Here’s One Way To Distract From The Royal Nipples

September 18th, 2012 // 55 Comments

“Ah, yes, racism. Racism will keep the local systems in line. Or at least not looking at my wife’s tits- Wait, is that a smartphone? Dammit! Alright, then, who wants blankets? Warm, soothing to the smell blankets you want to be sure to inhale deeply from. You take’em big breaths.”

Alternate Caption: Gwyneth Paltrow just came.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty

superficial

  1. Dick Hell

    The expression of the guy in the foreground says it all.

  2. Dude of Dudes

    The guy in front is thinking if fava beans and a nice Chianti would go well with his liver.

  3. cc

    Hopefully, once he is through with that he can go on a hunting trip and help drive a threatened species to extinction.

  4. USDA Prime McBeef

    you would think there would be advisers or some sort of royal hangers on that would pull these idiots aside and say something like, “hey, let’s not ride that chair carried by the natives, it’s gonna look funny” or “yeah, not so sure about the nazi halloween costume” or “sure, let’s bring these sluts back to the hotel room, but don’t get too attached, they are ending up buried in shallow holes in the desert by sun up”.

    • Bruce Willis

      or “just shave it off, you look like a dipshit”

    • Kojak

      Yeah, but anyone knows that Harry is stupid, and what a fiasco was both events, the Nazi costume and the “StripPoolGame”…
      In other hand, only americans can look to this photo of traditional bull…t for tourists and think about racism.
      And the guy with an angry expression is that way because he has a lame job, not because of who is in that chair. For that angry guy, the annoyance is related to how many pounds the visitor had, and not about how he looks like…
      America is by far the best country in the world, but the about any racial matters the USA is absolutely nonsense…

  5. dude

    IF the KKK had currency, this would be the picture on every denomination of every bill.

  6. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone in Tuvalu badly misunderstood the notion of a “Port-A-Potty”.

  7. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Its fun to stay at the YMCA . . .”

  8. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Happy Bat Mitzvah Kate Middleton!

  9. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    amir
    Commented on this photo:

    In the foreground, there is always a brother saying it all with his eyes…

  10. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yay, I have female slaves! F is for feminism!”

  11. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see all 10,000 citizens showed up for the visit. The 8km worth of roads on the island must have been completely jammed.

  12. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not bad enough that Kate never could have expected that 200 year old technology would be used to reproduce her public display of nudity…but now Poor William is forced to slum with only 8 negros of burden?

    It’s getting to the point where being royalty just doesn’t count for anything at all…well anything beyond a life of utter and unrestricted privilege.

  13. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    InkyBlack
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t get the theme from Hawaii 5-O out of my head now.

  14. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    mandoper
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh Husband, all these dear little natives went to all this trouble just for us.

    Indeed.”

  15. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dance like an Egyptian, Kate! Quite!”

  16. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    CuriousTroll
    Commented on this photo:

    The faces on these men are speaking so very clearly.

  17. El Jefe

    This just looks so bad, really bad. This was a terrible idea.

  18. Park

    Americans…everything is racism to Americans. You were one of the last countries in the world to abolish slavery and still think that you are morally superior, somehow. Take some time to learn their customs and maybe you would realize that this is a common courtesy in their country. Christ…a guy can’t even whip his inferiors without people screaming racism in that stupid country.

  19. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Crabby Old Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    “And I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal.. high enough so you can look up her dress.” – Steve Martin

    • hack alert

      Didn’t someone *just* cite that same joke in a post right here on this very site, like, yesterday?

  20. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    In Tuvalu,

  21. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    In Tuvalu, “Vaiku Falekaupule” means “Throw Whitey Into Mouth of Big Mountain That Spits Fire.”

  22. Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal

    Now I understand human ‘sacrifices’…

  23. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    If you forget your festive hat, they give you a golf umbrella.

  24. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    GET OFF MY RUG! This is for MY feet only!

  25. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    These pictures are fucking awesome.

  26. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “All right, altogether now: ‘I’ll never be your beast of burden/My back is broad, but it’s a-hurtin’…’ “

  27. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay, next question, Kate: where did your husband say was the weirdest place you’d ever gotten the urge to make whoopee?”

  28. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Upon learning how cut off Tuvalu was from the rest of the world, the Duchess of Cambridge eagerly jumped at the chance to be the first to teach the natives the Macarena.

  29. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Hugh Evers
    Commented on this photo:

    Just when race relations were getting a little too cozy prince William gives us a reminder of just how deeply rooted the hatred actually originates.

    Now that they have gone Kardashian – I’m willing to check out the sex tape. Wills|Kate could box-set with Harry. Who knew the Royals were a bunch of fame-whores?

  30. Kate is in a bamboo tent getting fucked by the natives who won the bet.

  31. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Mandoper
    Commented on this photo:

    like a sire

  32. Jon

    Haku is gonna be pissed.

  33. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Sho enuff
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope not racist photo at all….

  34. He’s loving the new Franz Fanon ride at the post-colonial Disney.

  35. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: the vickers machine gun trained on the natives. Without its protection, the prince would very quickly be diverted towards the giant cooking pot located but a few hundred yards away.

  36. Aussie Mama

    Walk you rich priveliged f***!

  37. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    dancingqueen
    Commented on this photo:

    ahhhh…………..macarena

  38. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    dancingqueen
    Commented on this photo:

    “raise da roof”

  39. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Anissa
    Commented on this photo:

    This is stupid!

  40. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    Vaiku Fagekapuke is an 18th century ceremomy that requires a prematurely balding yupie in a business suit with yellow teeth and shades to be carried by 7 mocca brothers while seated in a starbucks-styled chair.

  41. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Vaneshree
    Commented on this photo:

    This has got to be the most disgusting thing I have seen in the 21st century. Hard working worthwhile black women carrying a lazy as hell white women who has done absolutely nothing to deserve such treatment. Vomit!!!

  42. Prince William Kate Middleton Carried By Tribesman At The Vaiku Falekaupule Ceremony
    Powerdonkey
    Commented on this photo:

    What do you mean hard working? They are all fatasses. Look at the superior fitness of the white woman.

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