Reese Witherspoon Got Married

March 28th, 2011 // 30 Comments

Because her last one to Ryan Phillippe worked out awesome, Reese Witherspoon married her agent/boyfriend Jim Toth this weekend. Although, in her defense, he’s a balding, unattractive 40-year-old, so the chances of straying are slim. On that note, let’s find out how Jake Gyllenhaal spent the day coping with not being a passive enough doormat. Us Magazine reports:

Gyllenhaal, 30, and a group of friends (including Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine) spent the evening at the Spare Room in L.A. bowling and drinking Red Stripe beer.
“They looked really into it and seemed really relaxed,” a witness tells UsMagazine.com. “As the game progressed, the guys started high-fiving each other; at one point Jake did what looked like a little dance after bowling a spare.”

*writes “Anal” next to Jake Gyllenhaal* Fascinating, fascinating. And Ryan Phillippe?

His companions: on-again girlfriend Amanda Seyfried and two pooches! Seyfried, 25, took her dog Finn, while Phillippe, 36, brought along his daughter Ava’s German Shepherd puppy. The foursome were spotted taking a jog near their $1,200-a-night cottage (which featured a private deck with a sunken bath tub and outdoor rain shower — plus a cozy fireplace inside).

*writes “Repeatedly stuck his penis in Amanda Seyfried who’s apparently going to ignore the whole constantly getting chicks pregnant thing.”* Wait. Did Ryan Phillippe seriously end up being the winner here? How the hell does that happen? Did he see Charlie Sheen naked once and was granted three wishes? Because he told me it was only one and that’s if I held the camera steady.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Skillette

    BFD!

  2. jake

    HIGH maintenance. Good luck new hubby: you’ll be carrying her purse in public, with your balls inside.

  3. Her house is behind my junior high. Enjoy those school bells!

  4. slappy magoo

    They sell Reese Witherspoon bobble head dolls now?

  5. Reese Witherspoon Wedding
    Honest Abe
    Commented on this photo:

    One of Hollywoods best smiles! She is so hot!!

  6. dpbefun

    How nice!….uh, now can I see so @$$ or tits please. After all, I am a paying customer.

  7. Reese Witherspoon Wedding
    Honest Abe
    Commented on this photo:

    I hold the balls with my left hand- like this, and his shaft with my right hand- like this. Thats why I’m marrying him!

  8. Reese Witherspoon Wedding
    Honest Abe
    Commented on this photo:

    SHART!!!

  9. You know the buffet was epic.

  10. Rush

    Smile’s a bit forced.

  11. eatme

    ???
    He ain’t bald. He just likes his baseball caps is all.

  12. Madame Tussaud unveiled the Reese Witherspoon figure today at her “Spring Fresh-n-Flirty” event in Las Vegas.

  13. TomFrank

    As someone who really is balding, I have to say, no, Jim Toth is not balding. He shaves his head, and maybe he’s got a little bit of a widow’s peak beginning, but that hairline is pretty damn good for 40.

    I think I speak for every balding 40-year-old when I say I wish I had his hairline. (Oh, yeah, I’m also 40.)

    • kerri

      I think balding guys can be totally sexy. As long as you carry yourself with confidence – don’t give it a second thought.

  14. Cock Dr

    I will assume that she road tested him hard over a long period of time & that she was pleased with the test results.
    Hope the 2nd one takes: good luck Reese.
    I won’t wish HIM luck; he’s already hit the pussy jackpot.

  15. Senior Pepe

    When does her chin get married?

  16. kerri

    I think Jim Toth is hot. I would take him over either of her exes any day of the week. Balding, shaved head, widows peak – who cares. If the guy has sex appeal (which he absolutely does) that’s all that matters.

  17. Deryn

    I agree; Toth is hot.

  18. Mila Kunis

    WTF??? Toth is VERY attractive super, but you are forgiven because I get you not getting it. I think Blake Lively has a manface to end all manfaces and you love her. We think Toth is hot and all you see is balding. The thing is it’s not about looking perfect as your manly faced obsession proves, it’s about the overall appeal. I’d say Toth is like a lot like Lively (although older) he’s balding she has major premature wrinkles, HOWEVER they both have great bodies (hers is greater admittedly), a certain charm and an x factor appeal that the respective same sexes often miss.

    • kerri

      totally agree. i can’t stand most of the ‘pretty boys’ that are posted on this site. jim toth looks like a man’s man (yeah yeah – write your dumb immature gay come back). he has total sex appeal. she did very well landing him.

  19. Reese Witherspoon Wedding
    Bri
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she cut the wedding cake with her chin…

  20. the one

    she is able to show a more faking smile?

  21. Reese Witherspoon Wedding
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    REESE and her children are SO SWEET! I wish them good luck.

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