Rachel Uchitel: ‘Okay, so maybe I banged Tiger.’

December 3rd, 2009 // 85 Comments

The woman who started it all, Rachel Uchitel, is now reversing her denial about having an affair with Tiger Woods and has scheduled a press conference for today, according to TMZ. Apparently Tiger was urging her to lie via text which sparked his wife Elin to unleash a five iron frenzy of pain:

Sources say less than an hour before Tiger’s accident, Rachel and Tiger were texting each other. Elin confronted Tiger and asked whom he was texting. She grabbed the phone and we’re told she called Rachel to confront her. According to sources, Tiger and Elin began arguing and the phone broke in the process.
We’re also told there was damage as a result of the altercation in the vestibule area of Tiger’s home — damage that cannot be easily repaired, and that is why Tiger would not let police come in.

I love how more and more details come out of this story, Elin Woods continues to look like the goddamn Swedish Hulk who you definitely won’t like when she’s angry. First, it was just the Escalade, now an entire vestibule? Jesus. And that’s just the physical path of destruction. The Chicago Sun-Times reports Elin has already “revisted” her pre-nup:

On top of that, my source indicated Elin Nordegren Woods, the mother of Tiger’s two children, has demanded — and is getting — a total rewrite on the couple’s prenuptial agreement making the incentives for her to remain Mrs. Tiger Woods even more enticing.
At this point, the couple needed to remain married for 10 years in order for Woods’ wife to collect a splitsville settlement of $20 million. I’m being told that time frame has been shortened — and the dollar amount increased “substantially.”

Let’s hope that amount is increased “substantially” because I’m pretty sure Tiger Woods could fart and no less than 80 mil would fall out. The science is with me on this one.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Carolyn

    Tiger’s a sleaze, but none of these women have any self-respect. I guess they have nothing to offer the world but their big (usually fake) tits.

  2. fdsfs


  3. ad nasuem

    Show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a guy who is tired of her sh!t

  4. money=love

    Show me ANY man with money, and I’ll show you a woman in love.

  5. Jesper P.


  6. cc

    Nice figure. But Carolyn @1 you are so right. What’s your biggest accomplishment in life? “Um, sleeping with a married professional athlete. I am so proud.’ Skanks. Tiger is an idiot too. A huge idiot.

    I hope that people start cat calling him at golf matches. Wouldn’t that be funny? One of the opposing players picks up a sand wedge and scream at Tiger ‘Look out Tiger, he’s got a wedge out!’, ‘Watch out for the hydrant when you are driving.’, ‘Who is the 19th hole today Tiger?’

  7. Grrlina

    Golf groupies – who knew?

  8. cc

    She’s kind of got the Jayde Nicole wonky eye thing going on.

  9. KIKI

    What I find repulsive is the slug lips on both women. For Whyyyy??

  10. dude_on

    I would have numerous transgressions all over those cans.

  11. danny

    Golf groupies? No, more like “black man with money” groupies.

  12. At least the Tig has good taste. All of his hoes are hott! And his wife is super hot too. But 20+million for some strangel? That’s a bit too expensive.
    I bet since two hoes have come forward a bunch more ass-that-Tiger-tapped will be coming forward in the near future.
    But that having been said, I must stand by my morals and say that I’d rather bang Emma Watson.

  13. wishitwasme

    Good for her. She’s single having sex with a billionaire, she doesn’t want a relationship with the man. Most woman are fucking men for a lot less, and less than that. Can you imagine the gifts, the places they go to? Where does your boyfriend take you? Exactly.

    Tiger Woods name takes her places she couldn’t afford on her own, and all this, while she probably has someone else on the side, who is a lot sexier, and sexier after that.

    Tiger Woods has spent more than half his life, sacrificing his personal life to reach the pinnacle of success most of us will never reach. He’s not ever had late nights, drinking binges, he’s been regimented his whole life. Probably not ever had much luck with the ladies until after he became the King of Golf.

    Rachel and women like Rachel, are not at fault, both women are single. In fact, I envy them, fucking a billionaire, not having to wake up next to him, make him breakfast or listen to him farting. They fuck, he pays for Zanotti’s and then she goes to the movies with men she actually likes.

