Real Life ‘Most Interesting Man’, Gianluca Vacchi Has An Eggplant In His Pants

Gianluca Vacchi is the less-rapey, Italian version of Dan Bilzerian. Recently the entrepreneur and Ernest Hemingway wannabe hit Miami beach with his supermodel girlfriend, Giorgia Gabriele, to smoke cigarettes and talk about the unfathomably baller stuff they might get into that night…

“Giorgia, I’d like to call Zac Efron and the Native American tribe from the Urban Outfitters catalog for a dance party tonight. We can hold the festivities on our Jupiter yacht #2.”

“Jupiter yacht #2 is on loan to Elon Musk while he puts rockets on it for our pleasure.”

“Ah, Giorgia- always right. Ciao, bella!”
*Takes off on a jetpack made of gold while playing a double-neck guitar*