The Superficial presents ‘The Hell Are You Wearing?

April 28th, 2009 // 70 Comments

Welcome to another The Superficial Caption Gallery. This time around we’re featuring red carpet disasters such as good ol’ Brooke Hogan here. Feel free to laugh along at my sexy wit, or simply the fact that these people paid money to look like Bedazzled shit. (But say it’s my wit; I’m sensitive.)


  1. alishia


  2. NipTuck

    ha hahahahahahhahaahaaa

  3. juniper

    katy perry is hot as hell. shes a talentless twit but she is gorgeous.

  4. Limp Sausage

    Pitiful, pitiful shit here.
    Do they do this on purpose?

    This is proof that this country is, now in and will continue to reside, in the toilet….

  5. juniper

    actually sausage i think better proof of that lies in the fact that 98% of people think osamas doing a wonderful job when all that hes accomplished is destroy the constitution.

  6. Professor Plum in the Library

    World mystery solved right here!

    This is the fashion designers way of protesting in a creative revolt….they don’t need signs (or) need to stop working

    They work harder at making celebrities looked like crazed lunatics. They are angered that these people make more money than them but aren’t cooped up in a sweat factory all day. They know this s*$t looks bad…cause they ain’t wearin’ it, shot dawg!

  7. whistle

    I gave up hope of thy captions being funny by pic 6. Now I’m going wikipedia to try and figure out what made Lady Gag Gag famous.

  8. Jenipurrr

    Hey man, Tilda Swinson could wear a doorknob coming out her ass and still be cool. She is the Queen of weird close and everyone loves her for it.

  9. Jenipurrr

    Hey man, Tilda Swinson could wear a doorknob coming out her ass and still be cool. She is the Queen of weird clothes and everyone loves her for it.

  10. so2

    hey, I like Christina’s outfit. Emilio Pucci is a respected designer.

  11. The Bong Show

    Fucking Lisa Rimjob. Get the goddamn hook! The AMA needs to review the license of whomever did those lips. Must be the same guy that did Kendra’s tits.

  12. -Id plowed most of em especially Brooke!
    -It mustve been a dog day afternoon with that outfit for SJP, the only thing missing is the chained collar…

  13. Melissa

    #12 – Indeed. She really reminds me of Katherine Hepburn. I have such a chic crush on Tilda.

  14. Ananana

    Dear New Superficial Writer:

    You are not funny, clever OR witty. Bring back the old one(s).

    Ps- Dressing weird is a part of Tilda Swinton’s “image”. If you’re writing for a pop culture site you should know that.

  15. Melissa

    Also, that dress on Kate Hudson is absolutely gorgeous. I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about…

  16. Ananana

    @18 not just Kate Hudson’s! Jennifer Lopez looks great, Mischa’s dress is very original and still classy (although it looks horrible on her), Christina isn’t rocking the dress, but it’s not it’s fault… There are a lot of other celebreties that you could pick from to make fun of their outfits (Britney, Mickey Roarke, Kanye…) other than Pamela Anderson and a Playmate (OF COURSE they’re going to dress like whores) and Lady Gaga (we know she’s a skitzo).

    WTF Superficial writer? You used to be so inteligent… Now you only post photos of quasi-celebs in bikinis and write dumb-ass captions with the wit of an 8 year old.

  17. It's Me Fuckers

    Jesus H Christ Pamela Anderson is starting to look like Dontella Versace…..

  18. pappy smeary

    her belly button is bigger than a cereal bowl…

    **fap fap fap*** aw, no, stop it, this is disgusting **fap fap fap*** god this horrible please help me

    **masochistically masterbating, tears streaming down face**

    (pic 1)

  19. Reyce

    The hell are you doing putting Lady Gaga on this list!?!?!

    She’s fucking mint, I demand her photo be moved to the “Cooest Bitches Ever” section.