    I’ll bet there were even times she didn’t want to see him, but he promised her ‘shoes, purses, maybe even the necklace she’s wearing in this picture, it looks cheap, but this rich people stuff costs a yacht!

    Now every guy wants to fuck the lady Tiger was fucking, and her asking price just went up.

    ..back to work

  14. jeremiah

    So she is openly admitting that she is only married to him for the money? Why the hell is he staying with her then. Divorce the fucking skank

  15. To Wishitwasme

    you’re pathetic

  16. It's all about Obama

    Conservative, racist white women and men in America always try to bring down successful black men. They hate the fact that a black man is president, but they can’t touch him, so they bring down Tiger instead. What a sad country. This is a conspiracy. Elin knows it, too, which is why she was so pissed at Tiger. She wanted the whole ebony and ivory thing to work, but America ain’t Sweden.

  17. cc

    ” slug lips “…I was thinking more of dew worms. Take her fishing.

    How on earth Tiger ended up with her I don’t know. The gym I work out as full of women like this. Decent faces, maybe showing some age, but they work hard on their bodies. They are looking for a mate, preferably with money. But guys see them for the shopworn golddiggers that they are. So they end up settling for a night or two in bed with some guy.

  18. @15

    @15.. why?

  19. Jimmy

    A whore by any other name is still a whore. The dictionary should put a picture of this tramp under the definition of whore, prostitute, ho, street walker, etc. This piece of trash is just trying to be 1st in line to cash in on screwing Tiger. How classy to always be known as the woman who screwed Tiger Woods! Next step, Playboy or perhaps she is worthy to appear in Hustler! No matter how much the media pays her for her story, Tiger’s wife will accrue far more money should a divorce occur.

  20. selfrespect

    Self-Respect is over rated, Gucci is forever.

  21. Crusty

    Jimmy, I don’t think these girls are worried about what Tiger’s wife is getting or will get in the pending divorce. All they want is the bling / cash / access to VIP areas that comes with banging the single most recognizable sports figure in the world.

    There’s no emotion here, no “I adore Tiger” thing happening. These girls are marketing themselves for bigger things while raking in the goodies along the way.

    That’s really.. all there is to it.

  22. Think about it

    I really dont think this has anything to do with race, prob a lot to do with money (where the other women are concerned anyway).
    He is a married man with a family- but yet he didnt think about any of the consequences of how many people will get hurt from this!
    Elin may surprise us all by taking him for as much as she can and donating it all to charity- I know I would if it was me.

  23. wiggles

    Trash, all of them.

    All the dinky, gel-boobed hoes will come out of the woodwork now. So when do they announce they’re writing books and will be appearing on Oprah or “The Real Hoes of Tiger Woods” show?

  24. Sam

    They’re simply a typical man (amoral horndog) and a typical woman (harvester of the benefits of the man’s hard work). Move along, nothing to see here…

  25. ad nasuem

    Like the old saying goes

    “you can’t teach a hoe new tricks and you can’t make grape juice out of lemons”

    Think on that

  26. silly goose, he should’ve invited her for a threesome, assman style

  27. Jenna

    How you know that we are in economic crisis: Women show up in hoards to bang funny-looking guys with nice cars.

  28. Inmate #2648927

    Poon Ping?

    Ping Tang?

  29. Fa lalalalala

    Women who marry pro athletes get what they deserve. You won’t see me crying for them!

  30. gotmilk?

    can you just go change your pre-nup? isn’t that the whole point? and wouldn’t everyone with one who’s about to get fucked (i.e. not get as much money because all you were after int he first place was just that) change it?

  31. Rough's wood never sinned!

    This fool just ruin the hard work his P.R. peeps took years to meticulously built…

  32. selfrespectmyass

    I can”t say that I know many whores per se, but I can’t imagine that they make more than 50-100 $ on a good day?

    She’s not ‘screwing’ Tiger, it’s a business transaction between 2 adults. He’s paying to have sex with someone who doesn’t look like his wife, and she’s entering a new phase in her career. Playboy, Hustler, it doesn’t matter, I can’t imagine that at 34 she is leaning towards the sciences, so this is pretty much a good career move for her. Now, if she was any kind of Einstein she would have waited it out, and blackmailed him, assuming that through the course of the relationship she hasn’t already made some investment with the money he’s surely given her.

