Rachel Uchitel says something about something. Mother of God…

May 6th, 2010 // 107 Comments

Splooge Receptacle to the Stars Rachel Uchitel issued a statement today making it clear she’s not the mistress extorting money from David Boreanaz. Via TMZ:

“David Boreanaz is not part of my life, nor will he be. I am not in communication with him and do not wish to be.
“I have made no claims against him and do not plan to assert any. Any statements to the contrary are false and I hope that this statement will finally end any speculation about this issue.
“I am looking forward to a life that is not filled with scandal, rumor, innuendo or false statements about me. I will not have any further comment regarding David Boreanaz.

Adding… “I find it discouraging that a woman can’t fuck a married man in this country and expect money in return for those servic- Oh my God Gloria’s having a heart attack. What? What’d I do?” *microphone screech*

superficial

  1. AC SLATER

    What up guys this is AC SLATER im wearing an extra tight spandex singlet and I just got a fresh perm. With that said my dimpled smile would drop this bitches panties in a heart beat. I got go now Ive got wrestling match to get to.

    PS. Ill be at the MAX later if anybody wants to hookup.

  2. jeezus

    She has fat arms

  3. None of you losers would turn that down. You’d blow a load before your pants even came off, American Pie style.

  4. dude

    A vapid whore guided by a fame seeking missile wants no drama in her life…
    Good luck with that Rachel.

  5. dude

    A vapid whore guided by a fame seeking missile wants no drama in her life…
    Good luck with that Rachel.

  6. dude

    A vapid whore guided by a fame seeking missile wants no drama in her life…
    Good luck with that Rachel.

  7. JR

    “Splooge Receptacle to the Stars” sounds like the best job title ever.

  8. Rough to the bone

    Elegant statement, but it failed to express if David was plan A or Plan B….

  9. Rough to the bone

    I feel cheated!

  10. Nancy McLeatherboobs

    She has leather boobs. I hate leather boobs. Use some sunscreen dipshit or your cleavage is going to look like George Hamilton’s crows feet by the time you are 35. Wait, it’s too late, what was I thinking even trying. I’m too nice.

  11. Dread not

    Great Gawd almighty! No man, married, or otherwise, could resist Rachel Uchitel. I think if Tiger would have banged Rachel, and had left it at that, he wouldn’t be in the shit he’s in with Elin, right now. He could of just pointed her out and said, “oh, come on?!” And Elin would have said, “yeah, okay, I’d fuck her, too. Don’t let it happen again, or I’ll show you how to use a ball washer the hard way.”

    That’s some primo puss, right there.

  12. pimp

    what the fuck is growing on her lip?…hideous bitch…

  13. LIAR!

    This statement (which was obviously put together by a lawyer) is total BS; it seems to say something, but when examined closely she’s not saying a damn thing. Read between the lines below…

    “David Boreanaz is not part of my life, nor will he be. I am not in communication with him and do not wish to be. – Notice she didn’t say anything about her scr*wing him bigtime in the past. This is not a denial of the relationship she had with him.

    “I have made no claims against him and do not plan to assert any. Any statements to the contrary are false and I hope that this statement will finally end any speculation about this issue. – The woman that WHOREia allred tried to extort money from Angel for did not say she was going to file any claims against him; she wanted a 6 figure settlement or she said she would tell the world embarrassing information about their previous affair. In other words, this is not a denial.

    “I am looking forward to a life that is not filled with scandal, rumor, innuendo or false statements about me. I will not have any further comment regarding David Boreanaz. – Maybe the leg spread c*m dumpster should stop chasing, scr*wing then extorting money out of married men; that’s the only way she’ll have a life without scandal, rumor or innuendo. Unfortunately for her, she’s a gold-digging starf*cker, so she’ll always be known as Tiger’s #1 side whore…

  14. VCR

    She has fat arms, sun damaged/leathery skin, and she just get her lip injections touched up and her lips are still bruised. Looks like total shit.

  15. VCR

    Fat arms and leathery skin, with lip injection marks.

  16. joho777

    “”I am looking forward to a life that is not filled with scandal, rumor, innuendo, . . . ”

    Does this mean Rachel is changing professions and will no longer be working as a whore?

    And who cares?

  17. finals

    What’s on her lip? Herpes?

  18. Donald Trump

    She really is the Whore of the Year, and it’s only May!

  19. Classy, classy lady. Not.

  20. JesseJimmy

    Nothing is hotter than a fame-whore and actual whore with a raging herpes sore, braless, lighting up a cancer stick, with a mouth filled with either nicotine or Tiger-splooge, with a wrinkly cleavage and Cousin It hair.

