R. Kelly Responded To The Village Voice. Oh, Good.

December 18th, 2013 // 24 Comments
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Early Monday evening, a hole was blown into the Internet after the Village Voice published an interview with Jim DeRogatis that made it impossible to laugh away the severity of R. Kelly‘s numerous statutory rape accusations. It was a situation that most publicists would’ve advised their clients to let blow over except R. Kelly is an egomaniac so naturally he shoved his face right in it and made sure everyone knows the small amount of fucks he has to give about it. Via HuffPost:

Well I feel like I got the football, man, I’m running towards the touchdown and stopping and looking back, mess around, I’ll get tackled,” he said. “And I also want my fans and everybody out there to know that I really appreciate everybody’s support from the very beginning of my career. But as you know, when you get on top of anything, it’s very windy up there.”
“It’s not just about getting on top, it’s about holding your balance once you get up there…You have to be spiritually a climber. So I feel good about ‘Black Panties’… As long as I got my fans screaming my name around the world and buying my records, and supporting R. Kelly, everybody who doesn’t agree with it should listen to the last song on ‘Black Panties’ [‘Shut Up’].”

That was R. Kelly using a football analogy to downplay accusations of rape. The first sport that popped into his head was football. I can’t possibly imagine why that was the case. You almost never see football and rape in the same sentence. It’s practically unheard of.

Photo: Getty


  1. I saw him at my gym in Chicago once. He requested that that everyone be forced to leave the steam room in the men’s locker room. The gym refused. So he had two small white men with him who went into the steam room (you can’t even see in there) and had ice in the cooler with cold drinks. The men were fully clothed, R. Kelly was not. When he left, he sat in the lobby of the gym watching ESPN clips for over an hour, with the two men still handing him ice from the cooler. Such a creep. It was then that I knew he had no money left, he couldn’t afford to do this all at home.

    • Over at blindgossip.com there are a series of blinds where the concensus is they are about him. According to rumors, R Kelly is in finacial ruin from all the out of court civil suits he has had to settle with his rape victims which is why he has been working overtime the last year to make ends meet.

      Not a prision sentence but at least he is seeing a little justice for what he has done.

      Also, as the story goes, he had a really fucked up childhood, where he was repeatedly molested by his father; his former manager pleaded with him to seek psychiatric help before quiting but he refused.

  2. Seems like “I didn’t rape underage girls” might have come up in his speech. I mean sure, pimp out your new album…seriously, is it called “black panties”?…but denying your a child rapist might be point #2.

    I mean, that’s an accusation that would bother ME, and I’m just some random jackhole on the internet who hates babies.

    • Dox

      Alot of things bother me, as is evident in my dark and dreary outlook on the world. That being said, the mere fact that a pedophile has managed to become world famous, and has not once been arrested just goes to prove my point that we are all completely fucked.

      Apparently all I need to do to be successful in this world is to start pimp slapping babies and make a song called “diapers off, wipes up.”

      And here I thought the last two decades I spent dragging people kicking and screaming out of the worst situations of their lives somehow made the world a better place.

      I really am a complete idiot.

  3. i hope he goes to prison.

  4. He’s not going to go to jail for any of this shit. Sad. but true.

  5. and by “the football” he means a cadre of underaged teen girls who are under hypnosis or questionable chemical influence? sorry, that needs a footnote in the text.

  6. kimmykimkim

    Early Monday evening, a hole was blown into the internet. Once R Kelly learned the hole was barely two days old, he pissed in its mouth and made it call him “daddy.”

  7. So he’s saying when you’re accused of raping children, run fast and don’t look back? Good advice. I can’t wait to not be in a situation where I’ll have to take it because I’m not a fucking child rapist.

  8. mx3

    “as long as i got my fans screamin my name and buyin my records…”

    no shit, sherlock. lmao

    • This was the most true and most objectionable part of the whole thing. It’s amazing how complicit his music biz handlers are in covering up and explaining away his crimes. He is worth big dollars to a few corporations and therefore a lot of executives would let him rape THEIR kids if it increased the quarterly bottom line by 5%.

  9. Ah yes, the venerable “Haters gon’ hate” riposte. How will the Village Voice counter such an unassailable defense?

  10. What version of football is he watching? I’ve never seen anyone avoid the tackle by throwing money at the safeties.

  11. Did he rape kids or win the Heisman?

  12. j/k

    “You have to be spiritually a climber. So I feel good about ‘Black Panties’”


  13. Mr R. Kelly sir? When your handlers and PR people are telling you you sound tone deaf, they aren’t referring to your singing. I think you might be confused about that.

  14. This guy makes me sick! Burn his dick off with a Bic lighter!

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