  20. Open your Eyes

    you guys are total wack jobs if you think these so-called “clothes” are “cool” & “great”

    just because a designer is famous doesn’t mean that everything he/she makes is going to be wearable…some stuff was just meant to stay on the rack – a two year old could put these outfits together

  21. darko

    Aww, c’mon Morons. Lady GaGa is the best joke going in pop culture. What a train wreck!

  22. pirhan

    I liked Sienna Miller.. and then I scrolled down. Whoa.

  23. Super King

    i don`t think Sarah Jessica parker made a mistake choosing that outfit. That strange stuff on her head at least draws attention away from her horse-face. Can`t believe ppl find her beautiful.

  24. Huckleberry Hashimoto

    Good ol’ Pammy, still a class act all the way.

  25. Galtacticus

    Eww! Why are these low class,bad taste celebitches celebitches?? Bad genes are the most succesful on thisplanet!

  26. Darth

    What i see her is a sea of bad genes! No wonder they are celebitches because they want to ‘prove’ the opposite!

  27. Gando

    In the human history something went terribly wrong halfway.The bad genes took over the lead.What can we do about this?

  28. Jim Jones

    Aubrey O’Day is a real person? Based on that Playboy photoshoot, I thought she was like some CG creation.

  29. holy shit pam anderson, that shit’s just terrifying. she looks like the old cartoon versions of the joker or something.
    someone actually PAID her to show up like that?

  30. Kels

    I’ve officially given up hope that this site will ever be funny again, ugh.

  31. ToTellTheTruth

    You should have titled it “What in the fuck are you wearing and why didn’t you burn that shit BEFORE you walked outta the house in IT”…

  32. Lineman7

    Maybe it’s the trailer park in her, but I still bang Brooke like a screen door in a hurricane.

  33. AJ

    Who on EARTH writes these special sections? Seriously they are tragically unfunny. We expect quality sarcastic, acid-tongued, celebrity bashing….NOT this shit. Sorry if I got someone fired

  34. Har!

    Captions? What captions? I’m too busy laughing my ass off at the pictures…..

  35. missy_m

    has Superficial changed writers? this is not as ascerbic as we’re used to… you weren’t bought out by Fox or something were you?

  36. Noah Lieske

    Nice collection. Good job! Noah Lieske

  37. Prettysleepy

    It looks like Tilda Swansens head is on backwards. It’s freaking me out.

  38. pascale

    Who wrote the captions for these photos? The jokes are AWFUL, definitely not superficial quality.
    “Bring back my shag carpet, lady!” … what the hell?

  39. lola

    Michelle Rodriguez (sp?) looks really cute. I don’t like any of the other looks, but I see what Katy Perry is going for.

  40. You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Macho Man Randy Savage smoke a Bong rip of salvia… AND FREAK OUT:

  41. testington

    wow way to just steal a bunch of pics from the gofugyourself archives, most of these pics are months if not years old

    a new low superficial, very low…..especially just after Fug Maddness 09

  42. delic8

    I actually kinda like the dress on Lady Gaga. It’s pretty, just not in a clothes-pretty kinda way… like it would make a cool sculpture.

  43. my comment

    LA is not a fashion capitol.

  44. Jordon

    Brilliant selection and commentary. I love the Tilda Swinton piece

  45. finally, something that makes my clothing line look cool!

  46. Rachell

    HAHA nice, I choked out laughing at this: “Lady GaGa, get Superman’s Fortress of Solitude off your ass, woman. The man sleeps there!”

    LOL :)

  47. Rachell

    HAHA nice, I choked out laughing at this: “Lady GaGa, get Superman’s Fortress of Solitude off your ass, woman. The man sleeps there!”

    LOL :)

  48. pug

    Bai Ling is one sick little guy.

  49. SlimPim

    Is it just me, or is Pam turning into Mickey Rourke’s twin sister in painfully slow stages? It looks like her face is beginning to crumble, for Christssakes!
    Just let it go and retire already, Pam. You’re way past your prime. Even Kid Rock won’t fuck you anymore, and that’s saying something!

  50. This thirty nine year old is planning a suicide-attempt, folks?

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