Rebecca Loos hopes these will jog your memory

March 10th, 2008 // 98 Comments

Rebecca Loos is the alleged mistress of David Beckham while he lived in Madrid. She was his personal assistant that supposedly personally assisted him in the pants department for four months. These are some topless shots she recently took for News of the World in order to maintain some form of relevancy. Kudos, it worked. In the meantime, despite the breastyness, she’s not that amazingly attractive of a woman. Then again, if I was alone and the last person I had sex with was Victoria Beckham, I’d totally do that Rebecca chick. Or stick my penis in an electrical socket. Whatever. Either way, I come out ahead – like way ahead. Miles, if you will.

NOTE: First two pics are NSFW because of the aforementioned breastyness.


  1. John SMith


  2. john's girl

    taking topless pics for a tabloid? This girl is all kinds of classy.

  3. k


  4. k


  5. Nah, no butt shots, the “guys” here will hate this.

  6. D. RIchards (Scumbag.)



  7. mer

    I just got fired. Fuck you.

  8. D. Richards (Desperate.)

    #5 — Double negative.

  9. Jackie Blue

    OK so she is famous for screwing a famous married man. Now keep on posting her picture and making her a infamous celebrity.

  10. @8 Do you really expect trolls to be smart??

  11. She has a nice rack..

  12. piet bakker

    uhm… she’s not his personal assistant dumb-ass.
    she’s a dutch model.

  13. piet bakker

    (not that she’s that beautiful though)

  14. Bill Clinton

    My fellow Americans, let me be perfectly clear. I would tap that.

  15. The Laughing God

    My peach cobbler was so nice on Saturday. See the trick is to, make sure the peach is firm, but not too firm, soft, but not too soft, almost pre-rot, pre, not rot. Then to dice them up and mix it all together with my “special ingredients list”. Shh! I am not telling you! Martha has been after that recipe for years! The glower on her face when she looked over at her husband Mathew and saw his face awash with pleasure on his first bite is the only thing that give me pleasure my old years. Mercy me! Mercy me! Oh, ho, ho…no, no I think I will cut back on the amount of marijuana in it next time.

  16. laura

    These aren’t new photos…well the one with the guy isn’t . the guy is a NZ rugby player that she was with about a year ago and she got snapped topless with him on holiday.

  17. pointandlaugh


  18. Legalize it; Don't Despise it!



  19. Mary Jane


    It can be a challenge to be a professional and a pot head at night and not gain weight. So what I do is eat a sensible breakfast and lunch and eat a salad for dinner with low cal dressing or lemon. And then after I get stoned and have the munchies; I eat Dreyers 1/2 the fat and 1/3 less calories for dessert. I have several serving since it is lower in fat and calories. And also I exercise once or twice a week too or sex can replace exercising as long as you get multiple orgasms and do it for at least 20 minutes.

  20. dumb question

    what the hell does “butterface” mean?!?!

  21. @17 You must be a homo. I still have not seen her face.

  22. peeps

    What kind of idiot allows a more attractive woman than themselves to be their Hubby’s personal assistant? Oh ya hideous anorexic shopaholic useless housewives who are just glutton for punishment or self destructively stupid. Seems there are many such idiots, hence the constant nanny and secretary affairs. But I guess when you marry a useless bitch for her looks and youth alone that’s how things always go… Looks go, youth goes and then the rich man’s trophy skank position re-opens as does the newbie’s ho hole.

    I guess for Poshy the stick spice it’s pretty hard though because every woman is more attractive than Posh, except the morbidly obese. Wait that’s wrong, many morbidly obese people are much hotter than Posh, like that lobster eating thing that Dane Cook screwed in Good Luck Chuck. Poor ugly anorexic materialistic bitch spice, even most gay men are more attractive than her so she has to watch her hubby non stop. The skank probably sleeps with one eye open and I don’t mean her brown eye (though I hear the anorexics always have bowl problems so maybe she does).

    The lesson is to never marry someone better looking than you. Luckily for some of us (*points repeatedly to self with thumbs*) there is no such thing. But for the rest of you don’t pull a Jennifer Anniston, it never ends well.

    Anyhosen, this bitch is ugly in the face, the overall bod is meh but, yeah that boobs are impressive. I wonder if they’re fake for such bigguns they aren’t too saggy. But lots of chicks have largish boobs and then throw some silly just to keep them perky and of course make them bigger. But, regardless of the tatas the girl really is not good looking enough to be acting the way she does, so I predict that because she is not that hot and obviously is a self absorbed attention whore she will likely have a miserable life. She just doesn’t have the goods to supply the attention she craves. It’s a called ” T15MFS: Terminal 15 Minutes Fame Syndrome” or ” PHS: Paris Hilton Syndrome” not to be confused with Paris Hilton Disease which is a raging mutated combo of every STD in existence) although inexplicably Paris has been able to fight it every step of the way. Which one? Well, both actually.

