Mama June: ‘Pumpkin’s Father Is A Different Child Molester, Alright?’

I’m going to be completely honest here. After yesterday’s Kim Kardashian Naked FUPA Emporium, I actually miss these simple country folks and their horrifying shit-pit of codependency filled with child molesters. It’s practically quaint. But enough about why I have tears in my ears, here’s Mama June explaining to Entertainment Tonight why Mark McDaniel – the man who molested her daughter Anna Cardwell when she was only eight – has been around her family recently, which she claims has only been two times. And, no, it’s not because he’s Pumpkin’s real father. That’s a different child molester, alright? You guys make such a big deal out of nothing.

Shannon also revealed for the first time her claim that Pumpkin’s biological father is also the father of her 18-year-old daughter Jessica [Chubbs]. His name is Michael Anthony Ford, he is a convicted sex offender who served time for sexual exploitation of minors after being caught on To Catch a Predator in 2005.
“Jessica and Pumpkin have the same dad, but Jessica’s dad has had nothing to do with her over the years,” Shannon said. “So, why the hell would I open up that can of worms until today? I lied to my family and told them it was somebody else.”
As for whether Mama June understands why people were so upset over her being seen with McDaniel, she says, “I understand that… and honestly it’s not like I’m seeing him everyday, I promise… I wanted to be able to give one of my other daughters closure and now Pumpkin is happy, that piece of our life is over.”

So let’s pull this bullshit apart piece by piece:

1. Fans of the show will tell you that nobody has ever known who Pumpkin’s real father is. Mama June’s own family have said they don’t even think she knows. And now suddenly the story has changed to Pumpkin’s been told her entire life that her father is the man in jail for molesting her sister because that was better than telling her he’s actually the same guy who fathered her other sister and was put in jail by Chris Hansen? That last one has a celebrity cameo. C’mon.

2. One of your daughters already knows her father is in jail for sexually exploiting a child online. How is it “opening a can of worms” to let her sister know they have the same dad? It would actually be the most sane and rational development to come out of this mess: “Oh, by the way, you’re full biological sisters and not every single one of my kids has a different father.” Except according to your new story, you did let her grow up believing her father’s a convicted child molester, just a different one.

3. I’m calling your new story bullshit. Just in case that’s not clear. It’s bullshit. And you only recently told Pumpkin Mark McDaniel is her real father once he started coming around, but are backpedaling now that Anna blew up your spot. Which brings me to:

4. THERE ARE PICTURES OF YOU ON VACATION WITH MARK MCDANIEL.

And 5. Here’s how “all about” your kids you really are. Via Jezebel:

Mama June also revealed that she never read court documents that detail McDaniel’s abuse of her daughter, Anna. “You would be horrified if you read what he did to her,” ET’s Brooke Anderson said.

In Sloth Woman’s defense, it is hard – but clearly not impossible – to date a man when you know exactly how he forced your eight-year-old daughter to perform oral sex on him. “Outta sight, outta mind,” is how we do it ’round these parts. Slather those bad thoughts in buttah, slide ‘em down the highway, fire a six shootah in the air like the Fourthoo July. Here we go now.

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Photo: Lucasfilm