Reese Witherspoon’s Pregnant Exactly Like I Called It A Year Ago. SUCK IT!

Back in July, I began speculating that Reese Witherspoon is pregnant, and pretty much kept at it with occasional pauses to point out she had an abortion because the fetus lacked a strong enough dagger-chin to crack free of its shell after birth, only to pick things back up again like a master detective who knows that puffy coats equal babies. Long story short, Us Weekly is reporting Reese is three months pregnant which I think we can all agree proves I was right every step of the way except for that abortion stuff which was clearly a clever ruse to throw me off the scent. Well not today, Chin-finger!

“Reese is right around 12 weeks,” one source explains, adding that the This Means War star is “not planning to announce it.”
The baby-to-be will join older siblings Ava, 12, and Deacon, 8, Witherspoon’s kids with first husband Ryan Phillippe, from whom she split in 2006 after 7 years of marriage. Pals of Witherspoon and high-powered CAA agent Toth, 41, aren’t shocked by the happy news. “Reese and Jim have been trying to get pregnant,” one pal says.

I love the smell of victory-placenta in the morning.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, GSI Media