Rachel Uchitel: ‘Okay, so maybe I banged Tiger.’

December 3rd, 2009 // 85 Comments

The woman who started it all, Rachel Uchitel, is now reversing her denial about having an affair with Tiger Woods and has scheduled a press conference for today, according to TMZ. Apparently Tiger was urging her to lie via text which sparked his wife Elin to unleash a five iron frenzy of pain:

Sources say less than an hour before Tiger’s accident, Rachel and Tiger were texting each other. Elin confronted Tiger and asked whom he was texting. She grabbed the phone and we’re told she called Rachel to confront her. According to sources, Tiger and Elin began arguing and the phone broke in the process.
We’re also told there was damage as a result of the altercation in the vestibule area of Tiger’s home — damage that cannot be easily repaired, and that is why Tiger would not let police come in.

I love how more and more details come out of this story, Elin Woods continues to look like the goddamn Swedish Hulk who you definitely won’t like when she’s angry. First, it was just the Escalade, now an entire vestibule? Jesus. And that’s just the physical path of destruction. The Chicago Sun-Times reports Elin has already “revisted” her pre-nup:

On top of that, my source indicated Elin Nordegren Woods, the mother of Tiger’s two children, has demanded — and is getting — a total rewrite on the couple’s prenuptial agreement making the incentives for her to remain Mrs. Tiger Woods even more enticing.
At this point, the couple needed to remain married for 10 years in order for Woods’ wife to collect a splitsville settlement of $20 million. I’m being told that time frame has been shortened — and the dollar amount increased “substantially.”

Let’s hope that amount is increased “substantially” because I’m pretty sure Tiger Woods could fart and no less than 80 mil would fall out. The science is with me on this one.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Who be your Daddy?

    @ SO RIGHT

    Relax. You’re just mad ’cause Sarah told Rachel that you were being a TOTAL bitch in homeroom this morning!

    Now what? Now what?? NOW WHAT???

    ::screaming while chicken necking and smacking his fist into his palm like THEY all do on the Maury show::

  2. ConnieCorleone

    This goes both ways. It’s rare to find a guy who can keep his f’ing mouth shut. What ever happened to a “back door man”? Useless, all of you.

  3. Paulie

    Women if you want to have a loyal man then don’t marry a celebrity and don’t marry a player.

  4. Donnie Brassballs

    She’s got some good DSL

  5. Dirk Diggler

    I’ll be your backdoor man Connie.

  6. shankyouverymuch

    Let’s talk about Mrs. Keaton, AKA – Meredith Baxter Birney … She’s the mother of 5 & has been married 3 times. Now all of a sudden at age 62 the clouds have parted & she has this revelation that she is a finger banging dyke!?!? This is a sad & confused old woman.

    Besides attention whoring, I see no conceivable reason for her to get on TV & announce to the world that she’s now a carpet munching purv.

    At her age this is obviously nothing more then a cheap & lame publicity stunt at trying to rekindle a career that has been all but dead for years & years! If you’re gay, fine- be gay, whatever, but really NOBODY gives 2 craps about the sexual proclivities of a dried up old prune~

    Thank you for your time & consideration in reviewing my opinions on this matter :O)

  7. James

    The next new Entrepreneur hot job for 2010:

    PGA Tour 19th hole waitress.

    Just look out where Tiger participates.

    I got my wife’s applications filled up. First stop: Torrey Pines

  8. James

    The next new Entrepreneur hot job for 2010:

    PGA Tour 19th hole waitress.

    Just look out where Tiger participates.

    I got my wife’s applications filled up. First stop: Torrey Pines

  9. Rogue

    @13 … well said.

  10. First Stone

    Tiger should drop his gold digging wife like a bad habit. There is a line of potential trophy wives to replace this violent parasite. Whatever she thought Tiger did she had know right to physically at tack him. He is a prize athele who has hundreds of people depending on him for their livelyhood. What if he was permenantly injured and could ot play golf again?
    The money she is trying to get from hm while he is vunerable is shameful and speaks to her character and the nature of the relationship. It is no wonder they are having problems.

  11. RebelMinion

    Who the hell is Rachel Uchitel?

    And what the hell did she do to her upper lip? Somebody smack her? She get stung by a bee?