  23. Frist

    @20 Everything looks good butt her face.

    This broad has beautiful tits.

  24. mer

    @ #20

    “Butterface” = “but her face”

  25. mythai

    Are they real? If not,can someone get me the name of her surgeon??

  26. dumb question

    23, 24, thanks.

  27. erica.

    Her face isn’t THAT bad. I do hate butterfaces though. Girls with pretty faces but who are like kind of chubby can work on their bodies. But girls who have ugly faces, hmph. They may have hot bods, but if you try to fix your face it usually turns out horrible and you’re even more ugly than before. Just making a point.

  28. Harry

    Becks can have any woman he wants, but he’s stuck with that pencil shaped has been of a Spice Girl. Poor guy. Just goes to show you that Clooney and Tarantino have the right idea: When you’re famous, don’t get married. There’s always another busload of women coming around the bend.

  29. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    “…JOG your memory”
    for some reason i thought that said ‘jugs’. i can’t imagine why i thought that.

  30. jdrevv

    Nice rack! I’d love to give her a pearl necklace or two. Then she could blow me to complete the fantasy! Yummy tits!

  31. Ahhh….dinner, the perfect break between work and drunk..

  32. debagger

    I took one look and first thing that came to my mind is “fake!!!” Although, to be fair, they are rather pleasant-looking funbags.

  33. debagger

    I took one look and first thing that came to my mind was “fake!!!” Although, to be fair, they are rather pleasant-looking funbags.

  34. @32 I think they are real. They just don’t have that stand at attention look to them. But I guess there is only one way to find out.

  35. surgeon

    They aren’t real but they were fairly big to begin with. So I just shoved some old cheese in there to keep the perkilicious. Cheese never really goes bad it just goes old (like Catherine Zeta Jones) so this procedure works pretty well but don’t get too close, she smells fucking retched.

    Just tell your local surgeon/butcher you want cheese tits and he’ll hook you up. It can also be done with hamburger meat but those buger implanted heffers always seem to go crazy after that one.

  36. @32 Sorry Debagger, I just read on Wikipedia that she did have her breasts enlarged from 34C to 34D.

  37. No way those tennis-ball boobs are real. But at least you can tell she hasn’t had any work done on her face. Ouch.

  38. dude_on_a_wire

    Unfortunately without ass pics this post is a complete bust (pun intended).

    I would like to confirm that she is the ultimate skank on the side (from the neck down) but for some reason the photographer left out her ass – how do you shoot a skank without an obligatory ass shot? Horrible judgment imo.

  39. vertmont

    Oh please she was as flat as a pancake until she got enough exposure and money to afford a tit job. She’s famous here in England for wanking a pig on a farm, she is PURE lowdown trash, she makes Vic Beckham look like an aristrocrat.

  40. vertmont

    @35 – Bullshit she was as flat as a fried egg til she got fake sacs inserted in to her sliced open breasts.

  41. cutell

    OMG. I just saw more pic on a celeb site called ‘Searching Millionaire DOT com’.she is so hot.

  42. redhead

    Ok, if Beckham fucked her… he would do me :)

  43. @42 I would do you!! I love red heads:)

  44. shanipie

    Ok so…can someone please tell this fat ugly chick to cover up her freaky ass nipples please?


  45. surgeon

    #40. Wrong idiot. Jimbo is correct on this one. look at her ass ugly face and the rest of her body. of course god gave her boobs she has little else going for her.

    This pic is pre implants:

    This pic is post implants:


    those are implants

  47. #38. Here ya go, ass shots of the skank.

    Flat and shapeless. that’s why the photog didn’t snap it, same reason I don’t take pictures of my walls.

  48. poncho grady


    Look Beckham pulled a Clinton. His cheating has nothing to do with wanting a particular woman. It’s about wanting any woman other than your spouse. These types cheat on opportunity. The “assistant” wasn’t hot but she was always around, always willing and let’s face it, a penis will go into any vagina as long as it’s not attached to a completely hostile monster. I’m sure Victoria is keeping a much tighter leash on him now. No chance of this going down again on her watch.

  49. Clem

    She’s a foxy fox and would get both barrels of baby-gravy from me right across the eyes.
    But, she did jerk of a pig on national telly so maybe not for your if you live on a farm.

  50. Clem

    Oh bugger.

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