favorite part of this story is the fact that Reese Witherspoon is clearly baiting Chris Brown who will be lulled into a false sense of security because she’s a woman, only to find his fist impaled on razor sharp dagger chin giving Reese the few seconds she needs for a sweet throat rip. Tell me that’ll go down any other way, and I’ll spit in your mouth and call you a liar.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. Ariel

    The Tao of Dagger Chin.

    • Randal

      You’ve got to give Reese credit here, as her children no doubt see and hear a lot about Rihanna and Chris in the news. Raising respectable children is obviously her goal and she’s on the right path to making it a reality.


  2. Good for her for calling a spade a spade– she’s looking pretty good here, too.

  3. The Royal Penis

    If you have to tell your daughter that being punched in the face isn’t “OK” then it might be time to seek professional help for the both of you.

    • You’re an idiot, shut the fuck up.

      • The Royal Penis


        What ya gonna do now internet tough guy?

        Answer: Nothing

        As Jim Carey said you’re going to piss and moan like an impotent jerk, and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe!

    • Well apparently some people DO think it’s “OK” to punch a woman in the face. Therefore, I think Mr. Royal Penis needs to go seek some professional help about what is happening in the world today.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Did you just emerge from one of those backyard bomb-shelter bunkers? Well, what’s happening in the news these days is, a lot of total asshole teenagers are siding with Chris Brown, saying it would be great to get punched out by him.
      There you go.
      And Betty White is the only remaining Golden Girl.

  4. Good on her for being active in combating the fucked up signals pop media sends out.

  5. She really should be telling her daughter no to touch other people’s phones. That’s the real lesson.

  6. Shaneeza

    not gonna lie if I had the chance id cut his dick off

  7. Anonymous

    @ The Royal Penis
    While it’s unfortunate that something so obvious must be stated, I think it’s important for her to tell her daughter seeing how there are young girls that say things such as: ‘I’d let Chris Brown beat me, he’s hot’.

    • Clarence Beeks

      I agree. Good for her to tell her kids about this.

    • Ella

      To be honest, if you are to watch modern TV, read the press, socialize with your peers you actually will end up thinking that violence is OK- even kids shows have it. So, no, in today’s world, unfortunately, violence is being portrayed as the hip thing. And yes, you do need to tell your kids, and everyone else for that matter, that violence IS NOT OK.

  8. mean tina

    deep down fish hates women.

  9. Reese Witherspoon Avon World Conference Of Womens Shelters
    Commented on this photo:

    Reese, so pretty, she WINS internet, awww shame KK

  10. Reese Witherspoon Avon World Conference Of Womens Shelters
    Commented on this photo:

    reese is pretty and talented in a way that Kim Karsplashian can only dream of.

  11. forrest

    this is “Covered English” for: I HATE AFRICAN AMERICANS, folks!!

    • I’m guessing it’s probably just parenting.

      “Hey mom, what’s the deal with all this Chris Brown stuff?”
      “Well small person that I am responsible for molding into a functioning adult, he beat up a woman and that’s not right. Men shouldn’t hit women”
      “Oh OK. I shouldn’t let myself be in those situations if I can help it then?”
      ‘Thanks mom.”

      What a racist bitch.

    • Would you just go the fuck away. I don’t care which pseudonym you post under, forrest, just leave

    • Ray Sist

      Blacks read too much into everything these days. “I like Peanut Butter!” “Yeah, you would cracka bitch. Cuz peanut butta only goes on white bread huh?”

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Does it lend itself to pumpernickel bread?

      • iLuvme

        Really douchbag? I think that people like u that act like racism doesn’t exsist & that white ppl don’t use sublte racism when talking are the biggest idiots on earth. U know what else is racist, u racist? Thinking that black ppl even talk like that? Fucking retard.

  12. She should tell her giant ass not to be like Paula Dean.

  13. If I am ever trapped in a cave-in, I want it to be with Reese Witherspoon. Not because I find her sexy. I don’t. But just imagine how quickly she could dig us out with that chin.

  14. chmod

    I thought MacGruber was the original throat ripper. I feel so stupid.

    • Wait a minute now, Patrick Swayze is the original throat ripper. He used that move in “Road House”

      • sobrietyisacrutch

        No, that was a heart ripper.
        A bouncer with a degre in philosophy. They just don’t make em like that anymore…

    • Wasn’t there some action movie where the star rips a baddie henchman’s larynx out of his throat? I want to say Geena Davis in “The Long Kiss Goodnight” or Ah-nold in “Eraser,” but neither of those feels like the right answer to me.

  15. okiedokie

    I like her because she is always so outspoken and she has her shit together.

  16. Reese Witherspoon Avon World Conference Of Womens Shelters
    Commented on this photo:

    I agree she looks good here

  17. Visible injection

    Kristen Stewart in 10 years.

  18. Mike

    Nothing but mad respect for Reese Witherspoon. She been around since the 90′s. What more can I say? Body’s good too!

  19. KK-Hater

    Awesome, at least there are some people in Hollywood that understand that Chris Brown & Rihanna are both a couple of useless pieces of shit. Add Kim K. and klan to that list as a whole host of Hollywood ass-wipes!


  20. KK-Hater

    Love ya Reese!!! Stay hot sweetheart!

  21. Reese Witherspoon Avon World Conference Of Womens Shelters
    Commented on this photo:

    What the f uck is that???????

  22. iLuvme

    I really wish that these white women would let it gooooooo! All of those woman beaters that were at the Oscars & Grammys?? C’mon!! This double standard is some bullshit.

  23. InTheIndustry

    What I find funny and interesting about this article is one, the dude she is married to now, has done the same as Chris Brown. Two, I am positive that this TALK was Co-Parenting with Phillippe not just something SHE decided to do and three, she is sooooo fucking Type A , I doubt that she will be sticking that chin of her’s where it don’t belong when it comes to their relationships.

    So Witherspoon, Check you own BACKYARD before speaking about others and give credit were credit is do!

  24. ess

    I hope she also teaches her children to be nothing like her very own brother, who is a convicted pedophile.

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