Rachel Dolezal Went Birther On Herself

“Who dat?”
“Your birf certificate up in dis tree.”
“Fo’ real?”
“Naw.”

I’ve said pretty much all I had to say about Rachel Dolezal and the bullshit claims of her being transracial coming from the right to discredit Caitlyn Jenner and blacks – It’s a white Christmas with a White Santa in June! – and from idiots on The View, a show that thought Jenny McCarthy was a voice America needed to hear more of. But just in case you’re still confused, here’s Talib Kweli, Montel Williams, and goddamn Kunta Kinte shutting this shit down. More importantly, while I still maintain the moment it was reported Rachel Dolezal lied about growing up in a teepeea teepee – is when everyone should’ve put their hands up and went, “Goddammit, lady,” in full apprecation that we’re dealing with a crazy person, here’s Rachel on NBC Nightly News where she literally went full birther on herself and tried to claim that her biological parents aren’t her real biological parents because her birth certificate wasn’t printed the exact day she “supposedly” fell out of Ruthanne Dolezal’s vagina in the woods. Yup. Via Jezebel:

But after being asked if she thought telling people that she’s black is “misleading,” Dolezal said she could “understand” why people would feel that way.
I can understand that. But again, up to this point, I know who raised me, I haven’t had a DNA test, there’s been no biological proof that Larry and Ruthanne are my biological parents.
I’m not necessarily saying that I can prove they’re not, but I don’t know that I can actually prove they are. I mean the birth certificate was issued a month and a half after I’m born. Certainly there were no medical witnesses to my birth. It was in the woods.

Folks, if we weren’t through the looking glass before, we’re so far through it now we just fucked a rabbit at a tea party. The only way this could get any more ridiculous is if Rachel Dolezal once called for the boycott of a movie because white actors were robbing people’s ancestry:

“You have white, European actors playing North African historical figures [in Exodus: Gods and Kings], like they were in the ’30s and the ’40s,” complained host Taylor Weech.
“A lot of people might go to the film. Hopefully nobody goes to that film,” Dolezal said. “We need to boycott that film from my perspective…”
Dolezal denounced the film as “miseducation [sic],” “misrepresentation,” and “highly offensive” to ancient Egyptians. “And also to people today,” she continued, “it’s robbing and shredding ancestry and history.”

If anyone needs me, I’ll be over here painting some roses red.

Photo: Thomas Richardson Images