Protein Vodka.

August 24th, 2010 // 50 Comments

Ever wanted to get your drunk on without missing out on all that protein needed to keep your body in perfect date raping shape? Let Dr. Guido Buttscratchio here learns you knuckleheads how it’s done. Via RadarOnline:

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is capitalizing on his hard-partying Jersey Shore image by endorsing Devotion Vodka.
“Mike loves it because he says you can keep your body in the best shape possible while being able to party at the same time,” a close friend of The Situation tells
“He just signed with them over the weekend, and he’s really psyched about it.”
Devotion vodka is described on their website as “the first and only vodka using casein [the predominant phosphoprotein that accounts for nearly 20% of proteins in cow milk and cheese] to smooth out the vodka and give it its distinct chardonnay like finish.”

GUIDO #1: Yo, bro, we can’t GTL tonight. We gotta make these boring protein shakes for our muscles.
GUIDO #2: Don’t worry, dawg. Thanks to new Devotion Vodka youse don’t gotta worry no more. It’s got the proteins we needs.
GUIDO #1: Hey, ma, it’s like milk! I’m gonna fuck some whores tonight.


Photos: Splash News


  1. GravyJowels


  2. Kim

    What are those shoes? I mean, I know that should be the least of my objections, but gawd, they’re hideous.

  3. 14:59

    He’s the man.

  4. mcfeely smackup

    I thought “protein vodka” was going to mean this douche likes to get buff dudes drunk on vodka, then suck it out their dick.

  5. mr. monkeybottoms

    Funniest bit since the shot of Becks with the “SS Ropecock”!

    • M

      Wow, talk about gay tendencies. Don’t bring Becks out of your gay fantasies and into this thread, ok butt plunger?

  6. slkjaf

    hes trying so hard to pull that snake out of his ass, but to his imminent surprise it’s halfway up his intestines by now =O

  7. Dan

    This whole blurb was fucking hilarious.

  8. bernard

    scrathing your ass is cool, just don’t bite yer fingernails!

  9. tromba

    Dead within 12 months.

  10. kj

    I think it’s literally impossible for there to be more douche in a single photo.

  11. captain america


  12. …he looks like his ass AND his breath STINK…..

  13. Mrs. Garrett

    I wanna bone this dude so bad

  14. Darrin

    He is NOT a douche. A douche is useful.

  15. Ilikeyp


  16. L

    HA! Ed Hardy pants and everything!


  17. Deacon Jones

    Well at least he has his Kenny Powers’ kicks!

  18. Bimbamboing

    Protein vodka? That doesn’t sound really tasty to me.

  19. SHADE

    Guido Buttscratchio?… Fuckin HILARIOUS.

  20. Marianne

    Dr. Guido Buttscratchio? Hilarious.

  21. stevebeagle

    Cecil the turtle head !

  22. gfhfghfghfghfghgf

  23. M&M
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, he’s really getting all up in thurr.

  24. Deacon Jones

    Is your name Borat by any chance?

  25. Mike Hawk

    typical New Jersey Trash…with the homo tendencies of a west coaster.

  26. Lady Blah Blah

    I predict that “The Situation” will be President of the United States some day. Because we are that stupid and are apparently becoming stupider by the minute, present party no exception (I’m posting here, aren’t I?).

  27. grobpilot

    We can see where he’s pulling his protein from. What a shit bag.

  28. Queef

    I’d love to break this midgets’ legs.

  29. Jen

    i will drink that shit. call me a douchette all you want.

  30. Viv

    mmmm I’d like to use his hard dick to my advantage

  31. Hmmmmm

    now he doesnt have to wack off into his dates Martini glasses anymore…he should rename it Precum Vodka…fag

  32. Bored with life

    Who is this greasy fucking loser?

  33. Matty

    Stupid drink is stupid. Alcohol slows down the absorption of protein. Most hardcore bodybuilders don’t drink.

    • jere

      thats exactly what i was thinking. only an idiot who occasionally lifts a heavy school bag will think hes getting anything out of this. tools….

  34. dee

    gahhh he is so unattractive in every way possible.

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  36. stevo
    Commented on this photo:

    damn that rich bastard :(

  37. mikel

    hahaha guido buttscratchio…epic!!

  38. Robbie

    He is a bad douche. Is he scratching his ass in that photo?

  39. Zakk

    Everyone who hates him is just jealous like seriously why don’t u get a life instead of sitting in on ur fat female-avoiding arses and blogging all day on how much u HAAATE the situation. Everyone that hates him is just plain sad.

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