Rachel Uchitel in a Bikini

August 24th, 2010 // 64 Comments

Is Rachel Uchitel really a celebrity? No, of course not. Hookers don’t count. However she is a walking example of what Tiger Woods is willing to drop at least $110 million on for his penis – divorce settlement + hush money. – so here she is in Los Angeles yesterday with a dude whose wife is probably seeing these for the first time and jamming a shotgun full of steak knives. (You girls are so cute when you’re angry.)

Moral of the Story: Does she take Visa? Men are retarded. — And that Visa question.

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. Que

    Que nice.

  2. Taz

    Not hot.

  3. oooaaahhh

    Now that Tiger’ is single, he doesn’t have “take what he can get”. You’ll start seeing him with a lot better than Rachel (and the others) soon.

  4. argh!

    blargh. body not attractive at all.

  5. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    Certainly doesn’t look worth $10 mil to me…

  6. hmm

    Enough about her….What the hell kind of dog is that?

  7. mmm i love a women with a bucket cunt, i’d drink her bath water

  8. McFeely Smackup

    looks a bit doughy around the midsection.

    Also, who is she?

    one last question. what the fuck is following her, is that a dog??

  9. No sir, I don’t like it.

  10. So what

    Moral of the Story is NOT “Men are retarded”. Moral of the Story is “Whores who show off their pussy & tits get paid”.

  11. skippy

    that dog is disgusting. the 4 legged one is pretty ugly too.

  12. Rachel Uchitel
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Lotsa mutts on the beach.

  13. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    Uhg, I wouldn’t touch that skank with a wuffle ball bat

  14. Rachel Uchitel
    Hank E Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Marvelous Cans.

  15. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:


  16. Who is the guy?

  17. Pseudopodia

    Still waiting to see this tranny’s Uchitel Peninsula

  18. Deacon Jones

    Is that London?

    She looks better all slutted up in club clothes. You can tell by the rippling on the belly she’s had lipo.

  19. Brianna

    I figured her body would look a LOT better than that.. how disappointing..

  20. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    Worse horseface than Mark Teixeira

  21. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    Definitely the worst $10 to $110 million ever spent. If Tiger spread it over all of his hookers/girlfriends then everything would have been kept quiet. He paid one for silence and everyone else squawked, loudly. To her credit here she doesn’t have pounds of makeup or stripper heels on the beach. Looks like a healthy normal chick. Must have a lot of talents.

  22. krunkkybooty

    The dog looks like Brussels Griffon. They are adorable. I have two.

  23. richard

    very average

  24. Korean Guy

    Do they taste good?

  25. Not really sure why celebrities want to fuck her. I mean, she’s got a good body but her face is kind of fucked up. Looks like a cross between a guy and a horse.

  26. Mansk

    That thing, or Elin Nordgrin? What in the sweet monkey fuck was Tiger thinking.. And this is one of the hotter and classier ones..

  27. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    I had Tiger’s money there would be no way I would get near that but I also would have never cheated on what he had . . .

  28. krunkkybooty

    I wonder if the problem was Elin wouldn’t let him do her in the butt.

  29. charity

    that, my friends, is a puppy-milled Brussels Griffon. A very chunky one.

  30. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at that dog. And what a cute little pooch, next to it.

  31. Poof

    Tice nits.
    Da’s about it.

  32. noodles

    That’s one butt-ugly dog. (and I’m not proud – I’d pound the other one ’till her ears bled).

  33. captain america

    this is a belly due to operations!!

  34. Doc Schweinstrudel


  35. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m suffering from dog envy.

  36. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Snooki walking along behind her??

  37. Jen

    her dog looks like a fucking wookie.

  38. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    His ex-wife was hotter than this chick, or any of his other hookers for that matter. By the looks of the guy she’s with, it looks like she’s still on the stroll.

  39. Rhialto

    I could say about this photo; that’s TW in a next life.But then again,i’m not into bestiality.

  40. dano

    Goddamnit, Tiger cheated with Melissa Rivers!

  41. wtf

    She’s got lipo’ed tranny written all over her tummy and face, she’s one of those chicks who from far away looks okay, but the closer you get, she looks like a crossbreed of a horse and a man.

  42. riley

    This old heffa needs to know when it’s time to hang up the bikini. No one wants to look at a braille tummy, put on a one piece for crying out loud.

  43. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    ugly whore

  44. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, my girlfriend looks so much better, then her and KIM for that matter. JC, i guess these guys are really drunk.

  45. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to start working out. No kids and her stomach look like that? Get off the corner and go to the gym. Tiger is a damn fool.

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  47. lester

    Raquel is to lick pussy and suck her vagina and her clitoris and then when this nasty, throw two or three powders

    • eatme

      “Raquel is to lick pussy and suck her vagina and her clitoris and then when this nasty, throw two or three powders”

      ummm, wtf?

  48. Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    I cannot look away from the semi-canine ewok thing. It is sort of cute and terrifying at once.

  49. Laurie

    Really? THIS is who he cheated on ELIN NORDGRIN with?!?! What is UP with these men cheating on drop dead gorgeous women with ugly, skank pigs?!

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