Lisa Vanderpump Insulted The Royal Penis

August 23rd, 2012 // 53 Comments
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While Naked Prince Harry won hearts and minds the world over yesterday, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, British person and hottest old broad on that show Lisa Vanderpump was apparently not impressed and saw fit to insult the Royal Ginger Scepter of Small Winkyshire. TMZ reports:

Lisa was out in Beverly Hills earlier today when we asked if she’s seen the pictures — and she must have been living under a rock the last 12 hours … because she hadn’t.
So our camera guy showed them to her on his phone — and Lisa replied, “I need a magnifying glass to see that! Hold on, let me get my glasses.”
Once she got a good look, Lisa handed the phone back in disbelief, saying, “That’s not a ROYAL penis!”

Upon hearing said insult to the crown, her majesty the Queen was quoted as saying, “Where’s that white rabbit with a clock around his neck? He’s late, he’s late, for a very important date,” because that’s honestly how I think Parliament works.

Photos: Getty


  1. Stupid Cunt!

    And this is just a blanket statement for every person I’ve seen on this site so far today.

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    I wanna kick that dog out of those clothes.

  3. YoMamma

    Yes, but how big is Lisa’s penis? That’s the real question here.

  4. Emma Watson's Vagina

    I would love to comment on the article or what happened but I all i was thinking was what nice breasts she has.

    • gin&tonic

      that and how she hasn’t completely fucked up her face with surgery like most older women in hollywood

  5. Lisa Vanderpump Cleavage Fran Drescher Peter Marc Jacobson
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwwww! I somehow had expected that Fran Drescher would age better than she did.

  6. your mom

    She’s on a red carpet, with an ankle biter dressed in doll clothes. She has no grounds to insult ANYONE.

  7. Yeah, because a woman who’s wearing clothing that’s two decades too young for her and brandishing an animated dustmop that she’s put clothing on is totes in touch with what’s legitimately royal and what isn’t.

    • The more you know...

      According to Van Der Pump, Jiggy (the dog) has a severe chronic skin condition called Alopecia X, also known as Black Skin Disease. I think she has at one time or another said that his skin condition is one of the reasons why she dresses him up.

      • AllI can say is that it’s wonderfully convenient for her. Since all I see is naked rat-dog dick – and I’m damn sure that flash was deliberate – I wonder if Jiggy is neutered, since that often reverses the alopecia. It appears to have worked really well for her husband.

      • Boy, that vet sure saw her coming from a mile away. Probably started rubbing his hands together gleefully and saying, “Cha-ching! Cha-ching!”

  8. jim

    Old veiny fore-headed irrelevant skank.

  9. Is that an accident of lighting, or does she have some Klingon in her?

  10. kimmykimkim

    No one gives a shit. Next topic.

  11. EricLr

    Thou brigand hast insulted the Royal Sceptre! To the Tower with thee!!!!

  12. Govt. Cheese

    I don’t normally advise this, but someone needs to ejaculate rancid semen on her face. I can’t stand that “I am better than you” smirk she has on her face.

  13. mrsmass

    and how old is this cunt? too told to be wearing that dress.

  14. Rascal

    I checked, you can’t even see the Royal penis. It is behind a pair of hands, who knows how big or small it is? What the hell is wrong with this moron?

  15. Inmate 12236969

    I wanna tit fuck her.

  16. derpino

    Someone please explain to me how “Vanderpump” is an actual name, not a porn name.

  17. So she wasn’t impressed with his bangers and mash? Get it…..bangers and mash? Anyone?

    …….it means cock and balls.

  18. First, how would this vapid H-List celebriwannabe know what a Royal penis looks like? She have little Prince Charles slap her forehead? Secondly, any woman who walks around with a yappy piece of shit ‘rat with long hair’ and clothes it needs therapy. Thirdly, as is the case with most celebrity wannabe’s, she looks good for her age until she opens her mouth, then he cavity laced teeth part and an excruciating yeowl comes flying out trying to form sentances from words and all the while we sit and watch thinking “Shut up and suck Michael Cains penis while making Tea and toast”

  19. The Royal Penis

    Of course that’s not the Royal Penis.

    I’m the Royal Penis mofos.

  20. Lisa Vanderpump Cleavage Fran Drescher Peter Marc Jacobson
    Commented on this photo:

    are those pit stains or underboob sweat on the guys shirt?

  21. WOW

    This is celebrity news? Bye!

  22. Lisa Vanderpump Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m assuming she’s the one on the left.

  23. Colin

    Except the pictures didn’t even show Royal penis. She must have been looking at the self pics she took earlier.

  24. Royal Dick

    She is just shilling for her forthcoming male enhancement product, the VanderPenisPump.

  25. karryballz

    Are girls too dumb to know a grower from a shower?

  26. Lisa Vanderpump Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Could be worse,” Lord Barkington thought to himself. “I could be Phoebe Price’s dog.”

  27. Lisa Vanderpump Cleavage
    Billy Barty, Jr
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks better than Lohan – is that a compliment?

  28. Are people still trying to make theis Prince Harry maked pics shit sound like it’s actual news. GTFO with that bullshit. Nobody gives a fuck. Now if it was Kate and Pippa naked, well, now that’s what I call news.

  29. bah

    Her comment would make sense, but he actually wasn’t naked lolol..He was covering himself up. Pretty much every single guy out there can cover their flacid junk with 2 hands.

  30. Lisa Vanderpump Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d kick her out of bed, for more room on the floor. ;-)

  31. Yoda Mann

    If its all the same with everyone else, I’m going with, “The Clown Prince,” but note this application is copyrighted as of now and I expect a full attribution. Otherwise, feel free to use as you please.

  32. Snot Dissk

    Compared to Giggy’s?

  33. Val

    How has no one noticed the wonk in those tits? Time for a repair job, skank.

  34. zoe…based on the downright hostile remarks directed at Lisa, I’m guessing she hit a sore spot with the small penis remark…She should have given that cutie Harry a break though… he could be a “grower” after all…And Fish got it right.. For a geriatric, she”s pretty smokin.

    • yuck

      It isn’t the small penis remark that bothered me, or maybe a lot of people on here. It is having a face like that and yet thinking she is in any place good to insult anything and anybody. :))

  35. vander who

    Men can cover their junk with two hands – that is true. But what this woman should be covering is her face.

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