Put Some Pants On, Amazon Echo Is Watching
Welcome to the future! Now that the ‘smart speaker’ biz has whopped in over $2 billion from idiots who “can’t even” when it comes to doing things for themselves, Amazon just debuted their newest product that puts a camera in your bedroom. They call it the Echo Look and it reminds me of my first logitech webcam that never worked.
The target market for the Echo Look (or at least what they claim) is people who are obsessed with taking pictures of their outfit before leaving the house. Then it documents what you are wearing and compares it with Instagram likes on other outfits to give you the “go ahead” to leave your house looking like that. Holy shit, people suck. If only these things were honest…
“Renee, you look like a bitch but no pair of jeans can hide that. Enjoy your day. It is 75 degrees with 30% chance of showers by this afternoon.”
Literally all this thing does is take still/video selfies… that’s it… it doesn’t work as a security camera, it doesn’t sense whether or not your house is on fire, it doesn’t realize that someone has hooked up a hose through your bedroom window to filter in carbon monoxide and end your vapid and worthless existence. It will start filming an amateur sex tape if your significant other’s name is “Alexa” and your safe word is “take a video”, so that’s kind of neat/terrifying.