    Elin will certainly accrue more money, than Rachel, however it’s all relative. If Elin is used to getting diamond scrub massages and bathing in liquid gold, then 20 million will not suffice. If Pre Tiger Rachel was dining at Cheesecake factory, then I can only assume, she’s made a nice little chunk of change.

  33. qim

    She looked hotter, when she was crying.

  34. Jesus Juice

    OJ, MJ, Seal, Tiger…they prefer the white women don’t they.

  35. Foreign Guy

    Money is not bringing any real happiness. All it does is illusions, pretty short illusions. If you have enough money, you can live a lie.

  36. Money is a major issue

    I’ll take money and short illusion for 100 Alex!

  37. just some guy

    Tiger Woods has to be privately laughing his ass off. His wife could get up to 20 mil if she stays another 5-6 years. Beautiful woman are telling the world they total whores for a man who’s probably hung like an Asian (his voice tells the story). And he’s worth more than a billion dollars because he’s good at golf.

    Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it. Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true.

  38. Parker

    If he did bang this lying bitch I’ll regain some admiration for the guy cause even though she lies like a cheap carpet at least she’s frikkin hot. That other chick who played her voicemail for US magazine is so desperately ugly I don’t blame Tiger for not wanting anyone to know he’d been slipping her the pork sword for the last two years but damn.

  39. a circumcized jew

    is there something wrong with her neck?

  40. Well, homegirl isn’t getting sh*t if Tiger’s lawyers can convince him to acknoweldge that she’s laid a hand on him. So maybe she should be a little bit more discreet about beating up on her husband! Lol. But seriously Tiger, you cheated on Elin with THOSE plastic monsters? Disgusting.

  41. SO RIGHT

    # 16 — typical black racist comment. Blame white people for the fact that you can’t keep your pants on. Blame yourselves and no one else. White men and women wouldn’t be able to take you down if you made better choices. Period. It’s not a race thing, it’s an human integrity thing. Same thing for Bill Clinton and all the others.

  42. branty

    I found a HOTTEST interracial club ===MixedConnect–*__*– om====for black Women and white Men, or black Men and white Women, to interact with each other. Interracial is not a problem here, but a great merit to cherish!

  43. Who be your Daddy?

    @ SO RIGHT

    “Blame white people for the fact that you can’t keep your pants on. Blame yourselves and no one else. White men and women wouldn’t be able to take you down if you made better choices.”


    White people can’t keep their pants on? You’re have got to be fucking kidding me.

    If it weren’t for fucking, kneegrows would never do any work. Baby daddy this and baby mama that…

    Wait a minute, I forgot about kneegrow on kneegrow domestic violence and other crimes as well. That’s work too, I guess.

    Relax! I kid, I kid!!

  44. Peter

    First of all stop with all the racial BS because this has nothing to do with race – if you think that the case you must be spending to much time watching Maury!

    First lets look at these Ho Bags who are trying to make a dime off of him and trying to get themselves 15 mins of fame. Second to Tiger i must say, what the hell are you thinking?! Im sorry, does your wife not appeal to you any more? If you need sex on the road, bring her along,

    Overall, Tiger needs to get slapped upside the head and he better get on his knees and kiss Elin’s feet. And these celebrity chasers need to put on display as the whores that they are because they dont respect anyone including themselves.

  45. SO RIGHT

    #44 — go back and re-read what I wrote. What I’m saying is I’m sick and tired of black people blaming white people for “taking them down”, when each person is responsible for their own choices & actions.

  46. Who be your Daddy?

    @ SO RIGHT

    So very sorry, sir! You are a white racist, too!

    Welcome to the club, my brother!

  47. branty

    I found a HOTTEST interracial club ===MixedConnect–*__*– om====for black Women and white Men, or black Men and white Women, to interact with each other. Interracial is not a problem here, but a great merit to cherish!

  48. SO RIGHT

    # 47 — give it up dude. The truth is the truth. If you write something so stupid blaming white people for taking Tiger down, when he did it all himself, you’re going to get a comment back. I don’t care how racist it sounds.

  49. just some guy

    Does this bitch have a wonk eye?

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