  12. Collagen? Implants? She’s like 33.

  13. Esol Esek

    The better looking the woman, the more worthless, and this story proves it. TIger is being overmanaged. He should tell his wife, look, you get half of what you want, otherwise, get the fuck out. Of course, his corporate sponsors want him married, so he can’t just tell them to go fuck themselves, especially now that he’s older, and likely not to be as hot a property, as he has been, until he delivers again on the golf course, and then all will be forgiven. It’s not just about black men. In the USA, strong men are not allowed to do what they want EVEN when they get rich and famous. Elin should be told she’s fucking worthless in bed, and if she was, he shouldnt have married her. If he doesnt like her post-childbirth, then I guess this is the price. Still, he has enough money to tell the media, and the sponsors and his women and his organization to go fuck itself if they don’t like it. Clear out the deadwood, work it again on the links, and people will eat it up. If this guy were a rock star, NOONE would care. I guess I’m waiting for that day when they do this to a famous rock musician, but they don’t have this kind of sponsorship.

  14. andrea

    I hate the glee with which this is getting spread. Tiger is right…none of our F’ing business. What is wrong with this culture? I despise you gossippers and all the fools who follow you. I am not a Tiger Wood’s fan but I am sick of what gets done to famous people. Can’t imagine what this must be like for his wife who has every right to be upset. HATE the media and the women who are now dragging this family through the mud should be ashamed of themselves too. Tiger Woods has made a very clear statement. Why do you all have to be so cruel?

  15. Elin isn’t bad looking. I’ve seen worse. Take Jamiee Grubbs for example.

    @ 35 – Ha, MJ liked em fugly though. OJ too if you ask me. Some white comedian on Apollo Theater thanked black guys for occupying the ugly white women.

    @ 64 – We own celebrities. They fail us as role models. They must be made to suffer.

  16. Italian Stallion

    #13, you stupid axewound, you just defined “whore” the way you portrayed this collagen-lipped cunt.

    Let’s face it. She’s a vapid cunt who fucks her way into gifts & money. Isn’t that what a streetwalker does?

  17. Im a *****, a *****

    Tigers new moniker


  18. ada

    Here is a great place —— Cougarmatching.com —– It’s a premiere cougar dating community for older women seeking younger men and younger men seeking cougars. Come in, post a message, a picture of yourself and check out the hot photo galleries. You will find someone you like here…

  19. Juddles

    Ha! I agree with #13.

    And uh.. did anyone ever call Angelina Jolie a hoe, whore, slut, prostitute, etc, for breaking up Jennifer ANistons and Brad Pitts marriage?

    Oh, and this Rachel chick is hotter than Elin. By miles.

  20. ohcanada

    What’s wrong with her head? Does she need a neck alignment?

  21. damn shes hot. tiger is owning them hos.

    well, except for his wife.

  22. devon

    Elin, Kalika and all the other circuit sluts are routine penis stops for the rich and famous. Do you think Elin would’ve married Tiger if he were picking up golf balls for a living. Everyone involved is an opportunist. I


    Italian Stallion I won’t argue your intense knowledge of the streetwalker.

    RACHEL did the best she could with what she had…

  24. I wnna suck her lips..

  25. brantty

    The HOTTEST interracial club__MixedConnect *.* C O M___for black Women and white Men, or black Men and white Women, to interact with each other. Interracial is not a problem here, but a great merit to cherish!

  26. Stinkypete

    @13, I’m just going to state the obvious – HE’S MARRIED. That simple fact ought to obviate the diarhea spewing from your computer but sadly it doesn’t because the earth is overgrown with far-left wingnuts such as yourself from the land of i-dont-give-a-f**k.


    I hate everybody.

    I need a drink… or maybe just some coffee.

  27. Stinkypete

    I meant @13 was disgusting, not Rachel U., she’s smok’n!

  28. scubagirl222

    All of these girls obviously have low self esteem and other commonalities are they are not well educated or accomplished. It’s obvious what Tiger sees in them. He uses them and he can.

  29. WO WO WO WO WO! I found a HOTTEST interracial club__M i x e d C o n n e c t -*.*- c_O_M_on line for black Women and white Men, or black Men and white Women, to interact with each other. Interracial is not a problem here, but a great merit to cherish!

  30. Hello Guy’s,
    All it does is illusions, pretty short illusions. If you have enough money, you can live a lie.

  31. Babs

    The old saying is “Once you go black you don’t go back” Oh well,Tiger “Once you go white you sure did not go black. Not even once so far. Hope all your money bring you real love. Ha Ha! What’s next drugs? When you have it all that’s what next.

  32. its great that she is still rockin’ the bod but it is just too damn old and dusty, put it away Pam

  33. dag

    I am sorry…. BUT… if I had a wife like Elin I would not even NOTICE a skank like this woman. Not only is she full of herself, but standing to make a profit off of helping to wreck a marriage and a family makes her, by definition, a WHORE!! Don’t get me wrong… Tiger is even MORE at fault than she is.. but there is not enough space here to share my opinion of him!!!

  34. What’s wrong with her head? Does she need a neck alignment?

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