Rachel Uchitel in a Bikini

Is Rachel Uchitel really a celebrity? No, of course not. Hookers don’t count. However she is a walking example of what Tiger Woods is willing to drop at least $110 million on for his penis – divorce settlement + hush money. – so here she is in Los Angeles yesterday with a dude whose wife is probably seeing these for the first time and jamming a shotgun full of steak knives. (You girls are so cute when you’re angry.)

Moral of the Story: Does she take Visa? Men are retarded. — And that Visa question.

Photos: Pacific Coast News