Ray Rice Can Play Football Again
Now that Ray Rice has been officially reinstated by the NFL, let’s see how football fans are reacting to seeing a man who knocked his fiance unconscious in an elevator successfully negotiate a delicate pat on the wrist before being handed millions of dollars to move a leather ball down a field. TMZ reports:
Didn’t take long for Fantasy Football owners to forgive Ray Rice — because just hours after he was reinstated, Ray has become the MOST picked up player in Yahoo! fantasy leagues.
As we previously reported, Ray’s fantasy stock sank like a stone after TMZ Sports published the inside-the-elevator footage back in September.
But now, according to Yahoo! “Transaction Trends” page, Ray has already been added to more than 168,000 fantasy teams … the #1 added player today … BY FAR.
FOOTBAAAALLLLLLLL!!! And while that’s depressing enough by itself, here’s Janay Rice telling Matt Lauer that it was God’s will for her to be punched out and dragged out of an elevator by a professional athlete whose employer would see to it that he faced the most minimal of legal repercussions if any at all. *kisses fingers, points to sky* Just living by His plan, y’all. TODAY reports:
“I feel like God chose me and Ray for a reason and it was definitely to bring awareness to what people are going through every day.”
“Janay, this is the Lord thy God. I am an all-powerful, omnipotent being. I create entire universes at my whim and breathe life where there once was not. The limits to my miracles are endless. Which is why I really need you to believe me when I say the only way I can inform people about domestic violence is if you get knocked straight the fuck out by a member of the NFL.”
“But can he still play football, Lord?”
“And fuck up my fantasy draft? Bitch, please.”
Yup. It probably went like that.