Programming Note: Jessica Simpson’s Huge Lactating Breasts Are Still Huge

November 4th, 2013 // 18 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

A lot of you have threatened to jump off bridges if Fish doesn’t somehow fold in penis jokes and comic book references into his Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison broke up souffle. I apologize for the sad state that you find your lives in, but since it allows me to earn money for writing this in fleece pants, I also thank you immensely. So while he gets that together — and I’m told it’s his magnum opus to tranny famewhoredom — please enjoy these candid photos of the entirety of Jessica Simpson squeezed into a dress clearly only designed to hold 2/5ths of her. We bring you the news you want, when you want it (only in this case slightly delayed by huge lactating breasts).

Photo: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. brick

    ….along with pretty much everything else.

  2. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Spandex Minidress Eric Johnson Mastros Steakhouse
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    That vacant look in her eye is from her husband trying to explain daylight savings time to her…

    “Actually the bars will be open another hour tonight because we just turned back an hour”

    “……”

  3. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Spandex Minidress Eric Johnson Mastros Steakhouse
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Aside from the enormous breasts this is a different look for Jess. This is almost CoCo-esque.

  4. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Spandex Minidress Eric Johnson Mastros Steakhouse
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Note that her perpetual fiance & live in gamete provider no longer tucks in shirt or shaves.

    • Kelly

      If he successfully siphons off about $200k a month, his work will be done in less than 2 years, and he can move on…

  5. Jake

    As they say, marrying for money is the hardest way to earn it. The good news for Eric is that I suspect it will be extremely easy to hide a multiple affairs from Jessica – she looks like she’d buy any excuse.

  6. J-Sin

    Jessica had big…BREASTESES?

  7. This is obviously news to morons, but fat girls typically have big tits, except for your mom, of course.

    • the 'too-fat' polka

      Yes big girls usually have big knockers. However in Jess’s case; in addition to being a big girl with big cones she also refuses to brush her teeth, has a well documented gas problem, and other hygene issues that make this whale only slightly more desirable than Pee Kardashian . I’ll pass.

  8. titty_police

    Jessica always looks great when her tits are out. I think she needs a new designer who can teach her how to showcase them well. Right now it’s sorta like Christina Hendricks – just a huge cleavage and not much else. Jessica is much hotter, albeit perhaps a bit dimmer looking.

  9. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Spandex Minidress Eric Johnson Mastros Steakhouse
    Pip Pip Cheery-O
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never seen a bandage dress fit LOOSE before. At max capacity that thing must be able to fit Shamu!

  10. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Spandex Minidress Eric Johnson Mastros Steakhouse
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    In the unlikely event of a water landing, your fiancee can be used as a floatation device.

  11. Let’s compromise, clearly that dress holds 3/5s of her

  12. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Spandex Minidress Eric Johnson Mastros Steakhouse
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at the picture of these two from the waist down and try to guess which one was the pro football player.

  13. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Spandex Minidress Eric Johnson Mastros Steakhouse
    Big Dick Magee
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what anyone says, I love her big tits and wish I could suck and fuck them and her until I die.

    Fuck Gun Grabbing Idiots too…..
    : )

  14. gigi

    uh oh…. somebody needs to tell young Jessica that her Herve Leger dress itself is yawning with boredom

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