  21. eatme

    SSSSSSSSLLLLLLUUUUUUTTTTTTT

  22. eatme

    I guess she can’t do any nude peta ads, ’cause she always wears leather.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! get it? leather!!! Her skin is like leather!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  23. Ralph

    A nice looking woman, it interests us all. But where are we going with giving this sort of woman ‘celebrity’? Fame is becoming so cheap. Think about it: Celebrity today is being a skank and a whore–ses Kardashian and Hilton. Just wondering, does anyone have to really do anything of significance to get our attention? I say this as I look at a ‘superfical’ website. My conclusion: we suck.

  24. Elle

    @21 LOL, bitch FAILED at extorting money from this guy so she gets her lawyer to come up with some bs statement that says nada. She has a horrible manly look about her with leathery skin and cold sores, she looks like the aggresive type in bed maybe that was the appeal.

    This new look SUCKS and it is f’ing annoying b/c it is always going to some stupid ad and it takes up half the f’in page.

  25. Zach Morris

    She’s No Jessie Spano

  26. Dougie

    First of all, that’s the herps on her lip. Second, this bitch is damaged goods. I don’t think she’s stable, she did lose her fiance on 9/11 afterall.

  27. shebly

    This bitch came into the coffee shop I work at today.

    In person, her skin is so overly tan and freckly and her boobs are so saggy! Who knew fake tits could be so saggy?

    I didn’t think it was her at first, seeing her totally damaged hair, stained white dress, and sun damaged skin, but then she handed me her credit card.

    Needless to say, she was an uber bitch when I asked for her name (before she had handed me the card) and when I handed her the drink she had ordered she snatched it out of my hand so fast she almost spilled it all over herself.

  28. Dante lived in a simpler time. A time before internet pornography and entire networks devoted to nothing but food, so it’s safe to reason his levels for such vices as lust and gluttony are far, far overcrowded, and that a need for some more specific, more horrifying Hells has arisen.

  29. Let her slime her way back to the swamp she came from...

    #30, get help; you’re a mentally deranged idiot.

    Shelby, who do you think you are asking such a princess for her name! How DARE you expect her to treat you respectfully! Don’t you know that the goddess that is rachel ugh-chuck-puke is perfection personified? What makes you think that she must lower herself by conforming to the rules of society?????? All joking aside, I hear you, Shelby. It’s pretty much a given that she’s now a stuck up arrogant little punk; she’s got her $7 million tiger extortion payoff (after WHOREia allred took her 30%), and she’s got an attitude. I say F*CK her, she’s as described; a celebrity splooge receptacle. Her 15 minutes are up; let her slime her way back to the swamp she came from…

  30. Biff Tannen

    “None of you losers would turn that down. You’d blow a load before your pants even came off, American Pie style.”

    I am a loser, but that bitch is nasty. I wouldn’t fuck her with your needle dick.

  31. I would fuck this bitch until her big plastic tits exploded.

  32. She look so sexy in this green gown she is really pretty one.Green gown suits on her personality.she look mind blowing.

  33. Rachel will be banged tiger, and had left him, he do not mess with the Elin, now have. Maybe he’s just told him and said, “Oh, come on!?” And Elin have said “Yeah, well, I fuck him, a lot.

  34. I do not see why a man celebrity drag him place.I first means that is not attractive unless you have skills that can not be reported family forum.What press is a desire here

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    get lots of bestiality videos and used needles at memorybits.co.uk. We will also suck your dad’s cock for $1. Cat fingering is only 50 cents. So come to memorybits.co.uk

  36. ok. you smart man. you know china man wrote all those up there. i must feed my 13 children,so no bother me sell micro sd cards (and taint licking).

  37. LC

    Who is this girl’s publicist? Can they not tell her just to keep her mouth shut?

  38. missfortune

    Seriously, does anyone care what this fat whore says? yawn.

  39. shittin condoms

    slut or not she is sexy as hell

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  41. I was able to see a pre-screening of this movie thoroughly enjoyed it.

  42. AL

    Good from far, but far from good. Tiger probably stuck his golf clubs up her ass.

  43. Gando

    This trick is even older than the road to Rome.Just deny it if you don’t like the truth.

  44. Nero

    She got TW,literally,by his balls.And now she did get a bit reckless…

  45. cellphone

    How many others are there who are getting blackmailed by this person? Come out the closet!

  46. Kelly

    HE CHEATED ON HIS HOT AS WIFE WITH THIS DIRTY STD RIDDEN SKANK???????!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DRUGS ARE THESE MEN ON??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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