Poppy Montgomery Can Cook Without Pants On, Too

September 20th, 2011 // 53 Comments

Ala Chrissy Teigen, here’s Without a Trace, and now Unforgettable, star Poppy Montgomery posing for Esquire.com in her underwear while pretending to cook a delicious meal. Except she openly admits she can’t cook which is my fault for reading the photo captions thus ruining the fantasy. Seriously, who keeps putting words on the Internet? You’re ruining it for everybody. Also, we need room for videos of Hugh Jackman on Monday Night Raw in case people haven’t figured out Real Steel is “a giant, metallic abortion on par with vacuuming a cheese grater out of your uterus,” says Siskel and Ebert.

One of them’s dead aren’t they? Awkward.

Photos: Esquire/MeInMyPlace.com


  1. Jesus Christ Himself

    I’ll contribute here to say that I’ve met her and she is a horrendous, selfish bitch. And she is really fucking hot too.

    • Seriously?

      So what? Do you want to fuck her, or ask her to help you build a homeless shelter? With an ass like that, she can be the most selfish bitch in the world, and no one will care.

      • Dan

        Eh… if you are just fucking her and leaving it is OK, but you don’t want to be in any kind of relationship with them.

        Also, usually selfish people are selfish in bed too. Just saying.

    • Saul

      Jesus always says he met everyone..that whole I’m everywhere magic.

  2. OnTheRealThough

    Daaaaaaamn, she got some meat on that ass.

    The show looks horrendous, but i’ve had my eye on her with the promos.

  3. Beefarino

    I wonder if she has handled beef in her lifetime.

  4. She may not be able to cook, but she’s poppin’ fresh dough from where I sit.

  5. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    nice stink tank!

  6. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    I love the ginger Poppy!

  7. I guess if you’re tapping that action, being fed a pickle omelet is something you can live with.

  8. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know-her ass looks like a pancake and her titties don’t look much better. I feel like if you looked harder you could see her gray roots on that cheap dye job.

  9. Dan

    I’m going to go against the grain here and say she doesn’t do much for me… not interested for some reason.

    Or maybe I am totally desensitized from Christina Hendricks.

  10. Dan

    ALSO RE: Ad on the left. Kendra wrote a book?

    I didn’t know she could read!


  11. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Pippy Longcockings
    Commented on this photo:

    She can nuke my corndog!

  12. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    Honey, you don’t need that cucumber anymore.
    I’m here now.
    Oh, you like it like that huh?
    Ok then keep the cucumber too.

  13. Bob

    yupyup, Kendra wrote a book – seems it’s not too half-bad either! Both the people who read it give a thumbs-up.

  14. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    Needs more airbrush.

    (not sarcasm)

    Yeah I’m shallow. Wanna fight about it?

  15. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:


  16. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    Poppy Harlow still > Poppy Montgomery

  17. ET Phone Home

    lol “Me, In My Place,” with the main photo in the kitchen. Nice.

  18. See Alice

    She is a hottie but gingers have no soul .

  19. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    How Old Is She?
    Commented on this photo:

    Pancake ass.

  20. Arzach

    Poppy poped out my puppy

  21. forrest gump

    so to all american ladies: GET YOUR ASS IN THE KITCHEN.
    as fast as you can!!!

  22. dontkillthemessenger

    I’m 98% more interested in banging her and 0% more interested in watching her new show.

  23. Venom

    Her show kind of sucks and she looks way older on the show than she does here in these photos.

  24. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    more like floppy

  25. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think she should be showing that ass off

  26. Hahaga

    All side shots, cuz her boobies have that old lady sag……

  27. skunk

    i just poppy’d a boner

  28. PeggyGuggenheim

    And that’s how you get pink eye from an omelet.

  29. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    Chopping up peppers without pants on… recipe for disaster.
    ..just saying. Eventually it’s gonna end up in your eyes or urethra…

    Way to be an example for the kids, poppy.

  30. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    Chopping up peppers while not wearing pants… recipe for disaster.
    Just saying.. eventually it’s going to end up in your eyes or urethra.

    Way to be an example for the kids, Poppy.

  31. wtf

    damn she’s 36!!! Yes 36!! looks awesome.

  32. Rippy

    OMG hothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothot!

  33. Potenwa

    Uh! Tink Shes’ sexy bt wonda y she mst bare it all, evry nw nd thn.smebdy pls tel mi if she’s got boyfriend cos i ma …..

  34. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG… I love those freckles!!! Gorgeous posterior.

  35. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    She is rocking that black, slinky slip that would be on the damn floor in a minute if I were there. Her ass looks damn good for being in her 40′s.

  36. j

    Her ass looks too big? Seriously??? Like you wouldn’t nail her 5 times before sunrise!

  37. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:

    that is one fantastic looking ass…! and love her new show “Unforgetable”

  38. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Commented on this photo:


  39. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Brandon James
    Commented on this photo:

    Poppy Montgomery is totally cute and smokin’ hot.

  40. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Brandon James
    Commented on this photo:

    Oooh baby! Poppy got booty!

  41. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Brandon James
    Commented on this photo:

    Poppy look hot!

  42. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Brandon James
    Commented on this photo:

    Poppy Montgomery got a nice butt!

  43. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    Brandon James
    Commented on this photo:

    Poppy is so sexy!

  44. Poppy Montgomery Lingerie Esquire
    tom harbin
    Commented on this photo:

    darling, looking at you is as if looking into a campfire, you totally consume my mind.

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