Just Kidding, The Pope Barely Even Met Kim Davis

“Bitch said whaaaaa?”

Before we get into this, yesterday, Charles P. Pierce wrote a great piece for Esquire about how Pope Francis could’ve been swindled into meeting Kim Davis by conservative hardliners in the Vatican working in conjunction with Davis’ lawyer and ABC News in exchange for an exclusive interview – which it got. Long story short, the Pope had no idea who the fuck he was meeting, and if anything, shook hands with her, tossed some vague Popey words of encouragement, and bounced. Jump to this morning, where the Vatican press office clearly received explicit instructions to tell everyone Pope Francis never requested to meet Davis like her bullshit lawyer claimed because, again, the Pope had no idea who she was, and now that he does, she can eat the dicks. Via Gawker:

The brief meeting between Mrs. Kim Davis and Pope Francis at the Apostolic Nunciature in Washington, DC has continued to provoke comments and discussion. In order to contribute to an objective understanding of what transpired I am able to clarify the following points:
Pope Francis met with several dozen persons who had been invited by the Nunciature to greet him as he prepared to leave Washington for New York City. Such brief greetings occur on all papal visits and are due to the Pope’s characteristic kindness and availability. The only real audience granted by the Pope at the Nunciature was with one of his former students and his family.
The Pope did not enter into the details of the situation of Mrs. Davis and his meeting with her should not be considered a form of support of her position in all of its particular and complex aspects.

Great. Now that that’s settled, the Left can go back to ironically fawning over the head of a homophobic, misogynistic, child-fucking cult, and the Right can go back to hating clergymen who have the nerve to quote anything from The Bible that isn’t stoning gays to death or the uncleanliness of a woman’s vagina. And for some background music, mass shootings. USA!

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